Reluctantly Home(83)

‘You know, don’t you, Philippa Rose, that there is nothing stopping you from going back to your life?’

She hadn’t wanted to say it, and now, as she heard the words coming out of her mouth, she almost wished she hadn’t. She loved the time she and Pip spent together and had come to rely on her company more than she would care to admit. But still, it needed to be said, and if she was to consider herself a true friend to the girl then she had to be honest.

Pip didn’t seem to have caught what she said or had missed her meaning. Either way, she eyed Evelyn quizzically.

‘To London,’ Evelyn clarified. ‘You should really be thinking about going back to London. I know you love your job so you must be missing it, and I’m certain they will be missing you. And London is where you’re meant to be. It’s lovely that you have been back here and that you’ve managed to reconcile all your old prejudices about the place, but now it’s time you were getting back to your real life.’

Pip didn’t speak for a long while. Instead she cupped the mug of cocoa and stared out at the street beyond the window. It was almost midsummer and the evening sky still held the last of the sun’s rays. Evelyn waited. If she had learned anything in her seventy years on the planet, it was the importance of timing.

Eventually, Pip returned her focus to the room.

‘I can’t,’ she said.

Evelyn said nothing, the obvious question hanging in the air between them. There was no need to ask. Pip would explain, given time.

‘I’m scared,’ she said, after a few more moments.

‘Of what?’ asked Evelyn.

‘Oh, I don’t know,’ said Pip. ‘Just everything. I’m scared that I won’t be able to work without cracking up again. I’m scared that there won’t be any work for me and my career is ruined. I’m scared that I have nowhere to live, and now that I’m single I will have no friends and no social life. I’m scared of driving. I’m scared of not driving. I’m scared that I won’t be able to cope and will have to come back home. I don’t think I could bear to have to do this again.’

‘And you’re going to let all that stop you from being where you’re supposed to be?’ Evelyn asked.

Pip shrugged. ‘But where am I meant to be?’ she said. ‘I’m not even sure about that any more.’

Evelyn raised an eyebrow. The question required no further reply.

They sat in silence for a while, listening to the seagulls calling to one another.

‘I always think,’ said Evelyn, ‘that the best way to eat an elephant is one bite at a time.’

Pip looked at her and grinned. ‘And precisely how many elephants have you eaten?’

‘Oh, you’d be surprised,’ Evelyn replied.

‘And what about you?’ Pip asked. ‘You’re going to have this place looking tip-top pretty soon. You’ll need a new project.’

‘I thought I might check out the local theatre,’ said Evelyn, surprising herself as this was the first time the thought had crossed her mind. ‘They’re bound to need volunteers to help with front of house and what have you.’

‘But don’t you want to be on the stage?’ said Pip. ‘In the spotlight?’

Evelyn thought she was probably right, but she didn’t want to run before she could walk, and it had been a very long time. She wasn’t even sure she could learn lines any more.

‘Let’s just start with selling programmes,’ she said, ‘and see where we get to.’

‘I think that’s a great idea, though,’ said Pip. ‘And I’m sure they’ll be delighted to have a professional on their books. I can come and see you,’ she added. ‘I’ve never known anyone in a show before.’

Evelyn smiled. Pip’s enthusiasm for life seemed to have grown a little each time they met. It was lovely to see.

‘And I thought I might look some people up, from the old days,’ Evelyn added. ‘Although I’ve no idea who might still be alive.’

‘You’re not that old!’ said Pip. ‘You do know that seventy is the new . . .’

‘Sixty-nine,’ offered Evelyn, and they laughed. ‘I do wonder what happened to dear old Ted, though. I really did let him float away.’

Pip opened her mouth to say something, but then seemed to think better of it.

‘So, are you going to start looking for flats?’ Evelyn asked.

‘Maybe,’ said Pip, but she didn’t look as doubtful as she had moments before.

‘I never got to see Scarlet all grown up,’ said Evelyn, ‘but if she had turned out half as well as you, Pip, then I would have been very, very proud.’

Pip looked delighted. ‘Oh, Evelyn,’ she said. ‘That’s the nicest thing anyone’s said to me for ages. I’m sure Scarlet and I would have been really good friends. We might even have known each other.’

Evelyn raised a sceptical eyebrow.

‘Okay,’ conceded Pip. ‘Given how fast I deserted Southwold I suppose that’s not that likely. But if we had met, then I’m sure we would have got along.’

‘I think you would have, too,’ said Evelyn.

‘And I think she would have been proud of you as well,’ said Pip. ‘The way you’re turning things around, getting the house straight, joining the theatre group and all that. I think she’d have been delighted.’