Pulse (Collide, #2)(35)
“Shmexy.” Emily laughed. “Well, what can I help you with, Mr. Shmexy?”
“Bring this to the table.” Gavin plucked a basket of garlic bread from the counter.
“That’s it?” she asked. Walking away, she set it on the table. “There’s nothing else I can do for you?”
Grinning, Gavin leaned against the counter and crossed his arms. “How can you make such a simple, innocent question sound so sexual?”
Wearing a grin of her own, Emily placed her hands on her hips. “Maybe it’s a gift?”
Gavin bit his lip and moved toward her. Standing inches from her body, he whispered in her ear, “Can I unwrap it, then?”
Emily drew in a shuddering breath at the feel of his soft voice so close to her. “We have to eat first.”
“See? You just did it again, Miss Cooper.” He lifted his hand to her neck. Massaging his fingers into her hair, his eyes glassed over with a want Emily couldn’t mistake. “You know I love eating… dessert.”
Heat curled through Emily, settling in her stomach. God, he made himself nearly irresistible. Blowing out the breath she was holding, she shook her head. “You, sir, need to learn how to control yourself.” Trying to exercise her own self-control, but more concerned about the dramatic turn the conversation was about to take, Emily backed away and settled into her chair.
With slight shock in his eyes, Gavin watched her for a second and then turned back to the stove. “You deplete me of any control I’ve ever had.” He strained the pasta and poured some tomato sauce on it. “But you know this already.”
Truth. There it was smashed right in her face. Emily knew he couldn’t control himself around her, and although she felt the very same way on so many levels, in that moment, she couldn’t stomach that he wanted her. She couldn’t stomach herself. Her question hit the air before she could think about it. “Why, Gavin?” She looked up from the table. “Why would you choose me? You can have any woman you want. Why me?”
Turning, Gavin drew his brows together. “Why wouldn’t I want you, Emily?”
She lifted her shoulder in a casual shrug. “Because there’s absolutely nothing to me. I’m weak in so many ways, and you… you’re strong.” Emily paused, shifting in her seat. “Nothing about me fits what you need or deserve.”
Gavin stood perfectly still, his stare unwavering. “Why are you saying all of this?”
“I can list more reasons why you shouldn’t want me.” Another shrug as she stared at him.
“I don’t want you to list any more bullshit reasons why you think I shouldn’t want you.” He moved to her, completely unknowing where all of this was coming from. Reaching for her hand, he gently pulled her up from the chair. His eyes danced over her face. “Do you want me to list the reasons why I need you, Emily? Because that’s what you are to me. You’re a need. Not a want.” Tears welling in her eyes, and lips trembling, Emily shook her head and started to speak, but Gavin cut her off. He cupped her cheeks, drawing her face closer to his. “I’m not sure you’ll ever understand, but I told you I need you more than I need my next breath. Since the day we met, from the second I laid eyes on you, there’s never been anyone else worth taking up a f*cking inch of space in my mind.” He stroked his thumbs along her lips, laying his own against her forehead. “God created me to love you. Let me heal the cracks in your heart. I know this broken woman didn’t exist before Dillon. I refuse to believe that.”
Love over lies. Trust over mistrust. Heart breaking and swelling, Emily pulled in a deep breath. “I lied to you,” she croaked, wiping tears from her eyes.
Gavin swallowed down a sudden feeling of unease, slowly dropping his hands from her face. “Wait… what? What did you lie to me about?”
His gaze burned into Emily, making her step back. Mind in turmoil and unable to breathe, nausea hit her with pounding force. Cupping her hand over her mouth, Emily bolted toward the bathroom, nearly tripping over moving boxes scattered throughout the penthouse.
“Emily,” Gavin called, following her.
She reached the bathroom, slammed the door, and locked it. Hunched over the toilet, she dry heaved repeatedly. Her stomach had been void of any food over the last several hours, so nothing came up.
Gavin banged on the door, worry evident in his tone. “Emily, let me in.”
Another vicious lurch plowed through her stomach. She shook her head and stared into the toilet. “I… I need a second, Gavin.”
“No, Emily,” he retorted, jiggling the handle. “Open the door. Now.”
Though she heard the concern in his voice, she also heard authority, and she didn’t put it past him to break in if she didn’t do what he asked. Straightening, Emily drew in a gulp of air and inched over to the door. With so many emotions pummeling through her, she couldn’t decipher if she was coming or going. Eyes glassed over, she swung open the door. Her words belted from her mouth before Gavin had a chance to speak. “Did you know one in three women wind up in a mentally or physically abusive relationship?”
Though his muscles tensed immediately, and blood raced within his veins, Gavin stared back wordlessly.
Sniffling, Emily nodded. “But the funny part is, it doesn’t start off that way. It starts off wonderful, as close to everything you imagined something solid should be. Then little by little, the relationship changes, and you wonder if you’re going crazy. You literally start to question your own sanity. One minute, the person you’re in love with is kind and caring, and the next, they’re flipping out. The first few times you write it off, assuming they’re having a bad day, but then it becomes a regular pattern of behavior. The person on the receiving end isn’t oblivious to it but starts blaming themselves.”