Safe with Me (With Me in Seattle, #5)(20)

“Thank God,” he mutters and tilts my head back to kiss me, sweeping his lips over mine gently before sinking in and pushing his tongue past my lips, holding my face in his palm. Finally, he pulls back and kisses my forehead. “Let’s get them to bed, so I can get you to bed.”

“Good plan.”

***

“Mommy! Mommy!”

“Bryn.” Caleb touches my arm.

“It’s Josie,” I cry out, immediately awake and springing from the bed to run down the hall to the girls’ room. Caleb is right behind me.

“Mommy!”

“I’m here, baby girl. What’s wrong?”

“She throwed up,” Maddie informs us and points to the side of Josie’s bed.

“I’m sorry,” Josie cries.

“Oh, baby, it’s okay.” I pull her into my arms, unaware that Caleb has left the room. I press my cheek against her forehead and gasp.

She’s burning up.

“You have a fever, my friend. I’m going to take your temperature, okay?”

“Okay,” she croaks and lays back just as Caleb returns with a large bowl and cleaning supplies.

“You take care of her, I’ve got the mess.”

“You don’t have to…”

“It’s fine, Bryn. I’ve got it.”

“Thank you.” I kiss his cheek and bustle to the medicine cabinet for fever medicine and a thermometer and return to the bed just as Caleb is finishing with the mess on the floor.

“Mommy?” Maddie calls from her bed.

“Yes, baby,” I respond and take Josie’s temp in her ear.

One-oh-one. Damn.

“I don’t feel good.” Maddie sits up and wraps her arms around her waist.

“Come on, buttercup,” Caleb scoops her up and carries her into the bathroom, where I hear her retching.

Josie hears it too, and it makes her throw up again. Thank God Caleb brought the bowl.

And so it goes for the next few hours, holding the girls while they throw up, cooling them down with wet cloths and finally, giving them fever medicine and praying it will stay down.

Caleb never falters. He never leaves us to go back to bed. He doesn’t scowl and get grossed out by the amount of vomit coming out of these two little people.

He just quietly helps me, as we alternate between the girls, changing their clothes, helping them to the bathroom and comforting them.

I’m rocking Josie in the plush rocking chair in the corner, and Caleb is holding Maddie, sitting on her bed with his back against the wall.

“I don’t know how to thank you,” I whisper to him.

“You don’t need to thank me, Brynna.” He looks down into Mad’s face and frowns. “Poor things are so sick.”

“The flu is going around.” I lean my head back on the cushion and close my eyes. “Samantha had it last week.”

“What do we do now?” He asks.

“This is pretty much it,” I respond with a grin. “Stay up and give them medicine, pray the hurling is over, and hold them.”

“It’s hard work,” he remarks casually and watches me over Maddie’s head.

“This is nothing,” I laugh humorlessly. “When they were little, I never slept. They never wanted to sleep at the same time, no matter how hard I tried to get them on a schedule. They had to eat every two hours, both of them, so I felt like I was always feeding them.”

I shake my head and smile over at him. “I think I went two weeks at one point without a shower.”

“Why didn’t you have help?” He asks.

“My mom came out for a few weeks when they were first born, but they were in the NICU because they were born early, and when it was time to bring them home, my mom had to go home, too.”

“How early were they?”

“About three weeks,” I reply.

“Where was Jeff?” He growls.

I laugh again and trace Josie’s soft cheek with my fingertip.

“Working. Always working.” I bite my lip, hating that I feel tears coming on. “He wasn’t even there when they were born.”

Caleb curses under his breath.

“He wasn’t a bad man, Caleb.” I take a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Honestly, he just shouldn’t have ever started a family with anyone. I knew when I married him that the job was his priority. He never made that a secret.”

Josie stirs, changing positions in my arms.

“I guess I thought he might change once the girls were born.” I smile over at Caleb sadly. “But he didn’t. And we realized early on that he shouldn’t be with us.”

“So you’ve been a single mom from day one.” It’s not a question.

“I have,” I nod. “I love them so much. They are worth every hour of sleep lost, Caleb. But damn, it’s exhausting and scary when they’re sick. There are times that I’ve had one throwing up in the bathroom and one throwing up in her bed and I can only be with one of them. What am I supposed to do then?”

I look up at him and let the tears fall silently down my cheeks in frustration.

“Or when they’re both crying for me, and I can only hold one of them at a time, especially now that they’re so much bigger.” I shake my head and wipe my cheeks. “I worry that I’m not enough for them.”