Rabbits(134)

“One-oh-seven point three,” I said as I adjusted the frequency of the car’s radio.

“You really think this is going to work?” she asked.

“Honestly?”

Emily nodded.

“Not really,” I said.

“Fuck you.” Emily forced a laugh. “Ready?”

I nodded.

Emily turned up the radio and the sound of static filled the car.

And I was brought right back to that night in the truck.

I’d relived it so many times, it was easy to get back there now, driving along the same road in the dark with Emily. The farther we moved up the road, the more I felt like I was actually somewhere else, somewhere back in time.

Then, Emily turned off the headlights and another wave of darkness poured into the truck and passed through my body. I could feel it slide into my skull, right behind my eyes. I shook my head and pressed my palms against my eye sockets. It wouldn’t be long before the darkness coming from outside was everywhere and the entire world started shaking again.

Emily grabbed my hand and squeezed it tight. I could tell she was thinking about Annie. From the light of the touchscreen on the dash, I could see the tears streaming down her face. I squeezed back.

The last time we were here, speeding along this road with the headlights off, I was terrified. This time, even though I could feel that the end of everything was approaching, I wasn’t scared. I was pretty sure Swan had been telling the truth, that our world was going to end, and if she was right about the timing, it was most likely going to happen very soon.

What did it matter if we died in an accident a minute or two early?

While Emily fought to keep the car on the road, I leaned forward and listened to the radio.

It was so quiet at first that I could barely hear it, but it was there. Music. It grew louder, eventually cutting through the static enough that I could make out the song. It was “Were You Blind That Day,” the impossible song by Steely Dan.

Of course it was.

I turned up the volume on the radio, and I remember thinking, what are the odds of that song playing on the radio in that moment?

Suddenly Emily leaned forward. “Can you see it?”

I saw it.

There was something in the middle of the road up ahead. It was thick and dark, and appeared to be moving, but I couldn’t make out any detail.

This time we didn’t swerve, and Emily didn’t turn on the lights.

We drove straight toward it.

As we sped forward, the shaking became unbearable and the darkness both inside and outside the car became something else—but maybe someplace else is more accurate. The reality of the space, or whatever it was that held the atmosphere in place, felt…thicker, almost slightly damp. It was as if we’d entered another world.

Then Emily screamed and a wild metallic buzzing, like a million wasps on a tin roof, filled the inside of the truck and burst into my head.

And then…we were definitely someplace else.



* * *



—

I was floating.

The familiar briny oily smell of wet fur and feathers filled my nose. It was peaceful, but I could still feel the powerful darkness all around me. It felt like we’d entered something like the eye of the storm. Whatever or wherever it was, the world wasn’t shaking, and I could no longer feel the wheels of the car beneath me on the road.

As we slid forward into a thick blackness, the briny oily smell slowly turned into something else.

It was familiar, but it took me a moment to place it.

It was the scent of Dewberry perfume oil that I’d smelled back in the truck all those years ago.

And then I was suddenly adrift in the in-between place, but it was different this time—less chaotic.

Once again I felt the cool syrupy darkness, and the seemingly endless currents were rushing by just like before, but this time I felt more in control. If I focused my thoughts, I could see the colors and shapes of the currents, and if I closed my eyes, I could actually feel them and bring them closer.

This time I didn’t reach down to try to find my mother’s hand, or Chloe’s.

This time I was holding Emily’s hand, and I could feel her strength helping me focus. I could feel the strength of her desire and love for me.

I knew that it was time to make a choice.

I focused all of my attention on the currents, and immediately felt the familiar deep buzzing start moving through me, but this time, somewhere way out there in the darkness, I saw a distant smudge of light.

I knew what I had to do.

I squeezed Emily’s hand, and once again reached down into the endless darkness.

I’d made my choice.

I cleared my mind and willed the distant light closer.

The smudge slowly became a flicker, then it morphed into a glowing swirl as it rushed toward me, slicing through the darkness, speeding, pulsing, humming, and burning, and then— I was on my mother’s knee in a strange house surrounded by our things, and— Running through an open field jumping over the black well, and— Broken and alone in the Harvard Exit Theatre waiting for The Passenger, and— In somebody’s kitchen laughing with my father as an old man, and— In the truck with Annie and Emily Connors—

The left side of my body began to tingle as the light came closer, but just as it was about to reach me, I felt somebody grab my other hand and pull.