Pulse (Collide, #2)(62)
Lisa reached out and steadied Emily by her shoulders. “Jesus, are you okay? I was just coming to check on you. I figured I’d give you some time to yourself.”
Breathing frantically, Emily shook her head and hurried into the kitchen. Lisa followed. Assuming Gavin had taken off in the car he’d bought her, Emily swiped Lisa’s keys from a hook on the wall next to the refrigerator.
“Where are you going?” Lisa asked.
“I have to find him,” Emily breathed, making her way toward the garage.
“He never left.”
Lisa’s words stopped Emily in her tracks. She whipped around. “What?”
“I mean, he didn’t drive away. I think he took a walk down by the pier.”
Emily’s heart stilled for a moment as she replaced the keys on the hook. But that only lasted for a second because as she turned, her heart rate picked back up as she approached the French doors off the side of the den. Swimming in a sea of hurt, she swung them open and stepped out into the cool night air. Shivering from a breeze skirting off the ocean, Emily threw on her jacket and started up a hill, just beyond her sister’s home, leading to weathered wooden stairs.
It didn’t take her long to spot Gavin, and when she did, her breath caught. As Lisa thought, he was sitting on a bench down by the pier, the ambient glow from a dockside light shining above his body. He looked like an angel, but she knew he was in hell. Overlooking the ocean and the man she loved, tiny beads of sweat formed along her forehead. With the wind blowing through her hair, Emily brought her hands up to her mouth and sucked in a breath, trying to find the courage she needed to go to him. Somewhere between remembering what they had been together and what they were always meant to be, Emily found that courage. Up until now, Gavin might’ve only represented a small part of her past, but she needed him to fill every second, minute, and hour of her future, and she wasn’t about to let him go for anything. She couldn’t. She refused.
Gripping the rusty metal railing, she slowly started down the stairs, her pulse fluttering with each step she took. By the time she made it to the sand, Gavin stood from the bench, catching her gaze. In an instant, Emily froze, her breath faltering. As the waves kicked up, pounding against the pier, she watched Gavin make his way toward her. He shoved his hands in his pockets, his eyes locking on hers as he stopped a few feet away. Even with distance separating them, Emily could feel his heart burning through her, felt the undeniable connection they shared.
“I love you, Emily Cooper.” He paused, looked at the ground, then back to her. “I think I loved you before I knew you existed.” His voice was so soft, Emily could barely hear him. He stepped closer and brought his hand to her cheek, his touch gentle as his blue eyes caressed hers. “I’m pretty sure you were in my dreams before you walked into my life. I felt it the first time I saw you. You pulled at me. Took hold of my heart and never let go. Even if you had, I wouldn’t have let you. I wouldn’t have been able to. Something about you was… familiar, and it scared the shit out of me, but I knew somehow we needed one another. I’ve never been a man who believed in any type of fate. I considered it fluffy bullshit women read in romance novels, but sitting down here for the last couple of hours, I started thinking about you and me. Our romance. Our novel.” Once again he paused, his head tilted as he wiped away a tear that’d trickled down her cheek. “Did you know I was supposed to go on that trip to Ohio with Trevor when you were in school?”
“I did,” she whispered. Though her nerves started to calm, she wasn’t sure if this was his goodbye. “Olivia told me.”
“Right.” Stepping closer, he wrapped his arm around her waist and brushed his lips against hers. “You were never supposed to be with Dillon. You were always supposed to wind up with me, but fate interrupted us for a while. This baby may not be mine, but it’s a piece of something I need in my life. Something I’ll cherish even after I’m long gone. I wasn’t kidding when I said the good, the bad, and the in between. This is just our… in between right now.” A small cry escaped Emily’s lips, and God, Gavin’s heart broke. Melted. “Standing here before you tonight, I give you my word as a man, as your friend, and as your lover, if this baby isn’t mine, I’ll love it no less than I do the angel carrying it. I can’t tell you I’m not scared because that would be a lie, and I promised you I’d never lie to you. I’m scared to death, and I know you are too. So, Miss Cooper, if you’ll forgive me for acting like an * by leaving you alone while I got my head on straight, the next few months, you and I are going to be absolutely scared to f*cking death together. No matter what, we’ll figure it out. Sound like a deal?”
Body warm and breath stolen, Emily nodded and pulled him down to her mouth. She’d stepped out of her sister’s home swimming in a sea of hurt and confusion. But now, as she stood on this beautiful Christmas night kissing the man who would stay by her side through anything, she was drowning in a sea of relief so deep, words couldn’t even begin to describe it.
The New Year had come and gone, bringing with it a mountain of emotions for Emily. As she sat in her doctor’s office, holding Gavin’s hand, Emily couldn’t help but wonder what it was like for her mother when she’d found out she was pregnant with her. Given her father started showing signs of abuse somewhat late in their marriage, Emily’s mother never hid the fact that Emily was an unplanned pregnancy. Her intentions were to leave Emily’s father shortly before she found out she was having another baby with him. Nonetheless, she always told Emily she was the greatest surprise of her life. That simple statement rang loud in Emily’s ears as the receptionist called her up to the window to fill out paperwork.