Protect the Prince (Crown of Shards #2)(18)

Sullivan’s gaze flicked from one stone to another, staring at the linked hearts and initials. His mouth twisted a bit, as though he wished he’d never asked about the carving. Part of me wished he hadn’t asked either, since it only highlighted the differences between us. Andvarian, Bellonan, bastard, queen. Things that no fairy-tale climb up some cliffs would ever truly change.

I cleared my throat. “But of course, it doesn’t always end happily.”

“No?”

I gestured at another stone that featured one heart that had been broken in two, along with two initials. “That one is for a nobleman named Elric. He fell to his death during the climb.”

Sullivan grimaced.

“Elric is the only one who ever actually died,” I continued. “Although lots of people have broken their arms and legs.”

He eyed the jagged cliffs again. “I can’t imagine why.”

“The climb has ended in other ways too.” I gestured at another stone that featured a single heart with a large S carved in the middle. “That one is for Sabrina, one of my Blair cousins. She was an orphan like me, with no real family or money. She climbed up to the top.”

“What happened?”

I shrugged. “Sabrina’s lover was waiting up here, but she decided not to marry him after all. She said that if he was more concerned about being disinherited than losing her, then he could keep his bloody money, and she would marry someone who truly loved her, someone who would fight for her, someone who would climb the cliffs for her, instead of the other way around. She’s the most famous person to complete the Pureheart trial, other than Killian.”

That story finally put a smile back on Sullivan’s face, and some of the tension eased from his shoulders. “Do people still climb the cliffs to declare their love?”

“Not really. The last time anyone tried was about thirty years ago. A man started to climb up, but he chickened out. His lover was so angry that she told him to slink away like the coward he was, and that man was never seen nor heard from again.”

Sullivan laughed. I concentrated on the low, husky sound, trying to imprint it on my mind the same way I had his scent and the icy color of his eyes and the curve of his face whenever he smiled.

“Well, one thing is for sure,” he murmured, staring down at the cliffs again.

“What?”

“You’d have to be desperately in love to do something that stupid and dangerous.”

He kept his gaze fixed on the cliffs, but my heart still squeezed tight. The stories might be grand and romantic, but we both knew that love didn’t always fix things. Sometimes, it just made them worse.

“You should go back inside, highness.” Sullivan jerked his head to the right. “Your storytelling has drawn an audience.”

I glanced over my shoulder. Several nobles were now milling around the lawn, pretending to admire the flowers while not-so-secretly spying on me.

Fullman and Diante were among the watchers, and neither seemed pleased to see me with Sullivan. Fullman was glaring at the magier, while Diante’s arms were crossed over her chest. The two nobles still had aspirations of marrying me off to one of their broods.

To my surprise, Serilda was here as well, lounging on a bench with a glass of blackberry sangria, while Cho was standing next to her, eating cakes from a small tray. Both of them were watching me with amused expressions. No doubt they had seen this kind of drama play out dozens of times during their years as Queen Cordelia’s guards. Unfortunately, doomed love was a rather universal story, no matter what station or kingdom you were born into.

Including their own. Serilda and Cho obviously cared deeply about each other. I even thought that they loved each other, and I had no idea what was stopping them from being together. Perhaps the same mix of duty, honor, and pride that had come between Sully and me.

Despite her smile, Serilda’s eyes narrowed in thought, and I could sense the faintest bit of magic wafting off her. In addition to being a fierce warrior, Serilda was also a sort of time magier, although she didn’t get visions of the past or future like other magiers did. Instead, she saw possibilities, different ways that people might act and react, and different things that might come to pass based on the choices that people made.

I wondered what she saw when she looked at Sullivan and me. Heartbreak, most likely. That’s all I could see when I looked at him.

Serilda drained her sangria, set her glass on the bench, and got to her feet. Cho popped the last of the cakes into his mouth and put down his empty tray.

I sighed, knowing that my brief respite was over and that it was once again time for Queen Everleigh to do her duty. “I should go.”

“Thank you for telling me those stories,” Sullivan said in a soft voice.

Our gazes locked, and I drew in a breath, tasting his scent again. Full of minty regret, just like mine was.

Sullivan stretched out his fingers, as though he was going to cover my hand with his, but at the last moment, he curled his hand into a fist, just as I had done earlier. He wouldn’t touch me like that, not with so many people watching, no matter how much he might want to.

I looked down at our hands, his on one side of the carved hearts and mine on the other. So close, yet so far apart. That’s the way it would always be between us.

And that hurt my own heart more than I’d ever thought possible.