Raphael (Deadly Virtues #1)(60)

Raphael’s finger moved from inside her, and she watched his face as he reached downward. It took her a minute to realize that he was squeezing his penis, fisting it in his unyielding grip over the silicone cage. A wave of sadness engulfed her. She wanted him freed from whatever it was that made him need such pain and violence to be intimate. When she looked into Raphael’s eyes, she froze. She saw something in his golden gaze she had never seen before. Not in any man’s eyes. Vulnerability. Stark vulnerability.

Raphael didn’t speak, and Maria basked in the silence. Her vows as a nun made silence a sanctuary for her fragile soul. It was perfect, as Raphael tipped Maria’s hips up and pushed his length inside her, that there were no words being exchanged. No cries of pleasure or crude groans. There were only labored breaths and the feeling of such heavenly freedom.

Maria gasped, cinching her thighs together when Raphael’s movements became painful. He stopped, watched her for a signal to continue. This man, this broken man who was so violent and aggressive, so domineering and dark, was waiting for Maria to move.

Giving her control. She wasn’t sure if he knew it. But he was.

Tears flooded Maria’s eyes as she lowered her hands to the bottom of his back and guided him back inside. Her eyes squeezed shut as he pushed forward. She held her cry captive in her mouth as he broke through her virginity and filled her to the hilt. Raphael paused as Maria tried to catch her breath. Holding his gaze, she nodded, telling him without words to move. And he did. He rocked into her, his jaw clenching as his length pushed in and out, each movement less painful than the last. Sweat glistened on their bodies, and the moon cast their skin in an ethereal glow. Maria couldn’t look away from him, the man who she knew still wanted to kill her. Something had happened to him in his past. She didn’t know if he would ever share what. But whatever it was, it had made him believe that his only option was death and violence and sin.

Pausing, Raphael gripped Maria under her behind and pulled her up. He kneeled back and brought Maria to straddle his lap. Raphael guided her hips, rocking in and out of her. But Maria couldn’t stop the tears from falling when he moved his hands up. Slowly and softly, he moved his hands to her back and stroked her scars. Her bottom lip shook, but when she looked into Raphael’s eyes, she saw a desperate unspoken need in them. Maria moved her hands from Raphael’s shoulders and down to his scars, the large red welts that crisscrossed in jagged stripes. And they didn’t stop. As they rocked and moved, sinking deeper into each other, their hands praised their scars. Scars that no one saw and that were never spoken of. The secrets they both kept, the demons that lived buried deep in their souls.

Raphael moved faster and faster until Maria grew breathless, pressure building at her spine. His eyes flared and his thrusts became erratic. The sight was too much for Maria. Rocking her hips faster, she chased the pleasure only Raphael could bring. Raphael matched her pace, crushing her to his chest. And as his lips pressed softly against hers, his tongue filling her mouth with the sweetest taste, Maria shattered apart, eyes closing, basking in sunlight once more.

Raphael roared and stilled. His warm release soothed Maria in ways she hadn’t thought were possible, calming the anguish her past had unearthed.

She rested her forehead against his. And they both held on tight. They didn’t speak. Raphael slipped from inside her and laid them down on the bed. He looked down at his cage-covered length. Maria followed his gaze, blushing when she saw a smear of blood. But before embarrassment could take her in its grip, Raphael rolled her onto her back and spread her legs. She watched him, breath held for what he was about to do. He moved slowly down her body, then pushed her legs apart. Raphael ran his hands along her inner thighs and to her core. Maria flinched at the sensitiveness, but then her heart melted when Raphael kissed the path where his hands had just been. Kissed her thighs until he reached her core and gently licked along it. Maria’s eyes fluttered shut at the devotion he gave her. She didn’t even dwell on the fact there had been blood, blood that he had consumed. Raphael was the master of her virginity. Her blood was his.

He kissed and calmed her, then raised his head and came back to lie beside her, chest against chest. Raphael reached for Maria’s bun and pulled, releasing the long strands. Her stomach flipped when she saw his eyes flare as her hair shrouded them, blanketing Raphael’s shoulders and arms, creating a cocoon for them to hide behind. Maria wondered if she should move. If she should go back to her bed. As if reading her mind, Raphael pulled her closer, and ordered, “You’re staying in my bed tonight, little rose. You’re staying right here.” He closed his eyes and, with his arm around her waist, quickly fell into a deep sleep. Maria ran her finger along his forehead. The lines that had been so prominent had disappeared. No strain. No pain.

Maria closed her eyes and held him in return.

Two broken souls entwined.

*****

It was the years of rising at dawn that made Maria wake so early each day, before the sun and while the rest of the world still slept soundly. Including Raphael, who was still curled around her, the purity of peace on his beautiful face.

Maria took advantage of his sleep and drank in his features. She felt raw but revived at sharing her past with him. And opening up about her past had somehow made the darkness that lurked ever close fade.

Birds began to wake outside the windows. But the sun was still asleep.

Maria moved as quietly as she could, shifting out from under the heavy weight of Raphael’s arm. She froze when he stirred, but his breathing quickly evened out, and Maria slipped from the bed. She went to the bathroom to freshen up and brush her teeth. When she came out, she looked to the locked doors. Maria needed to leave these rooms. She needed to clear her head. She understood she was a captive, knew she didn’t have the right to wander as she pleased. And she had no intention of escaping. She just needed to walk. To get some distance, and pray upon what had transpired. To rid her mind of the lingering painful memories that had been hard to relive.