Reluctantly Home(59)

Pip raised her eyebrows, and her mother pulled another face and shrugged. Pip pulled out a chair and sat down next to Jez. Her mother might feel awkward quizzing him, but Pip had no such qualms.

She laid a hand on her friend’s forearm and squeezed lightly. ‘How are you doing, mate?’ she asked, her voice gentle.

Jez made no reply, but he sighed deeply, his shoulders rising and falling heavily. Pip looked up at her mother and cocked her head towards the door. Her mother nodded, grateful to be excused, and disappeared.

It was the just the two of them now. Behind them, the Aga hummed away to itself and there was the sound of a tractor engine in the distance.

Pip waited. There was no point in rushing him. He would tell her in his own good time. Or maybe not at all; either was fine. It just felt very important that he knew she was there for him, no matter what had happened.

She felt him draw in another huge breath and let it out again as a deep sigh, as if he was expelling something from his body. Then he raised his head and ran his hands through his hair.

‘Shit,’ he said.

‘Want to tell me?’ asked Pip.

He let out another big breath, blowing it through his lips.

‘Not much to tell,’ he said. ‘I’ve been dumped.’

Instinctively, Pip reached over, put her arms round his neck and pulled her into him in a tight squeeze. Totally compliant, he dropped his head on to her shoulder and let her hold him. They hadn’t been so close for over ten years, but the shape of him was immediately familiar. She knew exactly where his head would fit, where her hands should rest. Even the scent of him was the same, and for a second it tossed her back in time to a place that felt easy, comfortable, safe. It had been a while since Pip had experienced that feeling and she relished it, even as she knew that she should be trying to comfort Jez. This was about his pain, not hers. She continued to hold him tightly and hoped it was helping him as much as it was her.

After a couple of minutes, he drew away from her, his eyes focused on the yard beyond the kitchen window.

‘It’s my own stupid fault,’ he said.

‘How do you make that out?’ Pip asked. She might not know the details, but she wasn’t about to let Jez shoulder any of the blame.

‘Just look at me. I am a farmhand, son of a farmhand. I’m never going to add up to much else. I didn’t make it to uni, I settled for this life instead, and now I’m thirty and all I’ve done so far is work on the land less than five miles from where I was born.’

Pip was confused. She couldn’t see what this had to do with Teresa calling off their engagement, if that was indeed what had happened.

‘Well, there’s nothing wrong with that,’ she said cautiously, unsure of the right thing to say.

‘No. I know that,’ Jez replied. ‘And don’t get me wrong. I love what I do. Your dad’s great to work for and the job suits me.’

‘So where’s the problem?’ Pip asked.

He pulled his gaze from the window and focused on her instead. ‘I’ve been punching above my weight with Teresa. She’s way out of my league. Always has been. Her dad works in futures, whatever that is, and her mum’s a consultant at Colchester Hospital. They’re hardly like you and me.’

Pip could feel herself bristle a little at being lumped in with Jez, but she checked herself. She had to accept that they were fundamentally the same, despite all her efforts to differentiate herself.

‘And Teresa’s got a degree and an amazing job. She’s flying high. Pretty soon it was going to dawn on her that Jez Walker, lowly farmhand from Hicksville, didn’t fit into the picture. To be honest with you, I can’t believe I got away with it for as long as I did.’

‘That’s crap,’ said Pip, angry now on his behalf. ‘She was marrying you for you, not your job description. The rest of it shouldn’t matter if she really loves you.’

Jez peered at her through his lashes. ‘Says the girl who changed her name to something posher the minute she moved away,’ he said, and there was something bitter in his tone that made her feel ill at ease. Was that really what he thought, what they all thought? Then again, that was exactly what she had done; she just hadn’t realised it was so very transparent.

Jez seemed to understand that he might have hit a nerve, and he lowered his eyes again to defuse the tension.

‘Anyway, none of that matters,’ he said, ‘because Teresa’s called the whole thing off. Returned the ring. The works.’

He pulled a black velvet box out of his jeans pocket and flicked it open with his thumb. Inside was a very pretty ring with a diamond solitaire. Pip knew it was probably only around a quarter of a carat and immediately hated herself for both knowing that and thinking it.

Jez snapped the box shut and slammed it on the table.

‘So that’s that. I’m a single man once more. No big country wedding for me. Shit, the grapevine will be having a field day.’

‘Ignore them,’ Pip snapped. ‘It’s none of their bloody business. You just need to talk to Teresa. She’ll change her mind. It’s probably just pre-wedding nerves.’

‘Nah,’ he said, shaking his head. ‘That bird’s flown. We’ve been talking round it all week. Her mind’s made up. She’s very sorry and all that, but I’m history.’