Satisfaction Guaranteed(51)

I head to the place where I feel most myself, where I know how to solve problems. Maybe that’ll give me a flash of clarity. I go to the clinic, making calls to clients, inquiring how their little four-legged family members are doing after surgeries and procedures. I check on paperwork. I answer emails.

But none of that makes me any happier.

None of that soothes the ache in my heart.

I turn and talk to the photo of my dad. “So there’s this girl. I work with her. In the same damn space. I’m madly in love with her. What would you do, Dad?”

I close my eyes, wishing to hear him, longing for his advice. It’s been eighteen years, but that hasn’t stopped me from wanting it. I try to listen to what he might tell me.

A throat clears. “Tell her father you’re in love with her.”

In a flash, I sit up straight, open my eyes, and stare at Jonathan, who’s standing in the doorway of my office.

“What are you doing here?”

“Sam left her phone, and I came to pick it up for her.”

“That was nice of you.”

“That’s what men and women do for each other when they like each other. They help each other. They tell each other things. They do things for each other. You could do that for Sloane, too, if you would actually take the next step and make things happen.”

Up is down. Right is left. Everything is inside out. “Jonathan, are you seriously giving me relationship advice?”

He nods vigorously. “Just tell Doug. Go for it. I swear, your generation makes such a big deal of everything.”

I scoff. “You do realize I’m only nine years older than you? That’s hardly a generation.”

“Feels like a lifetime.”

“And you do realize you want me to pay your vet school bills?”

He smiles, a big, cheesy grin. “I do. I do want you to pay my vet school bills. But I also want you to be happy. I saw how you were with Sloane. I don’t know what the big deal is. Just go figure it out.” He gives a quick wave. “I need to jet. The woman wants me.”

He leaves, and I’m all alone.

I stare at the photo once more, but this time I don’t need to ask. I know what my dad would tell me. He put my mother first. He put us first. He put love first.

He prioritized that over his practice. Maybe that’s why he was never able to open his own clinic.

Because work wasn’t his first love.

He was excellent at his job, but he ended each day at five and came home to be with us and my mom. He savored every moment of the years they had together.

Funny—that’s what Doug is doing now too. Savoring.

I’m the one who’s been obsessed with work. Driven mad by a dream my dad never asked me to fulfill.

Maybe he had his biggest dreams—his wife and his family—and having his own clinic wasn’t worth sacrificing those things.

He wouldn’t want me to chase a dream if it made me feel so damn empty.

Right now, that’s how I feel without her. Like a part of me is missing. A part she irrevocably owns.

A part I need back desperately, and I need her to bring it back to me, and to say it when she does.

Because she’s the dream.

I grab my phone and dial Doug’s number, but it goes to voicemail. I bet he’s already left for his trip.

I can’t do anything to fix this here, so I get the hell out of the office.





45





I go in the direction of my dreams.

I have to earn the right to tell Sloane I love her. To do that, I need to clear a big hurdle. Even though it’s late, I call a Lyft and head uptown to Doug’s place, stopping in the lobby at the concierge desk, hoping he’s not taxiing at the airport, ready for takeoff. The man rings Doug’s apartment, and I cross my fingers, sending a tense prayer out to the universe that my business partner is still in town.

I wait.

Then I pump a fist when the concierge says into the phone, “There’s a Malone Goodman here to see you, sir.”

I wait an interminable amount of time for the concierge to nod and tell me to head to the elevator.

When I press the button, it takes a decade till the elevator arrives. I step inside, just as the other elevator shows up too. The door closes and I will it to shoot up seven stories, lightning fast, to make up the time.

I haven’t planned a speech or mapped out a detailed presentation. I march down the hallway and arrive at Doug’s door unrehearsed. I take a deep breath, letting it fill me with strength and courage.

I don’t know how Sloane is going to react when I finally tell her how I feel. But I know that you can’t fix a problem if you don’t start at the beginning. There’s a process. A way to do things. You don’t get to the end of the song if you haven’t sung the beginning. You don’t finish the surgery if you haven’t begun it. You have to do your job in the right order.

Maybe this is the order I should’ve followed years ago.

But I’m going to follow it now—my relationship with Doug came first, so I have to tell him before I tell her.

I knock on the door. He opens it, shooting me a quizzical look then smiling. “Hey, Malone. Come on in.”

I step inside and jump off the cliff. “I’m glad you haven’t left yet because I need to tell you I’m madly in love with your daughter. I have been for some time. I’m not asking your permission to pursue a relationship with her, because I’m going to pursue it anyway. I know you once told me not to get any ideas, but I’m crazy in love with her, so that ship has sailed.”