Satin Princess(73)

“Chris,” I say as carefully as I can, “you realize that I’m carrying another man’s baby, right?”

“I told you once before and I’ll say it again: I will help you raise the baby. And I’ll treat the child as if he or she were my own.”

I believe him. I really do.

But it doesn’t make a difference.

“I know you would, Chris. But I… I love Anton. I know you don’t want to hear that, but it’s how I feel. It’s the truth.”

“The truth can change,” he says quickly.

“This one won’t.”

“How can you be sure?” he asks.

“Because… I’ve never felt this way before, Chris. I thought I loved Dane. But it wasn’t anything like what I feel for Anton. It wasn’t as strong or as fierce.”

He cringes. I know this can’t be easy for him to hear, and that breaks my heart.

“Chris,” I say gently. “I love you to death. You will always be my friend.”

“Would this conversation have gone differently if he weren’t in the picture?” he asks.

I frown. “I can’t say for sure, but I don’t think so.”

The pain on his face is unmistakable. “You really wouldn’t have even given me a chance?”

“I’ve always loved you as a friend, Chris. I’m sure if I had been capable of more, it would have happened before now.”

I don’t know any other way to make myself clearer. Chris looks away from me for a moment, and I give him space, even though all I want to do is reach out and take his hand.

“What if I say it doesn’t matter?” he asks suddenly.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, what if I say I don’t care that you don’t have feelings for me? Leave him and let me take care of you instead.”

“Chris, you’re not making sense.”

“He’s dangerous, Jessa,” he repeats again. “He’s not the right man for you. Even if he was half-decent, his lifestyle isn’t. Is that what you want for yourself and your child? I may not be as powerful or as exciting or as good-looking—”

“Chris, that has nothing to do with—”

“But I will give you the life you wanted before all this. I can give you safety and security. We can get a house just outside the city, near a good school district. You can try and start a restaurant or a café somewhere close. You don’t have to love me that way… but I can still give you the quiet family life you’ve always wanted.”

“What if I don’t want that anymore?”

He looks at me, clearly at a loss for words.

“You said it yourself. Sometimes, truths change,” I say.

“Jessa…”

“I’m sorry, Chris. I want to stay with him.”

“What has he offered you apart from protection from Marina?” Chris demands. “Is he offering love? Has he even said he loves you?”

The waitress approaches suddenly with a bright smile on her face. “Sorry it’s taken me so long to get to your table. We’re packed today.”

I slowly get to my feet. “That’s okay. I was just leaving.”

Chris jolts out of his seat and grabs my arm. “Jess, please. Don’t do this.”

The waitress looks awkwardly between us. “I’ll… give you two a minute.” She rushes off, and I notice that Lev and the bodyguard squadron are still sitting two tables down from us. All eyes on me.

“Don’t go, Jessa.”

I shake my head. “I have to.”

“Leave him and be with me,” he tries again.

“I don’t love you like that, Chris. I don’t think I can.”

He winces a little. I hate that I have to hurt him to help him understand the reality of our situation.

“You haven’t tried.”

“Oh, Chris,” I say, feeling miserable and guilty all in one breath. “You’ll always be my best friend. Nothing will change that, okay?”

I grab my bag and he drops his hand as defeat washes over him.

“Fine,” he says, the color draining from his face. “But if you insist on doing this, I can’t be in your life, Jessa.”

“Chris, wait—”

“No, I’m serious. I watched you make two mistakes already. I refuse to go for number three.”

He walks away before I can, throwing Lev and his men a dirty look as he goes.

Lev lets him pass and then walks over to me. “That looked intense. You wanna talk about it?

“No,” I whisper. “I just want to go home.”





25





ANTON





Lev strolls into my study with his hands in his pockets. He was on Jessa’s security team this morning. I know Chris won’t hurt her, but that doesn’t mean I trust him. And there is always Marina to look out for.

I put my pen down. “How was it?”

In answer, Lev just gives me a long, low whistle.

Frowning, I stand up. “What happened?”

“I can’t be sure. I was mainly lip reading. But I’m pretty sure he declared his feelings for her.”