Revolution (Collide, #4)(64)

"Do you want to…" I felt too bold. I needed to start trusting my own responses to things. I steeled myself and smiled a little. "Do you want to come lie down me?"

She nodded and looked relieved. "I don't want to be by myself."

"You don't ever have to be," I said softly and took my boldness one step further.

I moved forward to kiss the corner of the mouth. She corrected my course, as if it had been a mistake that I missed, and kissed me again right where I wanted her. It was sweet and a little desperate. This girl needed me tonight. We had no idea what the rest of our days were going to look like.

I helped us up and then took her to my tent. She snuggled right up against me, trusting, eager, willing. A small part of me that I had yet to explore of my human self felt a little smug. I smiled in the dark as I stared at the black ceiling. To feel chosen felt amazing. I had no idea what she saw in me, but for the first time, I was really happy that she did.

"Dude, Ryan!" I heard someone hiss and turned my head to find Calvin holding the flap of my tent open. He hissed again in an overly loud whisper. "You bagged Ellie! Finally!"

"Get out of here!" I whispered back. "And I didn't bag anyone…whatever that means."

"If you don't even know what it means, then how do you know you didn't do it?" he asked, his eyebrows jumping in suggestive manner.

"Calvin-" I started, but then Frank poked his head in as well.

"Shyeah!" he said excitedly. "Way to go, Ryan, my man."

"Get out, the both of you, before I jerk a knot in your behinds!"

"You don't even know what that means, do you?" Calvin taunted.

I jerked up and made like I was going to get up. They both took off like little cowards, hooting and carrying on as they ran. I groaned a little and then heard and felt Ellie's giggle. I looked down at her face on my shoulder and felt my breath stop. I'd heard it so many times over my many, many years; that expression men said to a woman about being beautiful in the morning. It was absolutely true.

"What are you laughing at, beautiful?" I heard myself say and my eyes went a little wide.

She smiled brightly. "You, defending my honor."

"It didn't need defending," I reminded her. "I was a gentleman."

"True, but they didn't know that." She was still smiling.

"So…tell me something about you." Her smile faltered. "You don't have to. I just wanted to know about you, your family, your life before all this."

Her eyes moved to my neck and stayed there. "I was a teacher. I was engaged. I had a big family. All of that was taken from me the day they showed up." I felt myself frown. "We were headed towards my engagement party. I was running late because I'd forgotten the wine that I knew my mom liked. She was a sweet lady, but she was a picky lady." She smiled, though her eyes began to fill. "One of those things was in the road and my family swerved to miss it. They all died…all at once. Except me. I've been alone ever since."

"Where's your Keeper?"

She gulped. "Never came," she whispered. "When I got here and heard all of your stories about the Specials and Keepers and about how you all came to save them, it made me wonder why my own Keeper never came for me. I thought maybe it was because he couldn't sense me, so he couldn't find me."

"No," I told her. "He or she watched you. He would have known where you were."

"Then why?" she said and I could see that this truly upset her.

"There's nothing that can keep a Keeper from their charge. Something must have happened to him on the way to you. An accident. He didn't abandon you, I promise."

She nodded. "That's good. I thought I was defective or something."

"You are anything but defective," I told her and kissed her forehead. It was getting easier by the minute to touch her and not feel like I was making her suffer some violation.

"Thank you," she said, "for letting me stay in here last night. I was a little unhinged."

"You're welcome," I whispered.

"I usually read before bed, to unwind, but last night it just wasn't working."

"I was reading last night, too," I told her.

She blinked in surprise. "You were?"

"Yeah. I …borrowed a copy of Last of the Mohicans from Mrs. Trudy's collection."

"Last of the Mohicans!" she laughed. "Well, that's a cheery little novel. No wonder you couldn’t sleep."

"What do you read?"

She grinned. "Stay right here." She got up swiftly and made a quick escape from my tent. When she returned, she was carrying a small book that was beaten and bruised. She smiled. "I borrowed a book from Mrs. Trudy, too." She showed me the cover. E.E. Cummings.

"What's it about?"

She sat by me and opened the book to a piece of receipt paper she was using as a bookmark. She flipped the pages and then turned to me. She moved my knee over so she could scoot between my legs and nestled into my chest with her back. She pointed with her finger as she read the lines.

I carry your heart with me (I carry it in my heart)

I am never without it

(anywhere I go you go, my dear; and whatever is done