Pulse (Collide, #2)(81)
Gavin clenched his jaw. He felt backed into a corner as Dillon stood.
“I have to drain the snake. In the meantime, I think you both have a few things to go over. I’m a nice guy, so I’ll recap everything before I leave you two lovebirds alone. So, let’s see.” Brows furrowed, Dillon crossed his arms and stroked his jaw in mock concentration. “Not only do I have surveillance footage of every second of you choking me on my desk, but I have witnesses. I have a crowd of witnesses here tonight who saw you attack me, and I have a slew of family members who play golf, drink, and barbeque with the highest criminal judges in Manhattan’s court system. How f*cking lucky am I? Now, you two think very carefully about your decision. We can make this somewhat easy or really f*cking hard.” Without another threatening reminder spoken, Dillon spun in the direction of the bathrooms.
Squeezing her eyes closed, Emily released a shaky breath and rested her elbows on the table. She caressed her temples in an effort to combat a pulsating headache, feeling as if it was splitting her skull open. Tension jittered through every muscle in her body. “We have to let him, Gavin. I’ll go to the district attorney on Monday and make whatever changes I have to make to the order of protection.”
“No f*cking way. My father’s a lawyer. We’re not agreeing to anything this * wants until I talk to him.”
Emily lifted her head, her gaze tracing Gavin’s face. He looked as exhausted as she felt. Her voice came out quiet but sharp. “I’m not waiting. I’m not taking a chance you’ll get thrown in jail. You might be this baby’s father, and I need you in its life. In my life. Please? We’re both shot from this. I can’t deal with any more.”
“Jesus Christ, Emily,” Gavin whispered, turning to face her. “He wants to be in the goddamned delivery room. Do you know what that’ll do to me? It’ll put me in my grave. Think about what you’re saying. It’s bad enough I’m forced to reason with what he did to you, but you want me to share the birth of a child that could be mine with him?”
“You don’t think that’s going to kill me too?” she choked out, trying to keep her voice down as she stared into his eyes. “My heart’s stopping just thinking about it, but the alternative is you not being there at all. How would I even make it through the delivery without you? Forget about just the delivery. You could be in jail for years.” Tears streaming down her face, she caressed his hair. “You’d miss holding this baby within a few minutes of it coming into this sick and beautiful world. You wouldn’t hear its first cry or first word. You wouldn’t see first smiles or steps. You’d miss birthdays, recitals, and the first day of school. I need you to think about what you’re saying. But more than anything, I need you to think about every first you’ll never get back.”
Completely. Fucking. Torn.
Gavin’s heart split at the seams; he swore he heard it ripping open. He couldn’t deny the truth in Emily’s words. He knew missing any one of those things could put him in his grave. Every single one of those reasons owned a little piece of something that added up to everything he was looking forward to. Everything he existed for. On the other hand, his gut wretched at the thought of sharing any of those moments with Dillon. The whole situation was poisonous on its own, but now, Dillon would douse it with the last bit of arsenic. In those seconds, as Gavin watched Dillon emerge from the bathroom, something Gavin’s father had said to him years earlier flittered through his mind.
“Son, sometimes being a man means you have to know when to drop the heavy sword you’re holding during a battle. If the reason you’re fighting for is already wounded, you need to count your losses and put a stop to senseless pain. While your head may hang low in defeat, the outcome will end in your favor. Honor isn’t found in victory. It’s found within the wounded reason that needed you from the start.”
Dillon was the battle…
Emily was already wounded…
And here and now, she needed him to concede defeat. He only prayed the outcome would indeed end in his favor. Gavin leaned into Emily, his lips a whisper away from hers. Closing his eyes, he inhaled the vanilla scent of her skin. “I need you to trust me right now, Emily. With everything you have in you, I need you to trust I would never do wrong by you or this baby. Can you do that for me?”
“Yes,” she quietly cried, her breath warm against his face.
“Good. I need you to play along with me starting right now. Get up.”
Emily nodded, her gaze ripping from Gavin’s when Dillon took a seat. She stood, and Gavin slipped from the booth, reaching for her hand.
He looked at Dillon, who appeared confused. Placing his palm on the table, Gavin hunched over, his eyes narrowed. “You think you’ve won, but you haven’t, Dillon. Not only have you tried to insult my intelligence by assuming I’d cave to your psychotic requests before seeking legal counsel, you’ve insulted the woman I love. That really pissed… me… off. You think I’m the type of man who would allow you in the delivery room while you get off on seeing Emily in pain? Wrong again, *. I’d rather die in prison than watch you enjoy any more happiness from her pain.”
Letting go of Emily’s hand, Gavin leaned in closer. Dillon slid away, his back flush against the wall. “While you were draining your snake, I called my family. They’re prepared to take care of Emily and the baby for as long as I’m away. And let me remind you my father’s a lawyer. He also spends weekends playing golf, drinking, and barbequing with some of Manhattan’s highest criminal judges. But that’s not even the best I have for you, Dillon. In all the confusion and mayhem over the last thirty minutes, my head became… twisted. When that happens, I sometimes forget things. It just occurred to me I know some information about you that can send your whole world spinning to the f*cking ground as well.”