Rome (Marked Men, #3)(33)

I heaved a deep sigh. “I don’t know.” And I really didn’t. Rome was not on my agenda, he was not what I was looking for, but I couldn’t stop thinking about him and all his imperfections. That wasn’t good. I put my chin on my hand and looked at Rowdy.

“Don’t you get lonely? Rule’s with Shaw, Jet went and got married, for Christ’s sake. Don’t you look around and wonder when it’s your turn? I know you well enough to know that the endless girls, the one-night stands, are what they are. You could do without, but if the right one came along you would be all over her.”

He laughed without any humor and leaned back in his chair. When the waitress came by he ordered us a round of J?ger shots.

“The right one came along forever ago, only I wasn’t her right one, so now it is what it is and I’m just killing time.”

I blinked at him in surprise. He never really talked about his past much. I knew he grew up in the system in Texas, that he used to play football, and that he had left the game and college unexpectedly and decided to tattoo instead, but that was really it.

“So you don’t think there’s anyone else after that? You’re just going to spend the rest of your life going girl to girl and being alone?”

It made me think of Jimmy, of the life I thought I was supposed to have by now. I had invested everything in him, had thought he was my everything, and now I wasn’t so sure. Nothing had flipped me upside down the way the pain and passion that burned in Rome’s bright blue eyes had. I wasn’t a person affected by a lot, but he affected me, no doubt about it. He was about as steady and secure as a tropical storm, though, and that made him more than a little dangerous to my sense of what was right for me.

“For now it’s all about a good time and eventually someone will come along and I’ll be her one, and if I’m lucky I’ll like her well enough that that’ll be enough to make it work. I don’t think that idiot you left behind in New York was ever your one and only, Tink. I think you were young and tired of being bounced around by your dad, so you latched on to the first steady thing you could find. You thought Jimmy was going to be your family, your home, and when that didn’t happen you ended up lost and scared. I think you’ll know it when your one comes along, because perfect or not, he’s going to knock you sideways and maybe for once shut you up and you won’t have time to be scared anymore.”

I didn’t respond when his gaze flicked to where Rome was standing. Crap. I tossed back the shot and made a face at him.

“You suck.”

“Only when asked nicely.” We shared a laugh and I looked up in surprise when a shadow fell over the edge of the table. I hated that I had to crank my neck back to look up at Rome. The scar on his forehead stood out in stark relief in the dim light of the bar. A muscle was twitching in his cheek and his normally iridescent eyes seemed kind of cloudy and dark.

“Can you tell Rule and Shaw I’ve had enough? I’m gonna bounce.” He sounded gruff and looked irritated at something. His leather limpet was nowhere to be seen.

“Enmity hasn’t even played yet.” Why I told him that I had no idea. Obviously the band hadn’t gone on stage yet. I was just being snippy and argumentative.

He narrowed his eyes at me and opened his mouth then shut it again like he had to rethink what he was going to say. He gave his head a tiny little shake like he was marshaling his thoughts.

“I’ve known Jet since he was a kid. I’ve seen him play a thousand times. I’m trying really hard not to drink, and if I stick around here one more second, that isn’t going to be possible.”

We stared at each other in silence. I didn’t know if I should take that as he shouldn’t drink anymore to avoid making mistakes like the one he made with me, or that he needed to stop drinking because he was out of control and it wasn’t helping matters.

Rowdy ordered us another round of shots and I saw Rome’s jaw clench. I wasn’t sure what was going on, so I defaulted to my usual glib manner.

“Captain No-Fun strikes again.”

I saw his dark brows lower and felt Rowdy tense next to me. It was rude and it was uncalled for, but before I could apologize, he put his hands on the table in front of me and bent down so that we were face-to-face. There was a storm brewing in that blue gaze and I didn’t think I wanted any part of it, or maybe I wanted to be the cause of it and that was why I was acting so awful.

“Pretty sure you know what my idea of a good time is. I’d be happy to remind you in case you forgot.”

My breath got caught in my throat and I saw Rowdy shift uncomfortably next to me.

“No thanks. I think Catwoman wants a turn.”

He sneered at me and started to walk away throwing over his shoulder, “You would know that there’s more than enough to go around, Half-Pint.”

It took me a second to catch my breath after he was gone. I couldn’t bring myself to watch and see if the brunette ended up leaving with him or not. Rowdy let out another low whistle.

“Dude, I didn’t think I would ever see the day anyone got the last word with you. Totally sideways.”

I ignored him and picked my beer back up. I couldn’t do this with Rome. Couldn’t run him off, these were his friends and family, too. I couldn’t be bitchy to him just because I was jealous and envious that his hotness was undeniable. I was going to have to put on my big-girl panties and have a showdown with him, have the talk that I really didn’t want to have and clear the air. I wasn’t sure what I was going to do with him exactly, but there was something in all the messed-up ways we were around each other I didn’t think we could ignore. But first I was going to drink all the J?ger in Colorado and try to block out the image of that leather-clad skank with her paws all over him. I also was going to steadfastly avoid the knowing looks Rowdy kept shooting at me; either that or I was going to punch him in the nose.