Queen of Myth and Monsters (Adrian X Isolde, #2)(28)

“Because when I am here, I remember our final night together,” he said, holding my face between his hands, thumbs brushing away my tears. “Do you remember the details of that night?”

I shook my head, and he smiled, though it was faint, and it quickly disappeared.

“We made love,” he said. “It was different from all the other times…and it has never been that way since. I never want it to be because I knew that you were only saying goodbye. I knew it even when you spoke of our future.”

“What did I say?” I asked.

I had no vivid memories of this night, but that was likely because it had been drowned in the trauma that had followed.

Adrian held me so close, I could no longer feel the cold around us, only the heat between us.

“You wanted a quiet life with me at the base of this mountain,” he said. “We would have a farm and you would teach magic the way it was meant to be taught.”

“How quaint,” I said, managing to laugh despite how much I cried. The irony wasn’t lost on me—the life I had wanted then and the life I had now.

“You named our children,” he said, and the silence that followed his statement shattered my heart. They were the children we would never have.

“What were their names?” I whispered.

I knew he remembered, knew he clung to the memory of them though they never existed.

“Cora, for a girl,” he said, and I swallowed something sharp and jagged in my throat, only to have it land uneasily in my stomach.

Cora. I thought the name was so buried, I could hardly recall where I had heard it, but once the seed was planted, a woman formed around the name. She had a proud face and stood stoic and still. Her eyes were dark, both humble and fierce. She was beautiful, and an ache settled deep inside me at the fact that I did not know what had happened to her in the aftermath of my death.

This was Yesenia’s mother.

My mother.

“Cora,” I repeated, and my brows lowered as I searched for the other name. Finally, I met Adrian’s gaze. “Alek. For a boy,” I said. “After you.”

A ghost of a smile touched his lips but could not dim the pain in his eyes, and after a moment, he spoke. “I am sorry I could not give you what you wanted,” he said.

“Adrian,” I whispered. His words broke me in a way I hadn’t been before. It had not been he who had taken away the future I had once dreamed of. It had been men. It had been Dragos.

I took his face into my hands, gaze falling to his lips as I spoke. “You are what I want.”

He took my mouth in a searing kiss and gripped my hips, and though it was cold, it seemed important that we come together here within this place that had stolen so much from us. I did not protest as Adrian lifted my heavy skirts, seeking the heat between my thighs.

His fingers were cold at first but soon warmed, and as he moved inside me, his mouth devoured mine, trailing along my jaw and neck and over my breasts. There came a point when I could no longer stand, and I dragged him to the snowy ground with me, laughing as he hovered over me, the snow freezing my back.

Adrian did not leave me like that for long. He sat back on his cloak and dragged me onto my knees, his hands digging into my ass as he pulled me flush against his arousal. My breath caught in my throat, but Adrian gave me no time to exhale before he kissed me, devouring my mouth, while his hands moved between us. I shifted, rising until the crown of his cock was positioned within my heat. As I slid down upon him, a shuddering moan escaped my lips.

He wrapped his arms around me tight and helped me move.

“Yes,” I whispered. “Yes, yes.”

I spoke frantic pleas as I inhaled and exhaled, uncaring that I could barely catch my breath, only chasing this dizzy and euphoric feeling. When I was too tired to move, Adrian leaned back, his hands sinking into the snow as he thrust inside me. At first I remained close, hands pressed against his chest, holding still as he moved, but then I pushed away from him so I could watch his face—his hard expression, his determined stare which only seemed to ignite me more.

I let my head fall back as release roared through me, and before I could come down, Adrian’s hands tangled into my hair and he kissed me hard as he came, his cock pulsing inside of me.

For a few moments, I stayed clenched around him, and in what remained of that breathless warmth, I asked for an oath.

“Anything for you,” he said.

“Promise me the world,” I said, breathing hard.

“It is yours,” he said.

***

We gathered lavender. It lay crushed beneath a layer of snow, but Adrian knew where to look, so familiar with the woods.

When we returned to Cel Ceredi, the pyre was lined with bodies wrapped in black cloth. While Adrian and I placed the lavender we had collected among the dead, a heaviness grew in my chest, collecting in the back of my throat.

I hated this.

I hated that I had not been able to protect more than myself in battle, hated that I had barely managed that. I hated that whoever had done this—whether Ravena or some strange change in Asha’s influence—only did so because Adrian and I ruled this land.

Perhaps Adrian was right about the benefit of my change.

When we had finished placing the lavender, Adrian took my hand, and we chose a place to stand before the macabre structure, with Daroc and Sorin on one side and Ana and Tanaka on the other. Killian, torch in hand, helped light the base of the pyre, which was packed with dried wood and hay. The fire caught easily and climbed, blazing viciously, and despite how far we stood from it, the heat still stung my skin.