Pulse (Collide, #2)(75)
“He didn’t steal me away,” Emily softly spoke up. She looked from Lillian to her hands, tangled nervously with Gavin’s, in her lap. As her thoughts tossed her back to the first second she saw Gavin, she was unable to keep the barest of smiles from her lips. She brought her eyes to his, her gaze stroking his beautiful face. “Well, he did steal my heart away from Dillon. But when that happened… your son wasn’t aware he did it.”
With a light smile that matched hers, Gavin palmed Emily’s cheek, his heart falling further in his chest. Holding his breath, he still couldn’t believe she was his. After a moment, he dropped his hand, inhaled deeply, and glanced at his mother. She seemed more confused than before. “The fact is, our love is so far past the point of return, it’s actually scary. It has been for a while. We just had a few kinks to work out. No, the way we got together wasn’t right in the opinions of some, but I couldn’t care less. I’m pretty sure the woman sitting next to me couldn’t either. We’re in love. A deep, sick, twisted love like they make movies about. We’re looking fear in the face together and telling it to take a hike. This baby might not be mine, but even if it’s not… it is. It’s a piece of Emily, mom, and there’s not a piece of your son that couldn’t love it. There’s not a piece of your son that couldn’t love her.”
As tears soaked Emily’s lashes, she noticed a tear fall from Lillian’s cheek and land with a plop onto the white linen tablecloth. Swallowing, Emily watched Lillian stand, her almond-shaped eyes flashing between her and Gavin.
“I don’t think I can support this relationship,” she choked out though a frown. “I just…” She brought her hand to her throat, stroking her long, delicate fingers across her flesh. She looked at Chad, who released a heavy, defeated sigh and reached for her hand. He squeezed it before she turned and walked out of the room, her sniffles echoing throughout the home until they disappeared into whispers of nothing with the closing of a door.
No longer able to witness the grief she’d brought to this once solid family, Emily scrambled out of her chair, her heart breaking a million times over as she swallowed back a sob.
Gavin surged to his feet, catching Emily’s arm as she headed for the front door. He stroked the hair away from her face. “Wait! Emily, listen to me—”
“No, you listen to me, Gavin.” She cradled his face in her palms, as she gulped for air. “Do you remember telling me you almost picked up the phone to call me when I left you, but you didn’t?”
With confused, worried eyes, Gavin searched her face. “Yes. What does that have to do with this?”
“I hated myself because every time I looked at my phone, I wanted to call you. I wanted so desperately to call and tell you how sorry I was for not believing you, but I couldn’t. Something held me back. You also told me you got in your car and almost drove to my apartment, but you didn’t. I did the same. I jumped in a taxi and had them drive me to your building. I stood outside looking up, wondering what you were doing and fearing who you were doing it with. I wanted so badly to see you. My heart was torn, broken into pieces, Gavin. I felt physical pain while we were apart. I didn’t believe that kind of pain existed. It was something so entirely different than what I felt when I lost my mother. It cut deeper. But I couldn’t bring myself to get in that elevator and go to you. I didn’t want Dillon. I wanted you.”
“Emily, stop.” Gavin gripped her waist, pulling her against his chest. “Why are you saying all of this?”
“I’m saying this because it’s said breaths are stolen during a passionate kiss. That’s not true, Gavin, because I literally can’t breathe before your lips even touch mine. I try, but I’m unable to. I can’t think when you look at me. You strip my mind bare. You always have, and it’s beautiful and consuming. It’s magical and everything a girl is supposed to feel. It’s said you’re truly in love with someone if your skin tingles from their touch. Mine tingles when I hear your voice; I don’t need you to touch me. I can feel you when you’re not near me. I feel you in my dreams. I felt you when you were a thousand miles away.
“You scared me the moment I saw you, and I think it’s because I knew, I just knew, I was going to fall in love you. I didn’t know our worlds were already intertwined, but my heart somehow knew it belonged to you from the start. I didn’t believe a pain so deep existed while we were apart, but I also didn’t believe a love like ours existed. You’ve shown me it does. You’ve shown me good when there was bad. You’ve given me pleasure above all of my pain. You’ve given me life when I thought I was dead.”
Emily paused, tears streaming down her face in a rush. “It’s also said if you love someone enough, you’ll let them go if all you’re doing is causing them pain. That’s all I’ve ever caused you, Gavin. From the moment we met, I’ve turned your world upside down. And now this. I can’t have you not speaking to your mother because of me. I love you enough to let you go so she can continue to love you.”
Gavin recoiled. Feeling knocked off balance, a flash of pain shot through his chest. He swallowed, inhaling a deep, broken breath as he stared into her eyes. “You can’t leave me,” he said, hearing the desperation shaking in his voice.
“I have to,” she choked out, dying from the fear she saw on his face. “I can’t be the reason your family falls apart.”