Protect the Prince (Crown of Shards #2)(70)

My heart squeezed tight, but I nodded. “Yes. It sounded like it ended . . . badly.”

“That’s one way of putting it,” he said, echoing his own harsh words.

Sullivan shoved his hands into the pockets of his long gray coat and started pacing. He made a few passes back and forth before he spoke again.

“The Blumes are one of the wealthiest and most powerful families in Andvari, so Helene grew up at court with me and my brothers. We were all a little bit in love with her at one time or another. Dominic and Frederich eventually grew out of it and moved on to other women, but I never did. I always loved her, and she loved me back.” His steps slowed. “At least I thought she did.”

“Until she called off your engagement.”

He nodded and resumed his pacing. “The older my brothers and I got, the more obvious it became that I was the bastard son, the bastard prince, and that’s all I would ever be. That my brothers would always be held in higher regard, that I would never have any real power or influence at court, and that the other nobles would never treat me as an equal. Marcus, Helene’s father, never liked me, and he wanted more for himself and his daughter, more power, money, and influence than I would ever have.”

“So he forced her to break off your engagement,” I said.

“Yes. I loved Helene, and I was devastated when she said that she couldn’t marry me. I told her that I didn’t care about her father, or his money, or having power at court, or anything else—that I only cared about her.”

Once again, his steps slowed, and anguish filled his face. It took him a moment to resume his pacing and his story.

“So I asked Helene to run away with me. I told her that as long as we loved each other, everything else would work itself out. But of course Helene’s father got wind of it, and he threatened to disinherit her, along with her younger sisters. She told me that she couldn’t leave them with nothing. I understood that, truly I did, and I probably would have done the same for my mother, if our positions had been reversed.”

“But?”

He let out a tense breath. “But part of me has always thought that Helene didn’t want to end up with nothing either. That her father’s money meant just a little bit more to her than I did.”

The raw, naked hurt in his voice made my own heart ache, but I didn’t respond. Nothing I could say would take away his pain.

“After Helene refused to run away with me, I packed my things and left the palace,” Sullivan said. “I didn’t have a real plan or destination in mind, except to get as far away from Helene and Glitnir as possible. A few weeks later, I wound up in a town where the Black Swan troupe was performing. Cho spotted me in the crowd. He knew who I was and asked me to have a drink with him and Serilda after the show. Somehow, I ended up telling them my whole sad story. Serilda asked me to join the troupe that night, and I’ve been with the Black Swan ever since.”

Of course Cho had recognized Sullivan and realized that his magic, fighting skills, and connections would make him a fine addition to the troupe. But I was willing to bet that Serilda’s magic had also told her much more about him, that she’d gotten some hint or glimpse of how Sullivan might influence future events. After all, Serilda had known that Vasilia would one day kill Cordelia, even when Vasilia was just a girl. I wondered what Serilda had seen about Sullivan that had made her bring him into her troupe.

“Eventually, I heard that Helene was engaged to Frederich. The news didn’t really surprise me, but it still hurt, much more than I expected. It was just another instance where I had been passed over for one of my brothers, for one of the legitimate princes.”

Sullivan shook his head, as though he was trying to push away his bad memories. “I’ve been back to Glitnir several times over the years to visit my mother, but only when I knew that Helene wasn’t at court. But now here I am with Helene again, while Frederich is dead.”

He let out another harsh laugh. “You were wrong before at dinner, highness. Life isn’t a game. It’s a fucking joke, and only the gods are laughing.”

I didn’t want to cause him any more pain, but I needed an answer about something, not just for my head but for my heart too. “Did you have any idea what your father was planning? That he was going to demand that I marry Dominic?”

Sullivan jerked to a stop, and he grabbed the bedpost again, as if he once again needed something to hold on to. “No,” he said in a low, strained voice. “I didn’t know about his plan, but it doesn’t surprise me. In some ways, my father is just as ambitious and ruthless as the Mortan king. I’m sorry he blindsided you.”

“That’s the way these courtly games are played. It wasn’t your fault. None of this is your fault. It’s not anyone’s fault, except for Maeven and her damned Bastard Brigade.”

I paused, wondering if I should ask the other questions on my mind, but I didn’t want to play games with Sullivan, so I voiced my thoughts. “You and Dominic seem to be on good terms, though.”

Sullivan pushed away from the bedpost, but instead of resuming his pacing, he went over to the balcony doors, leaned his arm up against one of them, and stared out through the glass into the dark night.

“I love Dominic. He’s always been a good brother. He and Frederich always treated me like I was one of them, like we were all equal, even though we all knew we weren’t. Dominic was the most important, since he was the heir. Then Frederich, since he was the spare. And then there was me, somewhere far, far below.”