Reveal (Wicked Ways #2)(25)

But she came to me.

She’s waiting for me.

While it feels like a victory, I know with Vaughn there’s always so much more than meets the eye, so I’ll let her take this on her terms.

I’m the one who fucked up.

I’m the one who risked this all.

“Long night, huh?” It’s all I say.





CHAPTER TEN

Vaughn

“I keep asking myself how I can be with a man who so blatantly disrespected me. How can I crave your touch? How can I look at you and hate you for what you did and still want you?”

Ryker stands in the hallway to his penthouse—tie loose and draped around his collar, shirt unbuttoned at his neck, cuffs undone—and just stares at me. His eyes are dark and stoic, his lips unmoving as he remains silent.

“Everything you said tonight was perfect, Ryker. Everything. It fit the cause. It will raise money. It . . .” I shrug, unsure how to phrase what it is I want to say.

“I didn’t say it to win you back.” His voice is full of gravel when he speaks, its deep tone resonating off the walls and echoing throughout me when I don’t want it to. “I said it because it was true.”

“Why?” It’s one word, one question, and it could mean so many things. I’m curious which one thing he’ll think it’s referring to.

“There’s no right answer to that question. I was wrong, Vaughn. The senator wanted to talk, he said he had some dirt on you, and I walked easily into whatever game he was playing. No excuses. No bullshit.” He takes a step toward me but doesn’t reach out to touch. “I’m a man so used to thinking only about myself. The next client. The next high I can get in court. The next person I can turn to my advantage. It’s not a flattering fact, but it’s the truth.”

“We all have unflattering facts.”

“Yeah, but . . .” There’s an unexpected uncertainty in Ryker right now. A vulnerability I’m not used to seeing. That softer side he spoke about earlier. “I’m not good at this, Vaughn—the baring my soul shit. It’s not me.”

“No one asked you to.”

His laugh is soft and self-deprecating and punctuated by a subtle shake of his head. “I know you didn’t ask me to, but if I don’t tell you . . . I risk losing you. The past few weeks have been total shit, so I’d prefer not to repeat it.”

I smile. It’s slight and soft, but it feels good to know this has affected him too.

He takes another step forward, as if each step of his and my lack of retreating is his way to ask if he can continue.

“You got to me, Vaughn. You got to me when I told myself I didn’t believe in relationships or women or the idea of wanting more. We may have fought each other most of the way to this point, but hell if you haven’t reached into my chest and grabbed hold of my cold heart.”

“It’s not that cold.” I make the first move and reach out and rest my hand over his heart. He gazes down at it, almost as if he’s surprised. When he looks back up, there’s a genuine smile on his lips that would melt my own heart if his words tonight and his actions right now hadn’t already done just that.

“I’m not going to ask you for your forgiveness again, Vaughn. I’m just hoping in time you’ll be able to give it to me and that maybe . . . maybe we can move on from here and see wherever this takes us.”

He reaches out and cups the side of my cheek. It takes everything I have not to close my eyes and turn into it. Not to kiss his palm. Not to kiss him.

“You asked how you can want to be with me when I blatantly disrespected you. I did a lot more than just that. I hurt you. I used you. I—”

“You better watch out, Ryker. If you keep pointing out the bad, I might not want to proceed with the good,” I tease.

“I don’t know the answer to your question. What I do know is that there’s something about us that works. It’s your stubbornness and my persistence. It’s your drive and my determination. It’s us both allowing each other to be who we are without shame or trying to change one another. We just work—defined or not.”

I give in to the temptation. I shut out the warring thoughts in my mind that I forced myself to leave outside when I walked in here to wait for him. I rise on my tiptoes, lean in, and brush my lips ever so softly against his.

And when I lower myself off my toes, I keep my eyes closed as Ryker presses his lips to my forehead. We just stand here like this outside his front door, my hand still resting atop his heart.

“I was wrong.” His lips move against my forehead, the heat of his breath warming my scalp. “There’s a reason why I did what I did. It’s not a good one. It doesn’t validate or justify, and none of these words will take away the hurt I caused. I was—”

I break off his words with another kiss. This time it’s more than tender. I slip my tongue between his lips and slide my hands up the side of his neck so I can thread my fingers through his hair, and I just take.

What I want.

What is mine.

What I’m suddenly afraid to lose.

The kiss is loaded with greed and angst and heartbreak and apology.

“Vaughn,” he murmurs against my lips as he tries to speak. “I need to explain—”

“Later. You can explain later. Right now, I need you, Ryker,” I say and allow myself to give in to everything I’ve been resisting. “I need you.”