Roommate Arrangement (Divorced Men's Club #1)(13)

“His … toothbrush?”

Payne waves a hand at me. “I don’t want to get into it. But I shouldn’t have done that.”

The bitter, vindictive part of me rears its ugly head. “There was a lot he shouldn’t have done to you. Does it make me a bad person to like that you retaliated?”

“Do you?” His eyes are twinkling, and it makes my gut feel unsteady. “Maybe it does. But if so, then it makes me a bad person too, because smashing his laptop felt so fucking good.”

I can’t help it, I start to laugh. The thought of Kyle arriving home to a smashed laptop and Payne gone makes me so happy. Holy shit, I am a horrible person. A horrible, horrible person. A horrible person who almost wants to suggest that Payne use me as a rebound fuck. Maybe even tell Kyle about it.

When I glance back over, his smile is the one I remember from before all this heartache. Shit, he makes me weak.

I need to try harder to put my plan into action.

But then there’s that tiny voice that doesn’t want to.

I shake the conflicting thoughts away. “How did you find out?”

He chuckles. “You’re nosy, has anyone ever told you that before?”

“A lot. How else would I get ideas for my characters?”

“What?” His eyebrows shoot up. “I don’t want you writing about this.”

I hold up my hands. “Joke. I’m sorry, just a joke. I don’t write about real things anyway, but even if I did, I wouldn’t use people I know.”

“Yeah. Of course.” He shakes his head. “Sorry.”

I sigh. “I guess my jokes are an area I need to work on. Got it.”

He makes a noise I can’t decipher.

“What?” I ask.

“Nothing.”

I cringe. “And now that I’ve epically screwed up a nice conversation, I’m going to spend the rest of the night going over and over it in my head, trying to work out what I should have said.”

“Really?” His gaze slides over me. “Why?”

“I can’t help it.”

“But it won’t make a difference.”

“I don’t do it because I think it will make a difference, I do it because I like to torture myself with all the ways I could have been better, funnier, sounded smarter or more interesting. I work out everything I would change if I could.”

Those unnerving eyes meet mine again. “Funny. Because I don’t think I’d change a thing.”

My mouth drops, and I want to point out why he’s wrong, and where I could have been smoother, and maybe moments I could have made him more relaxed.

But then Payne’s large hand is patting my arm in a completely casual way, and I damn near swallow my tongue.

“I think I’m going to hit the sack,” he says.

All I can do is nod.





DMC GROUP CHAT





Art: Hey, how’s things? Settled in okay?

Payne: Depends on how you define okay.

Orson: Oh no, I sense a story.

Payne: Haha no story. Just … different.

Griffin: Dude, you’re living with Beau, even if everything is ducked, at least you have the eye candy, right?

Griffin: Fucked, dammit.

Payne: He’s cute all right, but also … I dunno. He has a routine at home, I guess, and I’m trying not to disrupt him too much.

Art: If you walk on eggshells around him, all you’ll end up with is messy feet.

Orson: What Art and Griffin are TRYING to say is that sounds tough and we’re here if you need to talk.

Griffin: ^WHS.

Art: Sure. That. But also, this is your time. You don’t need to explain yourself to anyone or make excuses. It’s your place. Live the way that makes you happy.

Payne: Thanks for the … I want to say support, but that doesn’t sound right.

Art: Any time, brother.

Orson: Maybe next time message me direct.

Griffin: Hey, do you think you could snap some sneaky shirtless pics? Asking for a friend, of course.

Payne: JFC.





5





Payne


I tuck my hands behind my head, staring up at the bright white ceiling. It’s new, like everything else in the apartment, but unlike everything else, it’s still perfectly clean. I know, because in the week since I’ve moved in, I’ve spent a bit of time studying it.

All thanks to my … let’s go with interesting roommate.

There’s noise from out in the living room, and it makes my lips twitch. Beau is different than I thought. It’s weird that I’ve known him for over twenty years, but apparently I didn’t actually know him. When we were younger, he was my kid brother’s friend. Always around, cool to chat to and shoot the shit with, but during our college years I barely saw him, and since then … he said that fucker made him feel uncomfortable, and the more I think back to how Beau behaved with him around, I realize how different it was to when it was only me visiting home.

In the last week, I’m seeing a different side to Beau.

And it’s a side of him I’m not sure how to take.

He’s … high-energy but in a controlled way. Every time I duck out there, he shoots to his feet and hovers around me, trying to force conversation, eyes constantly darting back to his desk. It’s clear he doesn’t know how to react to someone being in his space, and if this is what he was like when he had people cleaning the place, I’m not surprised he stopped having them come. There’s a difference between needing to fill silences and needing to make yourself available for every possible second. Beau is firmly in the latter category.