Playing Hard to Get(78)

I didn’t even protest. Why would I? It was a total relief, Knox handing over that money and revealing that we’re…together. He claims none of his friends have really asked about me or what’s going on between us, but I have a hard time believing that. I let it go, though. I’m sure I’m overthinking it.

Typical behavior on my part, ugh.

Even with us constantly having sex, it’s not hurting his gameplay at all, and he’s doing well in school too. The tutoring sessions are working, and I gave him the login to my Audible account, so he can download whatever books he needs to read for class and he pays me via Venmo for the cost.

My mood has improved since spending all of my time with Knox. I’m happier. Maybe the happiest I’ve ever been, and sometimes that scares me, because what if it ends? What if he leaves me? I’m afraid I’ll be even more devastated than when Bryan and I broke up.

When we’re not busy, we spend every waking moment together. And not just having sex either. We go out to eat and we hang out with Cam and his other friends from the team. We hide away in his bedroom and try to watch movies or binge-watch a show, but he’s so distracting. Always kissing me, sliding his hands beneath my clothes.

I don’t say anything because I don’t want to jinx it, but it’s almost like he’s…

My boyfriend.

“You’re keeping secrets and I don’t like it.” Leon’s voice draws me from my Knox-induced daze and I note the stern look he’s sending my way. “Confess all, Jo Jo potato. I need to know what’s going on in your private life.”

I haven’t said much to Leon because I haven’t worked with him in a while. It does feel like forever since we’ve talked.

Gossiped.

“Nothing much,” I evade, like the giant liar I am. “I’m seeing Knox a lot.”

“During your tutoring sessions?” Leon’s eyebrows shoot up.

“Sure.” I shrug a shoulder.

His brows climb farther.

“And other times too,” I add. My cheeks now hot.

“Are you guys like…dating?” He sounds shocked.

“I don’t know what to call it.” Casually hanging out? Bed buddies? Though we don’t just do it in bed. He kind of wants to fuck me anywhere he can have me. And I let him.

I guess that means we’re fuck buddies. God, that sounds harsh.

“He’s not just using you for sex, is he?”

I used to worry about that, but I eventually had a talk with myself. If he wanted to use someone for sex, he could use the many, many someones who are always willing to give it up to him. He wouldn’t need to stick with one girl, when he could have his pick.

Knox Maguire likes me. I can see it in his eyes when I catch him staring. I can feel it in the way he holds me. Kisses me. How he takes care of me. The things he says.

He cares. And oh God, this is so scary to admit, even to myself, but I care too.

Probably too much.

This man is holding my already fragile heart in his hands and I wonder if he even knows it.

“No,” I say firmly, believing in myself. Believing in Knox’s unstated feelings. Actions speak louder than words, right? “I think he actually likes me.”

Leon’s expression softens and he slowly shakes his head. “There’s a lot to like about you, Jo. You don’t give yourself enough credit.”

I’m trying. It’s a struggle, but I’m working on myself. Working on believing in myself and what I can do. What kind of person I am and what I have to offer to others.

“I’m working on that,” I tell Leon, and the smile on his face tells me he’s glad to hear it.

“You’re worth about a million Knox Maguires, so I hope you realize that. That boy is kind of a manwhore.” Leon sniffs, sounding like a snob.

“How are you and Lani?” Yes, they’re Leon and Lani and they’re just as cute as their names sound together. They’ve been a couple for almost a year now and Leon is totally into her.

His expression falters and my heart pangs at that look on his face.

Uh oh.

“Um, not so great. I think we’re going to break up.” He winces.

“Oh no! Why?”

“Because I’ve met someone else and…I’m confused.”

“Leon.” I’m shocked. “You’re not cheating on her, are you?”

“No, I would never. I love her.” He looks miserable. “I just don’t think I’m in love with her anymore, you know? All I can think about is this other person.”

“What’s her name?”

“That’s the thing.” He sighs, leaning in closer to me, his voice dropping a few octaves. “It’s a him.”

Leon told me before he’s bisexual. He falls in love with a person, not their gender is what he explained to me, and I love that about him. He’s open and accepting of everyone, even that so-called manwhore Knox. Ha.

A group of three women enter the bookstore, essentially ending our very private conversation.

“Let’s go grab coffee after we close,” I suggest. Knox will still be at practice and I’ll most likely go to his apartment later. Poor Cam, having to deal with us all the time.

He’s been leaving the apartment more and more, disappearing for long hours, and sometimes not even coming home for the night. Knox is sure he’s found a girl that he’s seeing on the down-low, while I think he’s just trying to get away from us, so he doesn’t haven’t to listen to our sexcapades every night.