Repeat(20)

“Pretty sure that’s what you said last time.”

“Guess Shannon was right. There were fundamental problems in my and Ed’s relationship.”

“The chick from the tattoo parlor?”

“Yeah.” I rip the crust off one of the pieces of bread and tear it into little pieces. Heartache deserves chocolate cake. Not Swiss, turkey, and lettuce on rye. “She’s the receptionist. Apparently we were close.”

“Makes me feel like a crappy sister for not knowing all your friends from back then.” A trace of a scowl hardens her eyes. “Thought you said she gave you bad vibes.”

I raise a shoulder. “Everyone gives me bad vibes. My head is a catastrophe. I can’t even trust myself, so how can I trust anyone else?”

“Huh.”

“Don’t you think that was a dick move on his part, though? Taking a woman to my favorite restaurant?”

Frances just shrugs. “They do have really good cannoli. Met you there for your birthday last year. Much as I don’t like to defend Ed, once you’ve found a place like that, it’s tough to give it up.”

I scowl. Desserts shouldn’t come before sibling loyalty. Not when matters of the heart are at stake.

“What are you doing with your day, apart from hating on Ed Larsen?” she asks.

“I’m not hating on him. I’m just openly expressing disappointment in his life choices.”

“Got it.”

“Why do I have to deal with the fallout from a relationship I don’t even remember being a part of?”

“Just plain dumb luck, I guess.”

“It’s not fair. And I don’t want to be attracted to him either. It’s inconvenient.”

Frances laughs. “No time for romance in your planner?”

“Hardly. What do I even have to plan? When to clean the toilet next? My life sucks.”

“Things will get better,” she says. “Give it time. You’re recovering from a serious injury.”

“I know.” I sigh all the sighs. “Maybe he’s not inconvenient so much as he is extremely confusing.”

She nods. “I can see that. You are, after all, a born-again virgin.”

“True.”

“You’re also quite bitchy and whiny today. Did you want to get out and do something this afternoon or not? I’m feeling you could use the distraction.”

“Don’t you have stuff to do?” I pick up the sandwich, give it a long hard look, and put it back down. My stomach just isn’t interested. It’s probably evening out the pack of Oreos I comfort ate last night. “Shouldn’t you be out spending time with your friends or maybe getting laid? One of us should have something resembling a fully functioning existence. I feel like me and my problems chew up all of your time.”

As usual, Frances remains nonplussed by my outburst. “This again? Clem, when Mom was sick, you just dropped everything to look after her.”

“Huh.”

My sister stretches her neck, first to one side, then the other. “I was adjusting to a new job and dealing with a marriage that was falling apart at a startling rate. You didn’t bitch about having to be the person to put your life on hold and move back home to look after Mom. You just did it. I always admired you for that.”

“Okay.”

“Basically, what I’m saying is, let me be here for you now.”

“All right. Though it feels weird inheriting all this baggage, both the good stuff I did and the bad.” I shrug. “Thanks.”

“No problem.” She flashes me a brief smile. “What’s the next step in figuring out the contents of your head/getting a life type plans?”

I push my plate away, brushing off my hands. “We should get a dog. If we had a dog, he or she could eat this sandwich.”

“We’re not getting a dog. Focus, please.”

“Fine.” I sigh. “Some of the books have a stamp on the inside cover from a secondhand bookstore. I’d like to check the place out.”

“Still seeing if anything is familiar?” she asks. “Makes sense. And let me guess, this place is downtown.”

I just smile. Or maybe it’s a wince.



*



Braun’s Books is a couple of blocks away from Ed’s shop. In a city of over sixty-thousand people, however, surely I can go a day without running into him. Surely. Frances drives us in. It’s another sister-outing type thing, which is nice.

Behind the counter is a woman with long white and gray hair tied back into a braid. At the sight of me, her whole face lights up. “Well, about time! Where on earth have you been? I was getting worried about you.”

Apparently we have the sort of relationship where hugging is required. Before I know what’s going on, she’s out from behind the counter and squeezing me tight. I stand there mildly stunned while Frances watches in amusement.

“Got a couple of things put aside for you,” the woman says, rushing back to her counter. “Including a beaten-up but original copy of The Flower and The Flame. Awesome, right? I knew you wouldn’t care if it had a little wear and tear. You’re lucky I didn’t decide to keep it for myself. New Alyssa Cole came in last week too and I knew you’d be all over that.”