Regretting You(90)

“How long do you think it’s been going on?” she asks.

I shrug. “No telling. She’s over there right now. We have that app, and that’s where she is. Over there. With him.”

“Bastards,” she says. After that insult leaves her mouth, she suddenly grows animated, hopping up from the couch. She stumbles but catches herself. “What if your mother and Jonah caused the wreck so they could be together?”

“That’s ridiculous.”

“I’m serious, Clara! Do you not watch Dateline?”

I motion toward the television. “We don’t have cable anymore.”

Lexie begins pacing the living room, a little wobbly but successfully. “What if this is a conspiracy? I mean, think about it. Your dad and Jenny were together when they died. Why were they together?”

“My dad had a flat tire. They work in the same building. Jenny was giving him a ride.” They’re dead because of my texts to Aunt Jenny, but I keep that thought to myself.

Lexie narrows her eyes and snaps her fingers, like she just solved the case. “Flat tires can be staged.”

I roll my eyes, grab my fork, and take another bite of the cake sitting on the coffee table. It’s the saddest birthday cake I’ve ever seen. No one has even cut a slice from it. There are just huge chunks of cake missing from the top and sides. I speak with a mouthful. “My mom is a terrible person. But she’s not a murderer.”

Lexie raises an eyebrow. “What about Uncle Teacher? He hasn’t been around that long. Do we even know where he’s been? There could be a trail of dead bodies in his wake.”

“You watch way too much TV.”

She stomps over to me and bends over, coming face to face with me. “True TV! I watch crimes that have actually happened! This stuff happens, Clara. More often than you think.”

I shove a bite of cake in her mouth to shut her up.

It was unnecessary, though, because as soon as the front door opens, Lexie and I both clamp our mouths shut at the sudden presence of my mother.

Lexie slowly begins to lower herself to the coffee table. “Hello, Morgan,” Lexie says, doing everything in her power to appear sober. It might have worked if she wasn’t lifting her legs and stretching her back into an awkward position on the coffee table as she tries to hide the bottles of wine from my mother. Her entire body is stiff and contorted now. I appreciate her efforts, but she overestimates my mother’s stupidity.

My mother closes the door and stares at us with disappointment. She can see the empty bottles on the table, despite Lexie’s attempt to sprawl out in front of them. Lexie forgot I’m also holding a bottle in my lap. Can’t very well hide that at this point.

My mother’s eyes fall on me. “Really, Clara?” Her voice is flat. Unsurprised. It’s as if nothing I do could disturb her at this point.

“I was just leaving,” Lexie says, pushing off the table. She begins to walk toward the door, but my mother holds out her hand.

“Give me your keys.”

Lexie’s head rolls back with a groan. She pulls her keys from her pocket and drops them in my mother’s hand. “Does that mean I can stay the night?”

“No. Call your mother to come get you.” She looks at me. “Clean up this mess.” She takes Lexie’s keys to the kitchen.

Lexie pulls out her phone.

“Really? You’re just going to leave me here with her? She could be a murderer,” I whisper.

I don’t really think that, but I also really don’t want to be alone with my mother like this. When she’s angry, it doesn’t scare me. But right now, she just looks annoyed. That kind of terrifies me. It’s out of character, which means I don’t know what comes next.

“Uber will be here in two minutes,” Lexie says, sliding her phone back into her pocket. She walks over to me and hugs me. “Sorry, but I don’t wanna stay for this one. Call me if she murders you, ’kay?”

“Fine,” I say, pouting.

Lexie walks outside, and I look at the coffee table, grab the bottle of wine that isn’t quite empty yet, and I finish it off. I get the last swig down when it’s ripped from my hand.

I look at my mother, and maybe it’s the alcohol. It might be the alcohol. But I hate her so much I don’t even know if I’d be sad if she died. Every time I look at her now, I wonder about their affair. Did it start before her sister got pregnant? Was she still sleeping with Jonah while accompanying Jenny to all her sonogram appointments?

I always thought my mother was a terrible liar, but she’s a better liar than anyone. She’s better than me, and I’m the actress in the family.

“So,” I say, very casually. “How long have you and Jonah been fucking?”

My mother is forced to blow out a calming breath. Her lips thin with anger. I’m not sure I’ve ever felt worried she might slap me, but I take a step back because she looks pissed enough to slap me right now. “I’m done with this behavior, Clara.” She picks up the other wine bottle and the red SOLO Cups Lexie and I started with. When she stands up straight, she looks me in the eye again. “I would have never done that to Jenny. Or your father. Don’t insult me like that.”

I want to believe her. I kind of do believe her, but I’m drunk, so my judgment is impaired. She walks to the kitchen, so I follow her. “Is that where you’ve been?”