Put Me Back Together(35)

“You invited me over,” Matt said.

“Maybe she should lie down,” Anita suggested.

“Don’t let her lie down,” Em said. “What if she swallows her tongue?”

“Oh shit, for real?” Matt said.

Anita said, “She’s not having a seizure!”


Was I having a seizure? I didn’t think so, but then what did I know? Maybe intense nausea, a pounding headache, and the desire to weep and scream at the same time were what a seizure felt like. Or maybe it was just what being a big, fat, terrified baby felt like. It was an either/or situation.

I was sitting on my sister’s bed in her room, flanked by Anita—it was her room, too—and Emily, with my head in my hands and my eyes squeezed shut. Earlier I had been screaming into a pillow, which had sparked Anita’s alarm. She’d never seen me like this before. Honestly, nobody had ever really seen me like this before. I’d only come to Emily’s room because I was seriously freaking the hell out and also I needed help with my hair and she had all the good hair products. And because I needed my sister.

“Why did you say you’d go with him if you didn’t really want to?” Anita asked as she rubbed my back.

“I want to go,” I replied miserably without opening my eyes. “This is me wanting to go.”

I heard Matt laugh. “Damn, girl,” he said. “You’ve got problems.”

“Get out!” Em cried, and I felt the bed shift beneath me as she got up and wrestled Matt toward the door.

“Hey,” he protested. “You invited me over.”

“And now this is me kicking you the hell out!” Em cried, slamming the door, presumably in his face.

I heard a girl’s voice outside the door say, “Dude, that’s harsh!” and some laughter. Poor Matt would probably be hearing about this for a while.

“God,” Em muttered. “I hate it when they keep coming back like that.”

“You invited him over, you idiot,” Anita said in an irritated whisper. “If you don’t want them to get clingy, then don’t be such a tease!”

“How dare you ignore my sister’s pain to chastise me,” Em replied haughtily, also in a whisper. “This is about Katie. Let’s take care of Katie.”

“Maybe Katie’s freaking out because her sister’s a dirty little skank,” Anita shot back. I heard a thump, which I was pretty sure was Anita being hit by a pillow.

“I’m a skank?” Em cried. “Who slept with Greg Ranski twice after he got back together with his girlfriend?”

Thump, thump.

I had to open my eyes for that one. “Oh my God, Anita,” I said to her.

“That doesn’t make me a skank!” Anita protested, socking Em another time with the pillow from her bed. “That just makes me guilty of…bad decision making. Besides, that was first semester. We agreed that anything that happened first semester doesn’t count!”

“Oh yeah? Well, count this!” Em said, brandishing a cushion from the armchair.

A few minutes later, after a furious pillow battle that I think we all ultimately lost, we found ourselves lying on the floor in a row with our feet up on Manic Melanie’s bed, staring at the ceiling. I had a pink bunny slipper under my head.

“It’s a party,” I said. “You know I’m no good at parties.”

“That’s not true,” Anita said. “You’re good at everything.” I had no idea what she was basing this on, but it was reassuring, nonetheless.

“What if I can’t think of anything to say?” I said.

“Just think of what the coolest person you know would say in that exact situation and say that,” Em replied. “It works for me all the time. By the way, the coolest person you know is me.”

That one was a little less reassuring. If I were going to be Em at this party, I’d have to do some serious drugs to get through the night.

“What if they try to force me to play beer pong or quarters or do that thing where they make you drink beer out of a tube that kind of seems like waterboarding?”

“Then tell them to f*ck off!” Anita and Em both said at the same time, and we all cracked up.

“What if they try to make me dance on a table?” I said.

“Nobody ever makes someone dance on a table,” Anita explained. “It’s kind of a voluntary thing. And I think we can all agree you won’t be volunteering.”

“Hell, no!” I said.

“I’ve got the perfect solution for all your worries,” Emily said. “Here it is: Drink as much as you can as fast as you can. Tada! No more worries.”

I expected Anita to dismiss Em’s solution as quickly as I did, but instead I heard her agreeing.

“Seems like a wise plan,” she said.

“Guys, the only thing worse than going to this party with Lucas would be going to this party and getting plastered and throwing up all over Lucas,” I said. Considering how quickly I’d gotten drunk at The Limo, that was a real possibility. “I reject your solution!”

“Seems like a wise choice,” Anita agreed in a bout of fickleness.

“Okay, then, let’s talk about Lucas. He’ll be with you the whole time, right?” Em said. “Just stay with him. I’m sure he’ll take care of you.” I ignored her unspoken question: Because this is a date, right?