Restore Me (Shatter Me #4)(65)



Envy.

Resentment.

My abilities have always been a curse—a source of endless pain and conflict. Everything about me is designed to kill and destroy and it’s a reality I’ve never been able to fully accept. “Must be nice,” I say.

She turns away again, smiling into the wind. “The best part?” she says. “Is that I can also do this—”

Nazeera goes suddenly invisible.

I jerk back sharply.

And then she’s back, beaming. “Isn’t it great?” she says, eyes glittering with excitement. “I’ve never been able to share this with anyone before.”

“Uh . . . yeah.” I laugh but it sounds fake, too high. “Very cool.” And then, more quietly, “Kenji is going to be pissed.”

Nazeera stops smiling. “What does he have to do with anything?”

“Well—” I nod in her general direction. “I mean, what you just did? That’s Kenji’s thing. And he’s not good at sharing the spotlight, generally.”

“I didn’t know there could be someone else with the same power,” she says, visibly heartbroken. “How is that possible?”

“I don’t know,” I say, and I feel a sudden urge to laugh. She’s so determined to dislike Kenji that I’m starting to wonder why. And then I’m reminded, all at once, of today’s horrible revelations, and the smile is wiped off my face. “So,” I say quickly, “should we get back to base? I still have a ton of things to figure out, including how I’m going to deal with this stupid symposium tomorrow. I don’t know if I should bail or just—”

“Don’t bail.” Nazeera cuts me off. “If you bail they might think you know something. Don’t show your hand,” she says. “Not yet. Just go through the motions until you get your own plan together.”

I stare at her. Study her. Finally, I say, “Okay.”

“And once you decide what you want to do, let me know. I can always help evacuate people. Hold down the fort. Fight. Whatever. Just say the word.”

“What—?” I frown. “Evacuate people? What are you talking about?”

She smiles as she shakes her head. “Girl, you still don’t get it, do you? Why do you think we’re here? The Reestablishment is planning on destroying Sector 45.” She stares at me. “And that includes everyone in it.”





WARNER





I never make it downstairs.

I’ve hardly had a second to put my shirt on straight when I hear someone banging on my door.

“I’m really sorry, bro,” I hear Kenji shout, “she wouldn’t listen to me—”

And then,

“Open the door, Warner. I promise this will only hurt a little.”

Her voice is the same as it’s always been. Smooth. Deceptively soft. Always a little rough around the edges.

“Lena,” I say. “How nice to hear from you again.”

“Open the door, asshole.”

“You never did hold back with the flattery.”

“I said open the door—”

Very carefully, I do.

And then I close my eyes.

Lena slaps me across the face so hard I feel it ring in my ears. Kenji screams, but only briefly, and I take a steadying breath. I look up at her without lifting my head. “Are you done?”

Her eyes go wide, enraged and offended, and I realize I’ve already pushed her too far. She swings without thinking, and even so, it’s a punch perfectly executed. On impact she’d break, at the very least, my nose, but I can no longer entertain her daydreams of causing me physical harm. My reflexes are faster than hers—they always have been—and I catch her wrist just moments before impact. Her arm vibrates from the intensity of the unspent energy and she jerks back, shrieking as she breaks free.

“You son of a bitch,” she says, breathing hard.

“I can’t let you punch me in the face, Lena.”

“I would do worse to you.”

“And yet you wonder why things didn’t work out between us.”

“Always so cold,” she says, and something in her voice breaks as she says it. “Always so cruel.”

I rub the back of my head and smile, unhappily, at the wall. “Why have you come up to my room? Why engage me privately? You know I have little left to say to you.”

“You never said anything to me,” she suddenly screams. “Two years,” she says, her chest heaving, “two years and you left a message with my mother telling her to let me know our relationship was over—”

“You weren’t home,” I say, squeezing my eyes shut. “I thought it more efficient—”

“You are a monster—”

“Yes,” I say. “Yes, I am. I wish you’d forget about me.”

Her eyes go glassy in an instant, heavy with unspent tears. I feel guilty for feeling nothing. I can only stare back at her, too tired to fight. Too busy nursing my own wounds.

Her voice is both angry and sad when she says, “Where’s your new girlfriend? I’m dying to meet her.”

At this, I look away again, my own heart breaking in my chest. “You should go get settled,” I say. “Nazeera and Haider are here, too, somewhere. I’m sure you’ll all have plenty to talk about.”

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