Quarterback Sneak (Red Zone Rivals #3)(31)

It had been hard for her to meet my eyes that next day in training, but once she did, it was as if nothing had happened at all. I cracked a joke, and she shot a one-liner back at me. And that was it.

Business as usual.

It’d been that way ever since.

“You’ve really progressed,” she said as she maneuvered my elbow and wrist this way and that, testing my shoulder’s limits. “Your recovery is going better than even I speculated.”

Hope ballooned in my chest, but I didn’t dare ask what that meant, and Julep dropped it just as quickly as she’d brought it up, instructing me to roll over onto my stomach for deep tissue work.

We were both quiet as she massaged my neck and shoulder, my upper back, all the little muscles and tendons that needed to be worked out. Those quiet minutes lulled me into a stupor, my heavy heart and mind begging me to sink into oblivion. I was so exhausted from training, from the mental and physical aspect of it all, that I succumbed, a long exhale bringing me the last bit of relaxation I needed to release.

In my half-dream state, Julep’s hands felt even warmer, firmer where they squeezed and rubbed. I inhaled deep, soaking in each touch, groaning a little when she dug her thumb into a sore spot that brought on as much pain as it did pleasure.

I knew without being able to see her that she was grinning. The little sadist loved bringing me pain.

It made me wonder if she’d dig those nails into my flesh if I ever had the chance to lay her back, if she’d bite my lip enough to draw blood if I dared to steal a kiss.

I’d wanted to so badly that night in the garden.

It had made me dizzy, made me sick when she’d told me to stop, when she’d said goodnight and pulled away just enough for me to let her go. I’d been intoxicated by her, drawn into her web and willing to lay my entire life on the line for just one taste.

That desire hadn’t ebbed, not even as my intelligence took over and reminded me all the reasons nothing between us could ever happen. It didn’t stop me from storming up to my shower that night, running it hot, and stroking myself to the thought of taking her. It didn’t stop me from daydreaming every time I’d seen her since. It didn’t stop me from fantasizing about how she would respond if I broke loose of the constraints I’d tied myself up with and said fuck it all, pushing her against the nearest wall and hiking her thigh up, skating my fingers between her legs…

“Roll over,” she commanded, and I did so as those words drifted to me through a fog only a massage could bring on.

I kept my eyes closed, sighing contently as I rolled onto my back and waited for her to start working on the front part of my shoulder.

Instead, a soft laugh floated into the shell of my ear.

I creaked one eye open and then the next, Julep framed in a halo from the fluorescent light above her. She wore an amused smile, and through my exhausted, sated massage haze, she almost looked like an angel.

“What’s so funny?” I mused with a smirk of my own.

“Oh, nothing,” she said, folding one arm over her chest and balancing the elbow of the opposite on top of it. She rested her chin on her knuckles, rolling her lips together before she released them with a pop. She pointed at my crotch at the same time. “Just saying hello to my new friend, that’s all.”

I frowned, following the direction of her finger.

And then cursed.

I had a raging fucking hard-on, my cock at full attention, straining against my shorts.

I sat up, adjusting myself as Julep laughed and laughed. My cheeks flamed with embarrassment, but the longer I watched her laughing, the longer I heard that rare, fucking perfect sound coming from her, the less I cared.

I smiled, too, and leaned back on my hands, shaking my head. “It amuses you, does it?”

“Oh, very much so,” she managed between her laughs. She was holding her side now, tears flooding her eyes.

“Who’s the twelve-year-old now?” I teased.

She just howled more.

I couldn’t help but watch her, and even though she was laughing at my expense, I felt some sort of pride in getting that sound out of her at all. I waited until she calmed, and she rested one hand on the edge of the table, the other still holding her side as her eyes found mine.

Silence fell over us like a warm blanket, shielding us from the outside world. Her face evened out as her breath shallowed, and I held her weighted gaze as long as I could before she shook me free and stood straight again.

“Well, I have a boner killer,” she announced, and she actually had the decency to look a little apologetic as she wiped a tear from her eye. “Holden… you’re going to be out again this game.”

All joy left me with those words.

I flopped back on the table, sighing. “Perfect.”

Julep didn’t try to comfort me, didn’t try to assure me everything would be okay and I’d be out there soon. I appreciated that, that she didn’t lie, didn’t make any promises she couldn’t keep. She was calling the shots as she saw them in that moment, not a future one.

Right now, I couldn’t play.

It was as simple and awful as that.

After a moment, she leaned against the edge of the table, half-seated, as she said, “We’re making progress. Your strength has improved ten-fold.”

Both true.

Neither enough to soothe the burning in my chest.