Rock Bottom Girl(134)
“Amie Jo, I think a lot of women are in the same place you are, feeling the same things you’re feeling,” I told her.
“I drink a bottle of Chardonnay every night.” Zinnia’s confession was given like a balloon releasing its air.
“The highlight of my life was being crowned prom queen. It’s been all downhill from there,” Amie Jo responded.
“I’m really sorry about Homecoming,” I said, starting to grasp just how important that crown had been to her.
“I probably deserved it.”
“Maybe a little,” I agreed.
“You need to go beg Jake for forgiveness,” Amie Jo said, taking a swig from the bottle.
“Yeah, you do,” Zinnia agreed.
It was then that the branch broke with a splintering crack, and we were all falling.
80
Jake
I was not in the mood to entertain. Yet here I was, plating up Uncle Max’s bacon-wrapped scallops on a serving dish. The whole family was spread out in my house watching TV, puttering in the kitchen, setting the table in the dining room.
And I still felt completely alone.
Marley should be here. I felt her damn presence all over the damn house.
Not only was I being haunted by my grandmother, but now I had Marley’s ghost in the new dishes she’d helped me pick out. In the rearranged furniture in the living room. The new curtains. The lack of clutter and dust and old takeout containers.
She’d swept it all out, making Grams’s house mine. Ours. And now she wasn’t here. Our new beginning was already over.
I liked the anger. It felt better than the hurt that kept trying to bubble to the surface. She’d never even tried. She hadn’t returned my calls, my texts. She hadn’t shown up on my doorstep begging for forgiveness. None of it had been real to her. I felt used and discarded and stupid.
“You’re mangling the appetizers,” Uncle Lewis observed.
“Sorry,” I said, taking a deep breath and trying to gentle my grip on the scallops.
“I know we’re not supposed to talk about You Know Who or You Know What,” Uncle Lewis began.
I was already shaking my head. “I don’t want to talk about it,” I said for the nineteenth time.
“Do you love the guy? I mean the girl,” Lewis said. “Sorry, force of habit.”
I slammed the last scallop down on the plate. “I did.”
“Whoa, what’s with the past tense there, Grumpy Gus?” Max asked.
“I told her I loved her. I asked her to stay in Culpepper. And she dumped my ass. Reminded me we had a deal and that all this was only temporary. She wants more.”
“More what?” Lewis asked.
“That’s what I said! I refuse to be in love with a dumbass.”
Lewis and Max exchanged a glance.
The doorbell rang
I stomped to the front door and yanked it open. Marley stood on my welcome mat. She had a split lip and a butterfly bandage over one eyebrow. Her arm was in a sling.
“What the hell happened to you?” I demanded. I couldn’t stop the reflexive rush of concern, but I could hide it behind a bad temper.
“Fell out of a tree,” she said quickly. “But that’s not why I’m here.”
“You thought of a few other ways to destroy my confidence?”
Homer, the traitor, shoved his face between my leg and the door and wriggled his way out to Marley. She leaned down to pet him with her good arm.
“I came to tell you you were right,” she said, still looking at Homer.
“Great. Thanks. Happy to hear it,” I said dryly. I started to shut the door. She could keep my jerk of a dog. She already had my heart. Why not take my dog, too?
“Jake! Wait!” She slapped her good hand on the door. “I’m trying to apologize here.”
“Try kissing him!”
I poked my head out the door and spotted Zinnia and Amie Jo hanging out the back window of Ned Cicero’s car. Ned was in the driver’s seat and waved to me.
I waved back. “What the hell is going on?”
“I don’t want what I thought I wanted,” she said in a rush. “I want you and Culpepper and Homer. I want to teach gym and coach soccer. I want to sleep late with you on Sundays. I want to run a half-marathon and spend my summers road-tripping with you.”
Hope stirred in my chest, and I tried to squash it. But it was a slippery sucker. “I thought you wanted more,” I reminded her.
“There is no more than what I found with you. I was happy with you, and it scared me, Jake. I’ve spent my whole life trying to be good enough. And you come along and don’t even demand that I prove myself. You just love me as the hot mess that I am.”
“What about that job in Pittsburgh?” I asked.
Her eyes widened.
“Yeah, small town. Remember?” I said.
If they hadn’t made an offer and I was second fiddle…well, I’d take it, but I wouldn’t be happy about it.
Homer spotted the women hanging out of the car window and bolted off the porch to greet them. He dove in through the open window and settled himself on the passenger seat.
“I have a confession to make. You’re my second stop today,” she said with a small smile.