Playing Hard to Get(84)

But I’m also relieved. I don’t like thinking one of my best friends is so mad at me she refuses to talk to me. That was almost too much to bear.

“We are so ridiculous.” Natalie pushes off the couch and throws out her arms, making grabby motions with her hands. “Come to mama.”

I go to her and we embrace, clinging to each other for an almost embarrassing amount of time, but the relief is so strong, I’m afraid I’m going to cry.

I actually do tear up, and when I finally pull away from her, I notice Nat’s eyes are glassy too.

“Next time, just come to me,” she says with a watery laugh.

“Right back at you,” I tell her, and we both smile.

“Now sit down and tell me all about Knox Maguire and how many positions that guy has had you in so far.” Leave it to Nat to ask the most personal question first. “I can only imagine how creative he must be.”

I fall onto the couch with her and fill her in, only leaving a few details out. The ones I want to keep just for myself.

Like how sweet he is. That dreamy look that he sometimes gets in his eyes when he’s looking at me. How forceful he can be too. How he growls or manhandles me when we’re having sex.

The manhandling sounds worse than it is. I just love how he moves me around on the bed, getting me into position. Or how he lifts me up and carries me around as if I don’t weigh a thing. I know I have fuck the patriarchy written in permanent ink on my skin, but there is something so deliciously masculine in the way he touches me. Takes care of me.

I can’t get enough of it.

“I have something to tell you,” Natalie says, her voice breaking through my thoughts. “And I wanted to make sure and tell you this in person.”

“What is it?” Dread makes my stomach twist.

“Bryan reached out to me about a week ago.”

“WHAT?” I practically scream the word, making her wince, and I immediately feel bad. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to yell, I’m just—so shocked. How did he contact you? When? What did he say?”

“He DM’d me a few days ago. We’ve been following each other since freshman year, you know? He was your boyfriend, so we would like each other’s posts. Reply to each other’s stories sometimes. It was all harmless.”

“What are you trying to say?” My stomach is now tangled into a knot. “He didn’t try to hit on you, did he?”

“No, not at all. He asked me if you were doing okay.”

“Please tell me you said I’m doing fabulous and getting railed on a nightly basis by a gorgeous football player.” Oh my God, have I completely changed or what? I would’ve never wanted something like that to come out a few months ago, especially to my ex-boyfriend. Now I’ve got my fingers crossed that Nat told him exactly that.

Even better, in true Natalie fashion, she might’ve given him even more graphic details.

“I didn’t say you were getting railed nightly.” She laughs. “But I did tell him you were kind of seeing someone.”

Kind of? Ugh, that’s not strong enough. But that’s not Nat’s fault.

“What did he say?” I shouldn’t care what he thinks about me. I already know what he thinks—he never really loved me like I thought he did. Or the feelings faded…

“He said he was glad you’re happy.”

“That’s it?” I feel like that can’t be it.

“Well, he kept talking to me, so I dug for information, like a good best friend would, right?”

I would do the exact same thing for her. “What else did he tell you?”

“That he and Clara broke up.”

“WHAT?” That’s the second time I’ve screamed that word, but I can’t help it. Natalie is dropping bombs left and right on me. “They broke up?”

She nods. “I guess she dumped him. Left him with that apartment and a lease he can’t get out of. Now he’s completely freaking out and trying to find a roommate.”

“That’s called karma.” I don’t even feel bad. “Why did she leave? Did he tell you?”

“Oh, I asked, but he kind of hedged around that question. He did mention that they had a huge fight, but he didn’t expect her to just walk out like that.”

I think about how calm our last encounter was. When he told me he wanted to end things because he’d met someone else. How quietly devastated I was, but I tried to keep everything inside. I didn’t want to fall apart in front of him. I didn’t want him to think he had that much power over me.

How would I react if Knox told me he didn’t want to see me anymore?

The mere thought almost has me choking up.

“I don’t feel bad for him.” My voice is flat.

“I don’t either. He’s a giant dickhead.” The meaningful look Nat sends me immediately fills me with worry. “I feel like he’s sniffing around you, Jo.”

“What exactly do you mean?” I ask carefully.

“I wouldn’t be surprised if he came crawling back and begged for your forgiveness.”

I absolutely hate the idea of that. “I won’t take him back.”

“I know you won’t, but that probably won’t stop him from trying.”