Rogue (Real #4)(69)

I’m already mourning the loss of her as her hand wanders to the zipper of my pants, and the merest brush of her fingers gets me hard while my chest throbs with the loss.

She’s f*cking lost to me already.

I groan and close my eyes as I battle my own urge to take her, right here, right now; instead I stop her wandering hand and kiss her. I want to dip my hand up her skirt, edge the panty aside and slip in a finger. She’s already panting hard and clinging to my neck, her head falling back in pleasure against my shoulder. But she’s drunk and I’m angry, and I’m jealous and want more than her body. I want her f*cking soul, and I want her to give it to me knowing who I am.

Fucking fool, she won’t.

Groaning in pain, I lean into her mouth, and she kisses me hard.

She mumbles my name, and I hear myself whisper that she was an angel in the rain . . . the only woman I’ve ever spent the night with, bought a home for, followed around just for a glimpse . . .

A new tear slips down her cheek, but I’m the one undone. What shakes me is the tenderness in the way she curls to me even as she’s crying.

I press a kiss to the top of her head and I can’t seem to stop pressing kisses into her hair, my own self-loathing growing by the second.

Just one more mark now. I’ve got the evidence to nail him. And then I just need to whisper in her ear, to give me that f*cking necklace I gave her because I’m going to give her another one, a better one, and that this one will take care of everything.

I’ll get control of the Underground. I’ll be smarter, better organized, I’ll make sure my mother is safe, and as for Melanie . . .

I tap on the car roof and lower the partition separating us from Derek. “Drive over to get her friend, the happy one,” I say with sarcasm.

Mumbling some sort of protest under her breath, she shakes her head. “Don’t go. I’ve been dreaming about you.”

“And call one of the guys,” I tell Derek. “I’ll need you to stay with princess while someone drives me to the airport.” I pull up the partition between us and Derek and groan. “Don’t say that now,” I whisper.

She grabs my hand and puts it on her tits. “When I see you, my boobs hurt.”

God. She’s so f*cking drunk. “When you’re sober, I’m going to tell you some shit you won’t like,” I whisper, a gruff warning. “Don’t say anything now.”

“Greyson . . .”

“I’m going to tell you something about me but I don’t want you to try to fix me. I can’t be fixed. You either need to accept who I am or tell me you want to leave, and I give you my word I’ll let you go if you ask for that.”

She stops and blinks, her voice emotional. “You sound like you think you’re bad for me.”

“I am.” I glance out the window and grind my molars, tightening my hold because this might just be the last time I hold her like this.

“You’re not. What you did for me in the rain is one of the nicest things anyone has done for me.”

“Fuck. Stop saying that; you’ve said that before and that pisses me off.”

“Why?”

“Because you should be inundated with people doing nice shit for you. To you.”

She smirks. “I don’t like them doing nice things to me, I like it when they’re a little bad. Like you.”

I laugh. “Yeah, you’re so drunk. You wanted to kill me just now. Then f*ck me. Now you want to canonize me?”

“Because you’re a bad boy, but a good man, and I’m in f*cking lov—”

I shut her up with my mouth because I can’t take it. I can’t take her sincerity, the thought that she might seem to have forgiven me now, but she won’t when I tell her what I do, is something I can’t take. It’s grown too big, the way I feel for her, the way I respect her, like her, admire her, the way I want her to be happy and the torment of knowing that every moment I’m with her, I could be putting her at risk. I can’t risk her. She has to know.

And Greyson King will have zero future with her.

? ? ?

SHE’S ASLEEP BY the time Derek brings her angry friend, who’s f*cking fuming as he loads her and Melanie’s suitcases into the trunk.

She slides into the car. “What the f*ck did you do to her?” Immediately she signals to Melanie’s neck. “She never takes off her precious necklace. It’s always under her shirt and today it was right on top of it. So, what did you do to her?”

For the first time I notice.

Melanie did take off my necklace.

There’s a roiling in my gut, a feeling like I’m sinking as I brush my fingers regretfully over her bare throat. I wanted her to use it, didn’t I? I wanted her to sell it.

It shouldn’t hurt like this, it shouldn’t even f*cking matter.

“I’m driving you two to a suite at a better and safer hotel,” I say in a cold, emotionless voice, low and keeping my eyes on Melanie. “I’d appreciate if you kept her company until I can return.”

“I’ll do it for her because it’s her birthday but not because you asked me to, *.”





TWENTY




* * *





CONFUSED


Melanie