Reaper's Stand (Reapers MC, #4)(34)

I gotta get out of here.

Jackknifing off the bed, I stalked out into the living room, looking for my keys. They were on the kitchen counter, right next to the empty take-out containers. She could buy her own f*cking dinner and cry alone next time.

I heard her bare feet padding up behind me.

“So I guess this probably means our deal is off?”


Her voice sounded uncertain, almost scared. Still a little slurred, too. I turned to glare at her, taking in her tangled blonde hair, the curve of her generous hips in those tight jeans, and the way her shirt drooped low enough to show plenty of cleavage.

“Not if you want to keep the club accounts,” I growled, wondering why the hell I didn’t just fire her ass. My cock reminded me that we weren’t finished with her yet. “I’ll see you out at my place on Tuesday. Make enough food for leftovers and maybe we’ll have a talk about getting a crew into The Line.”

“Thank you,” she whispered.

“Eat shit,” I said, and then slammed out the door.

Seems like a bit of an overreaction, Heather gloated as I climbed into my truck.

She could eat shit, too. Fucking women. Even dead, they stuck together.





CHAPTER SIX




LONDON

“So, where does this leave us?” Nate asked me Monday night. We sat at a table in the back of the restaurant, where the light hardly reached and the flickering of candlelight was supposed to make everything look romantic. Instead it felt claustrophobic and damning.

“Honestly? I’m not sure.”

“I know you needed me and I wasn’t there. Do you think you can forgive me?”

I sighed, wondering whether it mattered.

So he hadn’t been there for me. I resented that. But he’d had to work, and in his defense he dealt with runaways all the time. From his perspective, this was probably a pretty good outcome. She was with a family member, not kidnapped and murdered by a serial killer.

That wasn’t even the real issue, though. I’d been hot as hell for Reese Hayes, whether I liked to admit it or not. Nate and I had decided to make things exclusive—then I crawled all over another man.

What kind of person does that?

Not a woman who’s in love. Or even infatuated . . . And if I’d fallen out of infatuation in less than two months, that was pretty much it for me and Nate. Both of us deserved better, although I hadn’t decided what that should look like. It’d been fourteen years since I lived on my own. Was that why I’d been so eager to hook up with Nate? Fear of being alone?

Why was I falling into that trap?

I kind of liked the idea of doing what I wanted to do when I wanted to do it. Maybe I should try eating ice cream for breakfast for a while, or color my hair bright red. Maybe I should buy a car that didn’t have a cleaning service logo on the side of it.

A red Miata. I’d always wanted one of those.

Now came the hard part.

“I don’t think it’s going to work out,” I said slowly. Nate frowned, his hand covered mine, squeezing it tightly.

“Babe, I think you’re overreacting.”

“No, it’s not—” I started to say, but then stopped myself. It’s not you, it’s me. Such a cliche, but in this case painfully true. Nate might not be perfect, but he was pretty great. He just wasn’t the man I wanted. All I could think about was Reese and how he’d felt between my legs.

Amazing.

I wanted to feel that again. Alive and awake.

Was I actually going to sleep with him? I really hadn’t decided . . . The thought definitely appealed. He wasn’t relationship material, but maybe I didn’t need a relationship just yet.

Maybe I just needed to get laid.

Yup. Ice cream for breakfast, color hair, get laid, buy Miata. Then more ice cream. I had a plan.

“London?”

I focused on Nate again, blinking rapidly. His face was so earnest, so full of concern.

“I think we should stop seeing each other,” I said firmly, and the words felt right. Slightly painful, but liberating, too.

He frowned.

“You’re breaking up with me?” he asked slowly, as if he couldn’t believe what I’d just said. “Jesus, Loni. I get that I f*cked up, but this seems kind of harsh.”

“It’s not that,” I said. “I’ve just realized that what I feel for you isn’t strong enough. I’m sorry. I wish I could change things—”

“It’s about Reese Hayes, isn’t it?”

I shook my head, although part of me knew I was lying.

“It’s about us,” I told him. “We just aren’t going to work, so it’s best to end it now.”

“I asked you to sleep with me, not marry me,” he snapped. “God, what the hell is wrong with you?”

Good question. I swallowed, because he was starting to look angry and I couldn’t blame him for that. But I couldn’t date someone out of guilt, either. Nope. A clean break was the only decent course of action.

“It doesn’t matter,” I said carefully. “There’s no future here and I respect you too much to lead you on.”

Nate threw his napkin on the table and leaned forward, eyes narrowed. His face was getting red and I realized I’d never seen him upset before. What Reese had told me about him ran through my mind, but I pushed it away. This was Nate. Sweet Nate. He was hurt, and no wonder. None of this was fair to him.