Reckless Girls(29)

“It was a person,” I say, and my voice is too loud. Overhead, a flock of birds takes to the sky, noisily squawking, and I’m suddenly aware that sweat is slithering down my spine, and my hair is still sticking to my cheeks. I probably look awful, and I wish I hadn’t said anything, wish that I could just look at this thing like everyone else—as a cool artifact, a little bit of macabre excitement.

But maybe you can only react that way when death has never actually touched you, personally. In my mom’s final months, you could actually see the shape of her bones underneath her skin. I think of those bones sitting on someone’s fucking boat, like they’re just a cool souvenir, the equivalent of a plastic tiki cup or a jar full of shells …

Next to me, I notice Brittany is also a little pale, and when she reaches down to take my hand, squeezing it in support, her grip is tight enough to hurt.

“Lux is right,” she says. “You can’t just take it from here.”

“It’s old as hell,” Amma argues, folding her arms over her chest. “And it’s just a skull. Whoever it was has been gone a long time, Britt. It’s just … an object now. It’s no longer a person.”

“If Lux doesn’t want it on the boat, it shouldn’t go on the boat,” Eliza says firmly, and my face flushes even hotter because now people are taking sides over this thing that I started.

Jake suddenly steps forward, taking the skull from Nico. “Look, mate,” he says lightly, “probably bad luck to have bones on your boat, don’t you reckon? I’ll take it and bury it somewhere. But we should take some pics of it or something, document where we found it and all that.”

For a second, I think Nico might argue with him or try to press the issue. If he does, I realize I have no idea how to react. I don’t want to start a fight, but I also really, really don’t want that thing on the boat. And more important, I don’t want to have to explain myself. I want Nico to get it, to remember the things I’ve told him about my mom and understand why a human skull isn’t exactly my idea of discovering buried treasure.

Instead, Nico nods at Jake. “Yeah, good point, man. Bad juju, probably.”

We spend the next thirty minutes or so poking around the airstrip, but the fun has gone out of it, and before lunch, we’re heading back to the beach. Jake and Eliza disappear off on their own for a while, and Brittany and Amma go swimming while I head back to the boat, saying I’m going to nap, but really, I just want to be alone.

It’s nearly dinnertime before anyone else comes on board.

I’m sitting on the deck, letting my legs dangle over the side, when Nico approaches.

“You doing okay?” he asks, squatting down next to me.

I’m not, actually. I still feel shaken up, which in turn makes me feel stupid and silly. Nico and Jake are right—the skull had probably been there since the forties, it was nothing to be creeped out about.

But the bigger issue is that once again, something bothered me—frightened me—and Nico gave exactly zero fucks.

“Just a weird day,” I say, and Nico sighs.

“This isn’t Maui or the Haleakala,” he says, running his hand through his hair. “It’s a little wilder, a little weirder here. That’s what makes it fun.”

“Yeah, stumbling over dead people, super fun,” I say, and he bumps my shoulder with his.

“Can you lighten up?”

He doesn’t sound mad or irritated, just a little frustrated, but I still hate it. It’s another one of those moments, those signs of the man he could have been—the man I sometimes worry he may actually be. I pull away from him, my fingers curling around the wooden edge of the boat.

“Why don’t you go talk to Amma?” I suggest. “She seemed to be as psyched about that skull as you were.”

He sits there for a moment, and I can tell that he can’t decide how best to handle this, how to handle me. If he should just leave it alone, or try to argue his way out of this.

In the end, he gives a muttered, “Whatever,” and heaves himself back to his feet. After a pause, I hear a splash, and when I twist to look over my shoulder, I see him swimming to the shore, his arms cutting smooth, sharp strokes through the sparkling water.

The sun is setting, and it’s turned the sky a brilliant array of colors, from purple to orange, to the cotton candy pink of the clouds. The only sound is birdsong and the lap of the waves against the hull, and I close my eyes.

Nico is right. This place is wild and weird, and that’s the appeal of it. It’s why Brittany and Amma wanted to come here, why Jake and Eliza chose it. For the adventure.

And isn’t that what I wanted?

Standing up, I glance back toward the Azure Sky. I can make out Jake and Eliza, puttering around the deck, and I know Brittany and Amma are still on the island. Nico has stopped swimming, treading water as he turns to look at me, and without letting myself think, I reach for the hem of my T-shirt, yanking it over my head. I shuck out of my shorts just as quickly, and then I’m diving into the ocean, naked and maybe just a little bit insane.

Nico’s laugh when I come up makes it worth it, though.

He swims over to me, our bare legs bumping and tangling as he leans forward to press a clumsy, salty kiss to my lips.

I wrap an arm around his shoulders, his skin slick against mine, and kiss him back.