Royally Not Ready(34)

And it felt like everything was sexual when we spoke about appearance today. Everything.

And the way his eyes would turn dark when I answered his questions. I started to grow more sensual with my answers simply because I enjoyed the way he would react. Sure, I shouldn’t be trying to turn on the guy who is supposed to be training me, but even though I reprimanded myself over and over again, I couldn’t stop.

I couldn’t stop, because the moment he caressed my tattoo, I was gone.

Every swipe was like he was imprinting himself into my bones.

After our session was done, I had to go up to my room and take a few deep breaths . . . and then shower to cool myself down.

“He’s always enjoyed cooking. When we have time off, we like to travel to different food festivals. He loves finding new ingredients and using them in his recipes. At one point, he talked about putting together a recipe book, but of course, his loyalty lies with the crown, so he wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize that.”

“How would putting together a cookbook jeopardize that?”

“He doesn’t like to lose focus. I know when he’s in the kitchen, I have to be extra alert because he’s truly zeroed in on what he’s creating. It’s a good, relaxing outlet for him. Being on guard all the time can be tiring.”

“I can imagine,” I say. “What do you do to relax?”

“I enjoy making doilies. It’s one of our country’s traditions.”

“Oh right, uh . . . hard—uh . . .”

“Hardanger embroidery.”

“That’s right. Keller told me my mom was very good at it.”

“She was. I’ve seen her work. Exquisite. I could only hope my pieces look half as good as hers.”

“I’m sure you do beautiful work as well.”

The wind whips past us, kicking my hair over my shoulders and flapping behind me.

“Are you cold?” Lara asks as I pull on my long sleeves.

“Just a bit, but after a day in that stuffy room, I want to spend a little more time out here. Fresh air does the body good.”

“That it does. How was training?” We pause at a boulder, and together, we take a seat and watch the ocean roll into the black rocks below us.

“Interesting. Sort of boring at times, and I know I shouldn’t say that, but going over etiquette and what dress to wear when is not at the top of my list of things I want to learn. Can’t there just be a guide that I reference on all of that? Why do I have to remember it now?”

“I think Keller’s trying to give you a glimpse into what life will be like. He’s laying it all out on the table so you can make the best decision possible.”

“I guess that makes sense.” I look behind my shoulder and ask, “Is it true that as queen, we’re expected to pose naked for our first portrait?”

“What?” Lara asks, turning to face me. “Did Keller say that?”

A roar of laughter escapes me as I shake my head. “No, but your reaction was priceless.”

Lara presses her hand to her chest. “Goodness, I was going to charge back to the castle and ask Keller what the hell he was telling you.”

I chuckle some more. “No, he did talk about the process of the first portrait, though. That was an unnecessary interlude. He did mention that I had to button up a bit and not swear. That’s going to be fucking hard for me.”

She chuckles. “Just put on your child filter when out in public. Don’t say anything you wouldn’t say to a child.”

“Huh, that’s an easy way to put it rather than Keller listing off the things I’m forbidden to say.” I smirk. “I upped my swearing during the training just to press his buttons.”

Lara smiles. “You sure are giving him a run for his money. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him as concerned as he was when I nailed you in the head with the broom.”

I nudge her shoulder with mine. “I’m glad you can joke about it now.”

“Me too. But he was . . . he was distraught. I offered to watch over you that night, but he insisted it be him.” She pauses and says, “He’s very protective of you.”

You matter most.

I still think about what Keller said. I matter most.

I’d like to believe that there’s something there, something between us. I saw a glint of arousal in his eyes when I told him about my piercings. And when I unleashed my sexual history, there was no mistaking the way he shifted in his chair or how he clenched his jaw tighter. But I also know if Keller actually felt something for me, he’d never act on it. I haven’t known him long, but his loyalty and pride toward his country are too strong. He would never mess anything up that would put Torskethorpe in jeopardy.

“He’s protective of his country. I’m part of that,” I say.

Lara brings her legs to her chest and says, “I don’t know, there’s something different about him when you’re around. I’m not sure what it is, but it’s there. Who knows, maybe you’re right, maybe he’s being extra cautious, given the circumstances we’re in. But he does seem to stick close to you.”

He does, but I don’t think it’s because he finds me attractive or anything like that. I truly believe it’s because he’s doing a job.

“Well, I’m glad we’re able to get some girl time. I don’t have anyone to really talk to about all of this. I can’t explain this to my friend back in Miami, Timmy Tuna. I don’t think I could explain this to anyone. But you get it because you’re living it with me.”