Protect the Prince (Crown of Shards #2)(88)

*

I hashed out a few more details with Xenia, then returned to my own chambers. Paloma was waiting there, along with Serilda and Cho. I filled them in on my plan, along with my decision not to tell Sullivan about it.

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Paloma frowned, as did the ogre on her neck. “He could help us search for the traitor.”

“I realize that, but he also knows everyone at Glitnir. He’s too close to this. I can’t risk him saying the wrong thing to the wrong person.”

Paloma shook her head. “It’s your funeral.”

Serilda and Cho shook their heads as well, agreeing with her. They might not like it, but they would keep my secret.

A sharp knock sounded, but before I could tell the person to enter, the doors burst inward, and Sullivan stormed inside. Given his clenched jaw, he’d already heard about my engagement to Dominic. I hadn’t expected him to be happy about it, but seeing the raw, naked hurt on his face and smelling his ashy heartbreak almost changed my mind about my plan. Almost.

But queens didn’t have the luxury of backtracking or indulging their feelings, and I had to be strong right now, not only for Bellona but for him too, whether he realized it or not.

“Hello, Sully. Come on in.”

He looked at me a moment, then focused on Paloma, Serilda, and Cho. His hot, angry gaze flicked to all of them in turn. Their features were as tense as his were, and Sullivan realized that we had all been talking about him.

“So it’s true. You’ve accepted my father’s offer. You’re engaged to Dominic.” He spat out the last few words as though they left a foul taste in his mouth.

“Yes. I was just telling everyone of my decision.”

“Telling everyone but me.”

“I was going to tell you. In private. But you didn’t give me the chance.”

He let out a bitter laugh. “No, I suppose I didn’t.”

I looked at the others. “Will you excuse us? I’d like to speak to Sully alone.”

Paloma, Serilda, and Cho gave Sullivan sympathetic looks and left the chambers. Cho shut the doors behind them, leaving me alone with the bastard prince.

Sullivan stared at me again. “So it’s true,” he repeated, his voice much duller and softer than before.

I didn’t want to do this. I didn’t want to lie, and I especially didn’t want to hurt him. But I couldn’t be Evie right now. No, right now, I had to be a queen, and my heart had to be as cold and hard as the tearstone crown on my head.

“I have to do what’s best for Bellona,” I said, trying to explain without actually telling him what was going on.

Sullivan’s hurt and anger slowly melted into stunned disbelief and then twisted into outright disgust. He scrubbed his hand through his hair. “I knew that you would eventually marry someone. I just didn’t think it would happen so quickly—or that it would be Dominic.”

I didn’t respond, and he let out another low, bitter laugh.

“Getting passed over for one of my legitimate brothers. I should have expected this. Sometimes, I think it’s all I should ever expect. At least then, I would never be disappointed,” he growled. “I really should have learned this lesson by now. Especially since it already happened to me once before.”

I stiffened at the obvious insult. “I am nothing like Helene.”

“At this moment, I think that you are exactly like her.” A sad, resigned expression filled his face, although it too quickly slipped away, replaced by more anger. “Or maybe not. At least she had the decency to wait until after I’d left Glitnir to get engaged to my brother.”

This time, I couldn’t stop myself from flinching at his words. “It’s not like that. Besides, you know this isn’t my idea.”

“No, it’s my father’s. I don’t know if that makes it better or worse. But you didn’t have to say yes to him, or to marrying my brother.”

His eyes darkened, a muscle ticked in his jaw, and his hands clenched into fists again. I didn’t know who he was angry at now—his father or me. Probably both of us. At the very least, he thought that I’d betrayed him, even though we had never made any promises to each other. But I would have felt the same, if our positions had been reversed.

“It doesn’t really matter whose idea it was,” I said. “Only that I believe this is for the best. Just give it a chance; just give me a chance.”

I’d wanted to reassure him, maybe even give him some small hint that things were not what they seemed, but my words made him even more disgusted. A bit of lightning flashed in his eyes, his mouth flattened into a hard, unforgiving line, and the hot, peppery scent of his anger stung my nose and brought tears to my eyes. At least, that’s what I told myself, instead of admitting that the tears were the product of my own turbulent emotions.

“I shouldn’t have given you any chances, highness.” He spat out the nickname as if he never wanted to say it again. “Not the first bloody one. Not after I found out who you really were, and especially not after you took the throne. I always knew there was something different about you, but by the time I realized what it was, what you were, it was too late for me.”

“Then why did you give me a chance?” I asked.

“Because you were always making me smile and laugh, even when you were doing something as ridiculous as commandeering my jacket or stealing my pillow. You were always there. Always fighting. Always challenging me and yourself in the gladiator ring and out of it. Even after you found out that I was a bastard prince, you never treated me any differently. Not for one second. And that was so unexpected, so refreshing, so amazing to me.” Sullivan shook his head, as though he was deeply disappointed in himself. “I couldn’t help but be caught up by all of that, be caught up by you.”