Reveal (Wicked Ways #2)(10)

“You mean to throw your sarcasm and words that I thought meant something in my face?”

“I tried. Fuck, I tried.” He rolls his shoulders as if he has to refocus, and when he looks back at me, I try to ignore the emotion swimming in his eyes. “He’s determined to get whatever blackmail material you have on him. He’s willing to do whatever it takes to make you return it. What do you have?”

The pictures come to mind. The call logs come second. They’re currently in safekeeping, my PI and I still unable to decipher their meaning. We don’t totally know why the mix of phone numbers and dates are a threat to the senator—we just know they are.

None of it makes sense, and yet all of it makes sense at the same time.

“So you sold me out to save me?” I laugh, but it doesn’t hold an ounce of amusement.

“I tried to act like I was in the same boat as him. Wanting you for sex. Worried about the dirt you had on me. Wanting him to give me what he had on you so we could use it against you if need be.”

“And that’s supposed to make me feel better?”

“No. Yes. Fuck, Vaughn, at the time I was doing what I thought was best and—”

“And all the while making sure to document that your client’s soon to be ex-husband was willing to sleep with an escort to help your case,” I impart.

“Fucking hell.” He scrubs his hand over his face.

Tears slide down my cheeks as hurt all but radiates in my chest. “Stop trying to turn this on me, Ryker. Stop trying to tell me that you said and did all this for my benefit when you already laid it out that it would benefit your divorce filing.”

“You’re so fucking stubborn—you’re not listening to me!” he shouts.

“You’re right! I don’t want to listen. I’ve already heard enough. About how you’d pay my fee for him. How you’d never change for me.” And I hate that saying these things out loud with him in front of me makes them a little less believable.

But I know it’s so much more than just the words he said—it’s the trust I gave him that he betrayed. It’s the fact that I told him more about myself than I’ve ever told anyone. I opened up to him about my fears, my past, my will to never allow anyone to have power over me again . . . and he disregarded every single one of those things in his conversation with Carter.

“Vaughn.” His tone begs me to hear him when all I really want to do is just shut him out. “Does any of that sound like something I would say coming on the heels of what we did the night before? Hell, just an hour before?”

“You’re the one who said them.”

“I did. And then I called and texted and got here as soon as I could to explain everything to you, but you wouldn’t listen,” he says as I glare at him.

“Please, just go.”

“I made a mistake, Vaughn. The bastard threatened you, and the words just came out. All I could think about was finding out what he had on you. All I wanted was to nail his ass to a goddamn wall by using his willingness to sleep with you so I’d have some leverage over him. I knew no one was listening, and—”

“But I was listening! You would’ve never known if I hadn’t walked in. Do you know what you were risking for me? What if someone had put two and two together, and the social worker found out somehow, and Lucy—”

“But it didn’t. It didn’t!” he shouts back for the first time, and I can tell he’s getting frustrated with me. But he has no idea how it feels on my side of this.

My chest burns with hurt. With the urge to give in because I still love him and the need not to for my own pride.

And then the reality hits me.

I’m lying. Even if he had given me the “hang loose” sign, it still wouldn’t negate the things he said. The truths he confirmed. The way he made me feel. The information he tried to gain.

Nothing could ever validate or justify or anything what he said.

“You disrespected me, Ryker. You used me when you’re the one who is supposed to stand up for me. You used me for your own gain—”

“I told you I was trying to—”

“Better whatever situation you have with your client, I know. You’ve said it enough times.” I pause as I swallow over the lump forming in my throat. “For that I can’t forgive you.”

He opens his mouth and shuts it as his expression falls. “And what about for trying to protect you?” His voice breaks, and I hate that every part of me wants to crumble at the sound.

“The last I checked, destroying someone and protecting someone aren’t the same thing.” For the first time in this conversation, my voice lacks all emotion, because I see it now. I know it now.

His shoulders visibly sag, and for a beat there’s defeat in his posture, but just as quickly as it came, it goes. “So what does that mean?” He strides across the room and puts his hands on my arms, the connection, his nearness, the somberness in his eyes all but breaking me.

And it takes a second for me to find my bearings again. It takes a moment for the hurt to subside long enough so my reason can reign.

I take a step back to create some of the distance that he’s clouding. “I’m sorry, Ryker, but Wicked Ways is no longer allowing you to use their services. Your access has been revoked.”