Rebel Born (Secondborn #3)(53)

“It wouldn’t have mattered, Reykin. Agent Crow had left the Palace, but a part of his consciousness was still there—in the body of a Black-O soldier. He used the soldier to interrogate me. Agent Crow had a theory. He’d checked me out himself in the morgue the first time I died, when he came to inspect his own corpse. He knew I’d come back to life somehow, and he wanted to see if I could do it again.”

“What did he do to you?” Reykin asks with a grimace, as if he really doesn’t want to hear my answer.

“He wanted to see if I could heal myself after death, so he tortured me, and then he drove a fusionblade through my heart.”

Reykin’s jaw tightens. He grips my shoulder and squeezes, almost involuntarily.

“Are you all right?” I ask.

He winces and looks up. The pressure of his hand eases, but he doesn’t remove it. “Am I all right? Who cares how I feel?”

“I care.”

“How long were you dead?”

“I don’t know—it took me maybe a day to regain consciousness?”

His eyebrow raises slightly. “Is it possible you’re somehow mistaken?”

“About being dead?”

“Yes.”

“No.”

Neither of us speaks until Reykin clears his throat and asks, “When you came back to life, what state were you in?”

“Not great,” I reply. “I woke up in a pool of crusted blood and vomit. My chest ached—it was tender, felt burned—but it had healed.”

“Was that why your uniform was charred over your heart?” Reykin demands. He’s seething now.

“Yes. When I woke up, Crow was waiting for me—it was his consciousness inside the body of my torturer. He was prepared to kill me again, to see if I could keep healing myself, to see if I’m . . .”

“Immortal.”

I nod. “The Crow-possessed soldier came at me again, but this time I held out my hand and I . . . I stopped him. An invisible pulse triggered from my palm and through my fingertips. The power tickled at first—like the vibration of a fusionblade powering up. But it was nothing like a fusionblade when it hit. It was more like a hovercycle striking him. The impact forced the soldier against the wall and shattered him.”

“You didn’t have that power before you died the second time?” Reykin asks.

“No. Something happened to me when I died. I think when my body healed itself, it upgraded.”

“Do you think it has something to do with the device in your head?”

“How could it not?” I rub my forehead in confusion. “I need to speak to your brother. How is he? Have you seen him?”

“I haven’t seen him yet. He’s on a different vessel. The reports are positive, though. They believe he should wake up soon.”

“I want to see him as soon as he does.”

“Me, too. What is he like now? Did you and my brother talk much? Are you . . .”

“Are we friends?” I finish for him. “I hardly know Ransom. We’re more allies than friends. He seems to know me much better than I know him. He has been my personal technician since the day you and I parted, Reykin.”

Reykin grimaces. “‘Parted.’ That’s a poor choice of words.” He’s angry, but I know it’s not directed at me. “We weren’t parted. We were shredded.”

My heart misfires, aches like it still has a hole in it, as if it’s filled with air bubbles instead of blood. “I don’t know who had it worse, you or me. You had to watch the decimation of our world. You’ll never be able to forget it. I, on the other hand, went to sleep and had my body violated so I’d massacre everyone they ordered me to. Crow showed me some of what I’ve done. I could hardly look at myself. I’m sure everyone knows I’ve been his assassin. No one can ever trust me again.” Emotions choke me into silence. I can’t talk about Clifton to Reykin or anyone. I can’t allow myself to think about what I did to him or I might go mad.

“I trust you.”

“Don’t trust me!” I snarl. “What I’ve done is unforgivable. I killed for them. I might do it again.”

“It wasn’t you. You would never—”

“But it was me—my skill, my combat training.” I thump my chest with my fist. “When I witnessed a recording of me fighting for Spectrum, I knew. I’m not innocent. I saw Dune in me, his techniques that I’ve spent years mastering. I didn’t follow Spectrum’s contrivance. They followed mine. The planning of the attack came from me. It’s strategy I’d employ today if Crow were the target under the same circumstances. I’d kill him the same way. Don’t you get it? Spectrum harvested my mind. Without me and the training I brought them, it would’ve been different.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Yes, I do. If they reinsert me into Spectrum, I’ll be their assassin. You can’t let that happen. You need a weapon on you at all times in my presence.”

“Why?” His eyebrows come together, and he growls. “You think I can kill you?” He’s offended.

“What’s wrong with you? You always threatened to kill me before! I may be immortal, but you can incapacitate me and figure out a way to destroy me if I turn into Crow’s henchman again.”