Reveal (Wicked Ways #2)(50)

I shove my chair back and begin to pace whatever part of the room that I can.

“Ms. Sanders. Now, I assure you my comment was in gest, but it does lead one to question what was going on at your—”

“Nothing! Nothing was going on. My friend—who’s gay—invited me to a charity event for the Down Syndrome Advocacy Foundation. His name is Archer Collins. Feel free to look him up and accuse him of buying sex in my house. He’ll sue you faster than you can look up his net worth, and you’ll be laughed out of your job. The man I’m dating stopped by for a bit to wait for me afterward, but I wasn’t home. His name is Ryker Lockhart. I’m sure you can Google him and see he’s not exactly a man who has to pay for sex. Lawyers aren’t in the habit of breaking the law. My babysitter is just that—a babysitter. He stayed late and left when I got home. And . . . the last person?” I scramble for an answer that stays as far away from the senator as possible but won’t make her worried for Lucy. “He was a coworker from Apropos—you know, the club where I work. A group of people were going out partying—hence the limo, to avoid drinking and driving—and they stopped by to see if I wanted to go with them. Are you happy now? No sex. No drugs. But sometimes there’s a little bit of rock and roll.”

My hands are pressed against the table, my body leaning forward so she has no choice but to see the gravity and anger heavy in my expression.

“Thank you for the explanation”—she clears her throat—“but I can’t exactly take your words at face value.”

You’re a miserable human being, I want to scream at her, so frustrated with the unwavering stick up her ass.

“And why would you decide to attend an event on the one night you have Lucy stay over if being with her is so important to you?” she asks.

“Because life happens is why,” I say. “Because I can’t exactly change the night of a charity function that in fact benefits her in some way. We spent the entire day together, hours on end. Painting and bike riding and therapy and snuggle time. I left for the function about an hour before her bedtime, and I left her with someone she knows and I trust. Feel free to come at me about being irresponsible, but I assure you not having that night with her would have been even more so, because she needs predictability. A missed or moved day throws her off for some time. You know, kind of like me not getting to see her today will.”

She purses her lips and squares her papers again, even though they are still perfectly aligned. Anything to abate the unease my explanations are bringing her.

“Did you ever think that it could possibly be Brian who reported this anonymously? He’s the only person who has anything to gain by trying to paint me in a bad light. Hell, he was probably lighting up down the block, half-high, while he was being a Peeping Tom.”

I walk back to the conference table and grab my purse so aggressively she jumps with a yelp.

“The next time I go to see Lucy, this better be cleared up so that I’m not given any trouble. My file better not have a hint of any of this in there either. Remember that man I’m dating? I wasn’t lying when I said he’s a lawyer. Try to taint my image in this adoption process to prevent me from getting Lucy, and I’ll be certain to have it cost you your job.”

Without another word or waiting for her to close her mouth, I stalk out of the conference room with my body shaking from anger and tears of fury burning my eyes.

And when I push open the doors to the outside and the fresh air hits my face, I keep walking. Down the street, block after block, and only when my lungs feel like they are burning can I actually breathe again.

I take huge gulping gasps of air and wonder if I just fucked things up for myself or improved them.

My anger is focused on everything and everyone.

At Carter Preston, because who knows if he had anything to do with this interesting scenario, and even if he didn’t, I still hate him anyway. And if he did have something to do with it, then I could be caught in the lie I just told, saying he was a coworker.

At Brian, because he would have the most to gain out of all this. But if it was him, what a dumb move on his part, because couldn’t I just do the same thing to him in the hopes that I’d catch him using and report him for that?

At Joey, because he’s the only person who really saw all these people at my house. Was he questioned about the two people vying to be Lucy’s guardians? And if so, did he say something that made Priscilla question everything? Or is he at risk of getting in trouble at his job because he was babysitting for me when he probably isn’t supposed to be?

At Ryker, because I keep trying to forgive and forget, but each time I feel like I might be able to get to that point, something that is a ripple effect from that night comes up and slaps me in the face.

And more than anything, I’m furious at myself.

Sure, I entered into this with the endgame—adopting Lucy—in mind, but what in the hell was I doing thinking I could run an escort business and not get caught? What was I doing in there threatening Priscilla’s job by siccing Ryker on her, let alone telling her that a man like him would never pay for sex?

Lies.

Everything is lies, and I feel like I’ve spun so many of them that I can’t keep straight who I’ve told what to.

At some point these lies will intersect like the crosshairs on a target. All I can hope is that I’m not standing there when they do.