Right Man, Right Time (The Vancouver Agitators, #3)(118)

“Thought about it, have you?” Pacey asks. “Considering children with Ollie?”

“Oh fuck, no,” I say, shaking my head. “Neither of us is ready for that. She still has to graduate, and I know her job is really important to her, so she’ll put any sort of child thing on hold for a while. Plus, I don’t think I’m ready for that. I’m barely ready—mentally—for my relationship with Ollie. I mean, I’m getting there, and I think we’re solid, and I trust her, but a baby? I’m not mentally ready for that.”

“What does Ollie want to do when she graduates?” Holmes asks.

“Online contributor,” I answer. “She really enjoys discussing lifestyle-type things. When she graduates, she hopes to receive offers from a few places. Apparently, the guy she’s interning with has a lot of connections. It’s why she’s sticking around with him.”

“Is that going to take her away from Vancouver?” Holmes asks as he sets his butter knife down and then takes a bite of his bread.

“I sure as hell hope not. We talked about how we want to stay together, no matter what happens, and who knows, maybe by the time she graduates, things will be more intense between us.”

“Like wedding bells?” Pacey asks.

“I mean, I could see it happening,” I say, pulling on the back of my neck.

“Really?” Posey asks. “I feel like you’ve barely been together.”

“Is there a certain timeline that has to be followed to have that kind of thinking?” I ask him.

Posey shakes his head. “No, but I’m just surprised is all. You wouldn’t tell us what happened with Sarah, and now that you’re with Ollie, I just want to make sure you’re healed, you know? That you’re not jumping into something too quickly.”

“Where the hell is this coming from?” I ask him. “You’re the one who was helping me text her the other day.”

“Ah, so you admit that I was helping you.” Posey points his finger at me.

I pinch the bridge of my nose. “I really hate you. You realize that?”

“Dude, we’re about to have the best steak we’ve ever put in our mouths. Let’s not throw hate out there,” Pacey says. “And to hop on what Posey is saying, I think we just want to make sure you’re okay. We like Ollie, we’ve seen a change in your life since she’s been around, but you can’t fully give yourself to her until you’ve healed. We just want to make sure you’re there.”

“You all feel that way?” I ask.

I glance at Holmes, and he just nods.

“Hornsby, too,” Posey says. “We just care about you.”

“Well, I appreciate it,” I answer, not getting mad at them because how could I? If I were in their position, I’d probably be doing the same thing. “I wouldn’t say I’m one hundred percent, but I’m getting there.” I glance around the table and realize that maybe if I talk about it more, it will help me heal. Clearing my throat, I say, “I haven’t really said anything, but, uh . . . Sarah cheated on me. That’s why we broke up. I caught her with a woman and a man.” That last part stings, and I wait for my guys to react, but when I look up, all I see is compassion in their eyes.

“Shit, dude,” Pacey says. “I’m sorry.”

Holmes grips my shoulder and gives it a squeeze, not needing to say anything, just keeping it at that.

When I look up at Posey, he’s shifting his fork around on the table.

“What’s going on in your head?” I ask him.

When his eyes meet mine, he says, “This might not be what you want to hear, but . . . what a bitch. Does she realize she’ll never find another man with a Jacob’s ladder piercing? All I can think is big mistake . . . huge.”

What a fucking idiot, but it makes me laugh.

I grip my water and say, “I think you’re right, Posey.”

“I know I’m right. Not many men are man enough to get that done. She’ll regret it.”

“What thoughtful insight,” Pacey says with a hint of sarcasm. He then turns toward me and says, “How are you dealing with getting that off your chest?”

“Seems to get a touch easier every time I say it.” I lean in a little closer so I don’t have to project my voice. “I think I kept it in for so long because it was embarrassing. Like . . . I wasn’t man enough to keep Sarah happy, and she had to go somewhere else to find that happiness.”

“That’s not on you,” Holmes says. “That’s on her.”

“Was it, though?” I ask. “I know I tried a lot with her, but the season’s strain wore on us year after year. If I supported her, maybe she wouldn’t have strayed.”

“Dude, you were a good boyfriend to her,” Pacey says. “You put in the effort, she didn’t, and I’m not just saying that. I’d tell you the truth if I thought you were at fault. But you weren’t. What Holmes says is right. That was on her, not you.”

“And now she’ll regret it,” Posey says, tapping his nose and winking at me.

Sometimes I wonder why we’re friends with him.

“I think accepting that truth will take me a moment, as well as learning to trust again.”