Radiant Sin(38)

She makes that delicious little whimpering sound. Gods, I want to bottle that sound up. I want to do whatever it takes to make her do it again.

“Apollo,” she breathes.

Now is the time to move, to reclaim some distance between us. It’s the honorable thing to do, and I pride myself on being an honorable man.

Instead, I settle down more firmly on top of her. “Cassandra.”

She shivers and shifts a little, her thighs tensing on either side of my hips. “You are very, very hard.”

“Considering the fact that I have you beneath me, I’m surprised that’s all I am.” I shift closer when I should be moving away, until my lips brush her ear. Until I can whisper, “Please ignore it. I’m sorry.”

“Are you really sorry?” She shifts again.

This time, there’s no mistaking her movement. She’s rolling her hips a little, rubbing herself against my cock. I drop my head to the curve of her shoulder. “If you don’t stop doing that, I’m going to embarrass myself by coming in my pants.”

She doesn’t stop. If anything, my attempt at control emboldens her further. “You want me.”

“Of course I want you.” I’m speaking too sharply for all that I match her low tone, but she’s rubbing her pussy on me, and it takes everything I have to hold perfectly still and not grind against her. “But you’re my employee and it won’t be appropriate to make you feel like you had to do something you didn’t want to because of an imbalance of power.” It’s hard to keep my voice down, to whisper to keep this conversation just between us. To not potentially draw the attention of whoever is roaming the halls tonight.

She goes still for a moment. I both curse and praise myself in equal measure for causing that delicious torment to cease. But then Cassandra surprises me by laughing softly. I lift my head and glare down at her, not that she can see my expression. “What’s so funny?”

“In what world would I give a fuck about our so-called power imbalance? I’m quitting in six days. You don’t hold any power over me, Apollo.” She arches up a little, pressing her breasts more firmly against my chest. Her lips brush my jaw. “Unless you want to. Only in the bedroom, of course.”

“Cassandra.” I don’t know if I’m telling her to stop it or commanding her to continue.

Her laugh is low and downright sinful. But she doesn’t start rocking against me again. Instead, she seems to consider something. I find myself holding my breath while I wait for her to speak. Finally, she says, “Is the only thing holding you back that you don’t want to take advantage of me?”

I should lie. It’s the safe thing to do. I’m afraid to hope I’m correctly anticipating where she’s going with this. Even as I tell myself not to, I answer honestly. “Yes.”

“You want me,” she repeats.

“Cassandra, I’ve wanted you for years.” I don’t exactly mean to say it. I’ve tread so carefully around her for a very long time, always painfully aware of her position within Olympus and her desire to keep as far away from the Thirteen and their political games—from us—as possible.

But I like Cassandra. It crept up on me slowly, but that’s how it works with me. Emotions and caring come first, and desire follows. How could I not care for her? She’s smart and savvy and prickly, and she might not think I’ve noticed all the sacrifices she’s made for her sister, but how could I spend any amount of time around her with falling, at least a little bit?

Shock stills her, but not for long. “Gods, Apollo.” She exhales in a shaky laugh. “You’re serious.”

It’s too late to walk it back now. Besides, I don’t want to lie to her. “Yes.”

“You know what?” She eases back to the couch, opening up the tiniest bit of distance between us. My arms shake with the desire to close it, but I force them still. Cassandra rewards me a heartbeat later when she snakes her hands between our bodies and presses her palm to my stomach. “I’m only in Olympus for another week.”

“I’m aware,” I grit out.

She strokes me with her fingertips almost idly, as if she doesn’t care about the very real danger of me losing it from this touch alone. “What if we…made it real? The sex, I mean. Not the dating for obvious reasons.”

Disappointment I have no right to feel takes root in my chest. Of course she wouldn’t want to date me for real. Asking something like that is absurd; as she said, she’s leaving in a week. Inviting her to be my girlfriend in any real way during that time is unfair.

If this were a month ago—a week ago—I wouldn’t say yes. I would tell her that I want all of her or nothing at all. That I don’t operate like that; I don’t have casual sex with people I don’t care about. Sex means something to me. Cassandra means something to me. She has for some time.

Am I willing to compound the pain of her leaving for the pleasure of having more of her now?

I know the answer even before I finish thinking the question. Of course I am. If the pain is inevitable, then at least I’ll have these moments to look back on, no matter how bittersweet. I swallow hard. “I don’t want to pressure you.”

“You couldn’t if you tried.” She moves her hand to my stomach and dips her fingertips beneath the band of my lounge pants. “Can I touch you, Apollo?”