Reign of Brayshaw (Brayshaw High #3)(59)

“Are you done?” I ask and his shoulders fall some. He closes his mouth. “Good.” I nod. “I have questions.”

“I can’t—”

“But you will because you’re smart enough to recognize a give and get when you see one.”

“You’ve already married him, Raven.”

“I’m not looking for a way out of this.”

“Then what?”

“My mom had me raped when I was twelve,” I tell him, not blinking when he stumbles back a step. “By a man you used to know.”

His brows knit at the center.

“She paid this man. It makes no sense.” I shake my head. “People, her people, from our neighborhood would have done it gladly and free. Men have asked for me over the years, but she’d act jealous and make them leave. I think she used the man she did, a man who had ties to this world, hoping it would get back to Donley. Why would she do that if he didn’t know I existed?”

“I...” Perkins shakes his head, looking off. “I don’t know.”

“What do you know, Connor?” I ask him.

He looks to the floor. “What she told me. That she was leaving him, that she didn’t need the money or the town. That her and I could go somewhere and be together, away from it all. I believed her. She wanted to be with me, I know it.”

“What happened?”

“She was supposed to meet me but didn’t show, so I went to the Graven Estate, ready to go in and get her, but my brother met me at the gates instead. He was smiling in a way I’d never seen, and I knew the woman we both loved gave him what she promised to keep for me.”

“Her virginity.”

He gives a curt nod, looking away. “I went out, preyed on someone who was hurting more than I was that night.”

“Captain’s mom.”

“She was crying, devastated. She had no family, was a foster kid who found someone to love. All she wanted was to have a child and show them a love she never knew, and she knew the life she was about to marry into meant no children of her own.”

“There are plenty of ways to be a parent that doesn’t include a fertile fucking husband.”

He gives a small nod before continuing. “I comforted her, knowing she’d break.” His sad eyes hit mine. “She was in my arms and then my bed within an hour, but she couldn’t stay long. She was getting married that night.”

Jesus Christ.

“Ravina was gone four months later but not before she got a note to me. She said she was sorry, and she had a secret she couldn’t hide if she were here.”

“A belly,” I croak.

He nods. “That was my first thought. I never understood why she’d take off. If she chose him, fine. I stayed out of her face, never stepped foot in that house again after he told me she gave him her. Her leaving made no sense to me. It really made no sense when Felix broke down months later.” Perkins eyes me.

My chest muscles constrict.

“Ravina seduced Felix that night. He said he found her stepping out of the shower, and instantly she came on stronger than she ever had. He said he tried to stop before things went further, wait for the wedding night, but she wouldn’t let up,” he whispers. “He said he couldn’t deny her, not that he truly wanted to anyway. Only after, he said she cried and asked for a few minutes alone, so he left to get some air.” Perkins meets my eyes. “That’s when he saw me outside and grew suspicious, so he masked his confusion and made sure I knew they’d slept together.”

“He slept with her that night.”

“He did, and every night that followed from there until she was gone.”

“I don’t understand.” I run a hand over my forehead, taking a few steps away. “Was he my father or not?”

Perkins gives a regretful shrug. “I don’t know, Raven. I wish I did.”

“You said she left four months after, what happened in that four months?”

“Ravina and Felix spent every minute together, looking every bit the happily engaged couple that they were supposed to be.”

“And when she left?”

“It was abrupt, caused a storm in the town. That’s when Donley called the strike on the Brays as revenge. He believed they stole her back, hid her somewhere because they changed their minds which wasn’t allowed.”

“How did he get to them?”

“They thought they were coming to hear news on where she might be but were ambushed. Everyone but Rolland died.”

Holy shit.

“Their dads... that was because my mom left?”

Because I existed?

I’m the reason they lost their parents?

Wait. So Perkins doesn’t know Rolland’s brother escaped either.

I swallow. “Did you look for her?”

“For years.”

“When did you learn about me?”

“When Rolland went to prison, which he only did because he thought it would keep you and her hidden. Felix had no idea who he was accused of raping. Your mother’s name was sealed, some back end deal made with the DA, so Felix blindly played the role asked of him by Donley, having no idea he was so close to discovering where Ravina was.”

“Did you go to her then?”