Ripped (Real, #5)(23)

Go for it. Seduce her stupid, Kenna.

I lean over in the hopes Noah can’t hear me, whispering close to her ear, “Obviously I passed on it for something better.”

“Really? You had a better offer?”

I reach up and trail my hand down the pink in her hair. “I’m hoping for one.”

“I don’t even like you.” She pushes my chest using the heels of her palms with great effort, and for a second I indulge her by taking a step back.

“But your mouth still likes mine, and I can’t even begin to describe how much I like yours—”

She slams the door in my face. I swear out loud and run a frustrated hand over the back of my idiot head. “Motherf*cker.”

Behind me, muffled laughter. “Crash and burn, Mackenna?” Noah taunts, camera trained on me.

Scowling, I flip him the bird. “Just watch. I’ll be practically living in that room right there.” I point to her door, then angrily stalk back to my suite, where the guys’ private party is raging full blast.

Everyone’s f*cking or doing blow or drinking, and I’m stone f*cking sober. One of the girls is bent over Lex. She signals to me that I’m next. Fuck that noise. I stomp into my bedroom, my entire brain filled with Pandora. Her stony little glare. The solid door in my face. Her * felt so goddamn tight in the closet, like she hadn’t had anyone in five f*cking years and I’m suddenly obsessed.

I should have closed the distance between us and crushed her mouth under mine, until neither of us remembered anything at all. My hands are restless at my sides. I push them through the buzz of my hair, run the water in the sink, and splash some onto my face.

I imagine her crawling up against the headboard, spreading her legs for me. She’d sigh out my name and I’d dip my tongue to taste the sweet honey between her thighs.

Fuck this shit. I’m not settling for less than what I want, and suddenly I want in that room like nobody’s business—and I know just how to get in there.

? ? ?

MINUTES LATER, I’M pounding on Leo’s door.

“What the f*ck, Kenna?” He swings the door open and motions at one of the girls to stay put in bed. Obviously entertaining him.

“Key,” I growl.

Leo’s eyes get glassy with cash signs; clearly I don’t need to say to which room.

He grins and nods. “Take her to your room so the cameras can get some of the heavy petting,” he instructs.

“Write Santa Claus a letter, see if he listens, Leo.”

My manager rolls his eyes, then goes to rummage through his stuff while the girl comes over, tying a robe around herself. “Hey, Kenna, looking good.”

Leo comes back with a key. “Try to throw the cameras a bone soon.”

“If I throw anything tonight it’ll be the ass of a cameraman out the tenth-floor window.”

I march down the hall and pop that f*cking door open. The lights are dim and the room is completely silent.

On the bed, Pandora is sprawled, facedown. My chest feels cramped as I take in her long legs, the soft, pale skin peeking out from under the T-shirt she wears. She’s out like the dead, her head tossed to the side, all that dark hair made for my fingers. Before I can think twice, I’ve shucked my clothes and climbed into bed with her. Just like old times. And the demons that have ridden me all night quiet down enough so I can relax against her. I pull her close to me.

She sighs in her sleep, her body seeking my warmth.

She fits me so right; she’s always fit me right, this girl.

We were both virgins once. You’d expect it to be awkward that first time, but it wasn’t. It felt like being swept up by a storm. Disheveled and destroyed inside on some level I never recovered from. When we were done, she was softly crying in my arms. I felt as unhinged as a building shaken to its foundations. I’d lost control, and so had she. I didn’t know what to do, what I’d done wrong, how to make it right.

I feel like that now.

Back then, I waited it out, wanting her to explain how she had all that emotion for me when she was usually a girl who displayed none. When she finally composed herself and wiped her tears, I kissed her and told her I loved her, and I asked her, “You love me, don’t you? Don’t you, Pandora?”

For the two years we dated, she never did say she did.

Yeah, I don’t think this girl can love anybody.

I don’t know why the memory slaps me now. It doesn’t bring the anger it usually does, or the sadness and frustration. I fell for a girl who would never love me back the way I wanted her to. Hell, I’m over wanting declarations of love. I’m over craving it. I’m over feeling the way she made me feel all those years ago.

But will I ever be over her?

I exhale.

She’ll probably punch my face when she sees me in bed with her in the morning. Blue balls and a purple eye, that’s what a guy who messes with this girl gets. But f*ck me if I care at all. That’s not really my problem.

My problem is I can never seem to find a way to get this girl to let me in.

I whisper in her ear, “I’m just going to hold you, all right? No funny business.”

I think she nods and whispers, “Okay.”

And though I’m not sure if she really did answer or it’s just my imagination, I slide my arm around her waist and hold her tight.