Royally Not Ready(28)
What if . . . what if I was supposed to be here all along?
What if I’m supposed to be queen?
“How are you feeling?” Lara asks as she takes a seat next to me on the couch. She offers me a handkerchief of ice that I press gently to my cut. Brimar and Keller went out for a long jog this morning, despite the bags under their eyes or the yawns that wouldn’t evade them.
Lara said she would get her workout in later so she could stay and tend to me. Frankly, I think it’s ridiculous, it’s a minor cut on my head, but no matter what I say, none of them will listen.
“I’m feeling pretty good. Sore, tired. Keller wasn’t kidding when he said he would wake me up.”
“It’s protocol. But I’m glad you’re doing okay. I just want to say—”
“Lara, do not apologize again, do you hear me?” I say to the beautiful blonde. Standing at six feet, she’s a total babe with her strong, athletic frame, thick thighs, and smooth facial features. Sitting next to her, I know there’s no chance anything could happen to me.
“I do.” She winces. “But I am.”
“I know you are,” I say. “But honestly, I think it was really badass what you did last night. If I heard something in the middle of the night, I wouldn’t have used a broom like a spear to stun the attacker, I would have crawled under my bed and prayed to the Lord above that I was invisible.”
She laughs. “I’ve always been a bit of a daredevil and faced fear head-on.”
“God, you’re so cool. And the fact that I have a female bodyguard watching over me . . . can we pause and offer a round of applause to feminism? I love that you’re here with us.”
“I do too. This is momentous in our country’s history, and I’m excited to play a small part in it.” She worries her lip. “Not to pressure you, but have you made a decision about what you’re going to do?”
“I think maybe I have.”
“Really?” she asks in a hopeful tone just as the men walk through the front door of the castle and join us in the living room. Both of their faces are red, chilly from the wind whipping around this morning, but even though I know it’s a damp morning with a light sprinkle, there are still sweat stains on their shirts, a deep V marking the front of their chests.
“Everything okay?” Keller asks, walking up to us.
“Yes,” Lara says. “I was just going to go grab some breakfast for everyone. How’s oatmeal?” That hopeful look on her face seconds ago disappears as she goes into work mode.
“That’s great,” Keller says.
“I’ll assist you,” Brimar offers, following Lara into the kitchen.
When they’re out of earshot, Keller takes a seat on the uneven stone floor and says, “It seems like you were talking about something important.”
“Lara asked me if I’ve made a decision about what I’m going to do.”
“Ah,” Keller says, his eyes drifting down as he stretches his legs. I know avoidance when I see it—he’s worried about what I’ll say, so he doesn’t look me in the eyes. I’d probably be doing the same thing if I were in his position. But what he doesn’t realize is that he’s already said some extremely compelling things.
“You matter most, Lilly. Even if you decide you don’t want to be part of the royal life and you go back to Miami, until that time has come . . . you . . . matter . . . most.”
Admittedly, that rocked me. In a good way. I. Matter. Most. Wow. Things were great with my parents, but I’d never felt so championed than in that moment.
And then he told me he had confidence in me with “I think your life is in Miami, but your soul rests among the moss and lava rock. You belong here, Lilly.” Maybe . . . that’s true.
“Don’t you want to know what it is?”
“Yes,” he says, and I can see the tension in his shoulders rise as the anticipation of my answer hangs in the air.
“I’m not sure what all of this entails, the training, the responsibility, but I feel like if I don’t at least try, then I’m going to regret it.” His eyes pop up to mine, hope resonating in his pupils. “Being here, hearing about my mom, I already feel like I’ve found a piece of me I’ve been missing, and I don’t think I’m ready to give that up. So, I’m going to give this a try. I will give the king two months.”
He controls his smile, never letting it reach his eyes, nor does he allow his excitement to shine, but in the subtle way his chest puffs, to the faint wrinkles in the corner of his eyes, I know my decision has truly brought him joy.
And even though I’m in this to find my soul, like Keller pointed out, I can’t help but feel like bringing Keller joy is something I was meant to do.
Chapter Eight
KELLER
“She agreed,” I say quietly into the phone.
Theo coughs on the other end but then follows up with a choked-up, tear-filled response. “Really? Truly she wants to stay?”
“She said she would give you two months.” I’m almost whispering, not wanting my voice to carry. I snuck up to the bathroom for a shower but knew I had to relay the information to Theo as quickly as possible.