Reckless (Thoughtless, #3)(168)

I squeezed Kellan’s hand as I glanced up at him. We’d been through so much already, but she was right—we were strongest when we were together. We lifted each other up, brought out the best in each other. We were better people together. From somewhere behind me, I could hear my mother sobbing.

Looking to the Best Man and Maid of Honor, the minister asked, “Do you have the rings?”

Anna nodded as she wiped her tears away with a knuckle. Kellan and I had handed over our rings while decorating. I was a bit relieved that Anna hadn’t lost Kellan’s. Motherhood had done wonders for her responsibility. Her eyes swimming with more tears waiting to fall, Anna handed me Kellan’s promise ring. Evan’s face was equally emotional as he handed Kellan my wedding ring.

As Kellan and I faced each other, the nurse leaned in and asked, “Do you want me to say the standard vows, or would you like to say your own?”

Looking deep into my eyes, Kellan immediately responded with, “I’d like to say something.”

Lost in his dark blue depths, I deflated the encroaching ball of nerves in my stomach, nodded, and said, “I’d like to say something too.”

Looking pleased, she indicated for Kellan to start. Letting go of his stabilizing IV stand, Kellan wobbled on his feet for a second. Evan looked ready to hold him upright, but, face pale, Kellan managed on his own. Grabbing my left hand, Kellan tenderly opened my fingers; the warmth of his touch shot up my arm.

Placing the circle of metal at the end of my ring finger, his soft voice filled the space between us. “Kiera Michelle Allen, my life was empty before you stepped into it. I thought I had everything I needed, but only because I didn’t let myself want anything. And then I saw you, and you burned a hole straight through me. I have never wanted anything more in my life. And I have never been more terrified in all my life. In all my life,” he repeated.

I swallowed; I understood how dire that sentence was. I felt like he was cutting me open and caressing me at the exact same time. I wanted to say something, but a look of absolute wonder filled Kellan’s expression. “And then, beyond some miracle that I’ll never understand, I got to keep you, and now . . . I’m only just beginning to understand what it means to truly want something. Because I want so much now. I want to make you happy. I want to give you the world. I want you to be proud of me. I want to comfort you. I want you to comfort me. I want to hold you when you’re scared. I want you to hold me when I’m scared. I want to make you laugh. I want to make you blush.” Leaning in, he whispered, “I want to make you scream.”

I subsequently blushed, and Kellan chuckled. Sliding the ring over my knuckle, he told me, “I want to give you a home. I want to fill it with children. I want to take care of you. I want to grow old with you. I want you by my side, every day.” Folding his hand over mine once my ring was in place, he shrugged and shook his head. “I just want you. Do you want me too?”

I could barely speak I was so choked up. Man, he had a way with words. Somehow, I managed to squeak out an, “I do.”

The smile that blossomed over Kellan’s face brightened his pallid cheeks. Wondering how on earth I could possibly follow up that speech, I inhaled a calming breath and swallowed a half-dozen times.

Gently grabbing Kellan’s hand, I slid his ring onto his finger. “I never thought of myself as anything but plain and ordinary until you came along. The way you look at me, the way you see me . . . you pull something out of me. When I want to hide, you urge me forward. When I think I’m not good enough, you make me believe I am. When I feel anything but pretty, you convince me I’m beautiful. Just being around you makes me feel special. You don’t think you’re good at loving people, but you are. Your friends, your family . . . the level of love that you have for people astounds me. You don’t think people love you back, but they do. They fiercely love you. I fiercely love you. I’ve never met anyone as passionate as you, as kindhearted as you . . . as amazing as you. You love with every fiber of your soul. You inspire me every day. And if you’ll agree to be my husband, I’ll do my best to make you proud of me, to inspire you.”

A tear rolled down Kellan’s cheek as he watched me. Realizing I hadn’t technically asked him a question, I sputtered, “So . . . will you . . . do you? Take me?” Eyes widening, I quickly added, “As your wife.”

Light laughter broke around the room, and Kellan laughed with them. It embarrassed me some, but these people loved me, so I let it go and laughed along with them. Stopping his chuckles, Kellan cringed and grabbed the IV stand. “I do,” he told me, his face pained. Exhaling in a steady stream, he added, “So damn adorable. I never stood a chance.”

As I grinned at him, the minister warmly told us, “By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife.” Leaning forward, she told Kellan, “You may kiss your bride now.”

As another tear rolled down his cheek, he muttered, “Thank God, ’cause I couldn’t hold out another damn second.”

Letting go of his supportive stand, Kellan reached up for my face at the same time that I reached over for him. Careful to not knock him over, I laced my arms around his neck and poured my heart and soul into our kiss. Warm and soft, sweet and luscious, the kiss was full of hope, love, passion, and faithfulness. It was a binding promise of everything we both wished for the other.