Revolution (Collide, #4)(5)

“You’re leaving now?” Josh said. It was at that moment that we all noticed him. Like really noticed him. Josh was supposed to be dead. He sacrificed himself for Racine. He jolted at all of our silent stares on him and straightened his back. “That’s right. I told you already that I wasn’t Josh anymore. I’m Simon in here and this is my body now, so get used to it quickly so we can get to work."

I felt my jaw drop. It felt different with Simon. With Merrick when he explained being in Matt’s body, it was foreign, but not unpleasant. But with the cut of Josh’s death so fresh and there not even being any time to mourn him yet, it was too much. I turned and buried my face in Merrick’s neck, not wanting to see Simon wearing Josh’s face. I felt Merrick's head shake and an angry breath leave him.

Then Simon said as he glared at Merrick, "Have you forgotten the real reason we even came here?"

“Simon,” Racine growled, low and dangerous. “How could you?”

I jolted my eyes back to them. I looked at Merrick and saw him gritting his teeth. What for? I swung my gaze back to Josh…or, uh Simon…and waited. Racine continued as she made her way to him. “How could you!” she repeated louder. “Did you think about this for one second or did you just snatch the first body that was available and not give a thought to the consequences? What if I jumped in Cain’s body after he died and you had to face me every day?”

“I can help in this body where my old one couldn’t-”

“You’re wearing my charge’s body!” she shrieked and choked on a sob. “Did you not think what it would do to me to see my dead charge walking around, constantly being reminded of how I failed at the one thing I was put on this Earth to do?”

He blanched a little and I felt right about that. Shame on Simon for being so selfish and only thinking about himself.

“I didn’t think, no. I just reacted. I knew that I could do more good in a body that wasn't hindering me like the other one and-"

The crack of her hand across his cheek was loud. He looked at her blankly, as if he understood that he deserved it. “I hope that one day I can forgive you for this, Simon.”

“I hope that as well. I’m sorry, sister. This decision was for the good of all, and I sacrificed the good of the one. I’m sorry to have caused you pain.”

“I understand,” she said sincerely. She turned and took in the room. “Please try your hardest to call him Simon and not…Josh.” She gulped.

We nodded and she went to sit on the couch, burying her face in a wad of tissues. Could she not see that Josh sacrificed himself for her because he was fond of her? Because he cared about her? I for one was proud of him. Racine would grow to be one day, too.

"All right," Miguel drawled and stepped up to the front of the room beside Jeff. "We know they're coming. We need to buck up and push all this trivial crap to the side and figure out what to do."

"Yes," Jeff and Simon agreed in unison. Jeff scowled at Simon, but looked back to Miguel. "Outside perimeter?" he began his plotting and it seemed that Merrick and my reunion would just have to wait.

"Might as well," he agreed with a sigh. "No point in waiting down low. They know we're here." He grinned evilly. "May as well meet them and gain the upper hand. They don't know that we know they're coming."

Cain nodded and said, "Ok, let's pull the old 'women and children in the cellar' bit and get this thing started."

"Now hold on a minute!" Lillian said.

"Do not argue with me on this one, L," he growled. "Really? You almost died yesterday or may have even actually died and you want me to let you out there for another try at it? No."

She gulped and to my surprise, nodded. "All right."

He blinked his own surprise. "Ok, good." He slowly turned back to Jeff and Miguel. "Ambush style. Let's go."

"Sounds perfect," Miguel said and winked at Rylee, who growled at him, as he made his way to the kitchen. "I'll grab some grenades."

Cain and Lillian began their goodbyes and that started the flood for them all. I refused to look at Merrick. I'd just gotten him back minutes ago and now he was being put right back out there on the front lines again. It seemed childish to pretend that this wasn't about to go down, but I just couldn't force my chin to move his direction.

But he knew what I was doing and took my stubborn chin in his hand. My Merrick looked at me knowingly and gave me a sad, small smile. "I'm so sorry, honey. I wish…Well, you know what I wish."

"I wish that, too. It's ok. I'm used to the whole song and dance by now." His smile grew. "You go fight while I stay and pine for you like the lovesick puppy that I am."

"That sounds great actually."

"It sounds like crap," I argued making him laugh out loud. He framed my stupid little useless wet cheeks in his hands and I tried to steady my quivering lip.

"I love you more than I can ever get to you to understand, and I'm sorry that we can't have our little reunion right now." He reached forward and bit my bottom lip gently. He made a growly noise in his throat. "Mmm, I'd love nothing more than to drag you to our room right now…caveman style." I laughed. That was totally something Cain would say. "But I'll have to settle for this until later."