Revolution (Collide, #4)(15)

“Then don’t think about it, Merrick,” I coaxed and pulled his shirt over his head, too. “Just don’t think at all.”

He took my mouth deliciously before rolling us and placing me under him so I could feel his weight, the heaviness that I never thought I'd feel again.

This wasn’t sex. This wasn’t just making love either. This was about being as close as humanly possible. Not only was he careful and slow as if we had all day and night, but he was hungry yet sated in a way that I’d never seen before. One second he was a gentle starving man, the next he was a happy and serene guy with touches more gentle than I thought possible to still feel them.

After some hours - hours! - and lips tender from kisses, we lay akimbo on the mat, both breathing deeply and soundly. We listened to each other’s breathing for a long time, switching positions and repositioning. Both of our sighs were telling of the inability to sleep for some reason. It wasn't that I wasn't comfortable or happy or…sated. I just couldn't turn my brain off. Eventually, after I’d rested on Merrick’s chest for a while and neither of us had gone to sleep yet, Merrick sat up with us. “Put your clothes on, honey,” he urged.

I looked at him blankly in the dark and he helped me put my shirt and jeans on. Then he took my hand and led me into the dimly lit hall. It only took a second to realize where he was going. When he slipped into Lily’s door I smiled at the big sap.

He pulled me down with Lily in the middle of us and we both wrapped our arms around her. She stirred. "Daddy?"

"Right here, Lily bug."

“Daddy, you’re hogging the blanket.”

We chuckled, but I soon heard Merrick’s sigh as Lily wrapped her little arms around my neck. I pressed as close as I could get, Merrick’s arm squeezing my waist gently as I was encumbered with warmth and love.

Finally. We all slept as a family. One big, happy, glorious, special, unconventional, beautiful family.

"Oatmeal, bug. We don't know when we'll eat again. It might be a while until we get there," I urged her. I was packing up food in the kitchen and had Calvin and Franklin getting the food from the one pantry with food in it. I looked around the room. Mrs. Trudy's handmade apron that I still wore sometimes was hanging there by the fridge. My engraved wooden spoon that Danny made for me, that table that held good and bad memories.

Phillip being flipped over the top by Jeff, Merrick and my morning after breakfast, getting to know Marissa, Lily eating her noodles… So many dinners and discussions. So many things that would be so hard to forget.

I shook my head and turned my necklace charm in my fingers. It was warm to the touch as if telling me something, a signal maybe. That everything would be ok and that everything happened for a reason.

I took the two canvas bags I had and placed them by the stairs. Everyone was bustling about through the commons room and hallway. I watched Max as he perused the bookshelf. He looked sad on a whole new level. I understood. Trudy had been his charge and now we were leaving the only thing he had left of her. He made his way to the old record player and ran his finger down the length of it.

I went to his side and picked up the Etta James album we’d played over and over again. I put it on the turntable and let her loud croon distract me for a few seconds. Everyone else stopped, too, bracing themselves on the walls and stairs. We just listened and it seemed that though our lives were splitting at the seams, there was hope on the horizon.

I laid my head on Max's shoulder and felt a loud sigh go through him as At Last played.


I found a dream that I could speak to

A dream that I can call my own

I found a thrill to rest my cheek to

A thrill that I have never known

And you smile, you smile

Oh, and then the spell was cast

And here we are in heaven

For you are mine at last.

"I miss her, too," I told him. "I miss her a lot."

"But once we leave this place, she'll be gone for good," he mused and looked around. "At least here, I was surrounded by her things. When we leave this place, it's like my failure of keeping her safe will be unbearable."

"Max, what was her task?"

"I…I don't know," he stuttered. "Why?"

"How do you know her task wasn't to stab and distract the Taker?"

"I would have felt…" His brow bunched. "I mean my conscience was buzzing, but that was because she was in danger."

"Maybe," I mused back. "Either way, you and I both know that you didn't stop Mrs. Trudy from doing anything that she wanted to do."

His lips twisted. "I know. I just wish things would have been different."

"Don't. We. All." I gave him an awkward sideways hug as Witchy Woman by The Eagles began to blare out of the speakers. I looked over to see Danny wink and give a cheesy thumbs-up. I sighed and pushed his arm with annoyance playfully.

I went to finish up the packing, but stopped with a thought. "What are we going to do about Piper?"

Everyone stopped once again like my voice had some siren qualities. Max just looked straight ahead and eventually said, "Doesn’t matter. We leave her here."

"Ok," I answered carefully. Everyone got back to work and in my book that was as good as agreeing. I had beef with Piper, but the Keepers had major drama. They were the ones who needed to decide whether Psycho Barbie got a get outta jail free card.