Reluctantly Yours(101)



I do see the buyers from Bloomingdales and Bergdorf’s. I watch anxiously as they point at the model walking by, then furiously write something down on their notepads, eyeing each other suspiciously before turning back to watch the next model advance. While I have always enjoyed designing custom pieces, and I have for some friends and social acquaintances, I love the idea of my gowns being available to the masses to shop in department stores and bridal boutiques across the country.

Speaking of being across the country, I’d hoped Alec would fly in yesterday and spend this exciting day with me, but he was sure he’d be in the way and I’d be busy with the show and the other events going on at the bridal convention. I’m straining to look for him when I realize that the show is nearing the end. Jocelyn, the model that I stitched into her dress, is the last one ahead of me. It is a bit funny to realize that the months and months of hard work have been for this two minute and twenty-six second show.

When Jocelyn makes her way back down the runway, the parade of models goes out again, and this time I follow. The audience is on their feet. At the sound of their applause, a wave of emotion hits me. It’s beyond thrilling to be following models down the runway that are wearing my designs. I nervously tuck a strand of my shoulder length hair behind my ear and step out into the lights. My gown might be a tad much for my neutral makeup and casual hair, but the gorgeous vintage gown fits like a glove and gives me a boost of confidence as I attempt to stay upright on this shiny stage.

The audience applause is deafening and the lights are blinding but more than that, it’s hard to take it all in while I’m scanning again to see if Alec is here. I smile and wave, noticing other familiar faces. My mom and dad weren’t able to make it, their work schedules too busy, but my cousin Barrett and his fiancé, Chloe, wave and cheer from the front row. That’s when I see it. My stomach drops. I had been wrong. There is one empty seat in the audience. The one I had reserved for Alec.

I smile through the let-down, hoping he was just late and watching from the back. After all the law firm events and corporate dinners I’ve attended with him, I was certain that this moment he would show up for me, so I’m trying not to lose faith.

The models finish their lap around the runway and I give a final wave and blow a kiss to the still cheering audience before disappearing back stage. My heart beating with excitement, I watch the models embrace each other, smiling and laughing. I take a breath trying to calm down from the adrenaline rush of it all.

I want to focus on the moment, soak it all in, but I’d been sure that Alec would show and there’s nothing I can do to fight off the wave of disappointment. There’s a heavy feeling in my gut as I rummage through my purse and pull out my phone. There’s one missed call and one voicemail. I immediately hit play and hold the phone to my ear.

“Hey Em, listen I’m sorry I’m not going to make it tonight. I got caught up at work again. I missed my flight and wasn’t able to reschedule until tomorrow but at that point it’ll be too late. I know I said I’d be there but…,” he trails off for a moment, and I let the familiar pang of disappointment settle in my gut. If I’m being honest, it’s a feeling that I’ve gotten used to over the years, a sharpness that has quieted to a dull ache. “Shit,” he starts again, “this is hard and I didn’t want to do it over the phone. I know it’s your big night with the show and all but honestly, I think we’re on two different paths. You’ve been supportive with my career but I’m not able to give that back to you. I have to focus on me right now. I know you’re expecting a proposal any day now, and the more I thought about it the more I knew it wasn’t right. We’re not right. I’m not in love with you anymore, Em.” His pause allows me to take in a shuddering breath. The chatter and laughter around me are a stark contrast to the ominous silence on the phone line. “Maybe I never was. I don’t know. That’s shitty. I’m sorry. Maybe I need more time. I don’t know. I’ll be in San Francisco next week, and I think it would be best if you move out while I’m gone. I’m sorry, Em. Oh, and happy birthday.”

The voicemail ends and I drop the phone from my ear. The juxtaposition of the smiling, celebratory faces that surround me and the news that Alec just delivered make me feel off balance. I’m stunned. Shocked. Someone thrusts a champagne glass into my hand and clinks it with their own.

“Cheers! You killed it!”

“Emma,” Maggie from my sales team rushes to my side, “I’ve got a proposal from Bergdorf’s. They want exclusive and when Bloomingdales got wind of it, they up’d their offer. We’re in a bidding war! Isn’t that amazing?!”

“Wow.” Is all I can say because I’m still processing the voicemail from Alec.

Everyone from the models to the hair and makeup teams to the fashion show production staff and my team at Emma Belle Bridal are gather around me.

“Tonight was a wild success and we couldn’t have done it without our fearless leader, Emma.” Leo, my production assistant, raises his glass. “Your designs are officially out in the wild now, and we all know that with every thoughtful stitch, your exquisitely designed gowns will make every bride feel like a queen on her wedding day.”

“Cheers to Emma Belle Bridal!” Everyone shouts.

Leo hushes everyone with his hands. “And, even with all this excitement, we didn’t forget that today is another special day.”

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