Playing Hard to Get(29)

“I’m not mad,” I say softly.

He nods, working his jaw.

“I get what you’re saying,” I continue.

His gaze flits to mine. “You do?” He sounds shocked.

“Well…yeah. It’s been a long time for me too.” I crack a smile, trying to make him feel better. “I’m basically celibate like you.”

His brows draw together. “Why?” He shakes his head once, muttering under his breath, “Don’t answer that. It’s none of my business.”

“It’s fine.” He really needs to lighten up. “My boyfriend and I broke up over the summer.”

“Oh. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.” I shrug one shoulder. “He was cheating on me.”

His expression turns ferocious. “What an asshole.”

“Yep.” I enthusiastically nod my agreement.

“Where is he? I can kick his ass if you want me to.”

From the fierceness of his tone, I believe he would actually do that for me. Lucky for Bryan, he’s not on campus.

“That won’t be necessary. He doesn’t go here.”

“You were in a long-distance relationship?”

“Yeah, during the entire time we’ve been in college.”

“Whoa.” He rears back a little. “That must’ve been hard.”

“Extremely difficult. We went months without seeing each other sometimes. It was tough.”

“So you haven’t had sex for months.” He whistles low. Love how he refocuses on that fact. “Unless you’ve been hooking—”

“No hookups.” I wrinkle my nose. “I wasn’t ready yet.”

“Still not ready?”

“Probably not.” Maybe not? I don’t know.

I do know this man tempts me, though.

“Yeah.” He reaches for the hat he left on the table, shoving it on his head. Backwards yet again and I get a little lost in how cute he is. Why do men look so appealing wearing their hats like that? “That’s pretty understandable.”

“You think so?”

“Well, sure.” He makes a face, like he has no idea what he’s talking about.

I burst out laughing. “No, Knox. I really don’t think you do.”

He chuckles, shaking his head. “How long were you two together?”

“Since the end of our senior year in high school. So almost three years.”

“Wow, that’s a long time.”

“But the amount of time we actually saw each other wasn’t that much. It was very much an online relationship.”

Knox frowns. “What do you mean?”

“We texted all the time. Talked on FaceTime. Sometimes on the phone. When we saw each other, it was usually only during breaks or special occasions. Birthdays, Valentine’s Day—though that was a stretch. Last winter break, I stayed on campus for most of it because of my job at the bookstore.”

“I can’t imagine having a relationship like that.”

“Never again,” I agree. “Next guy I end up with, he’s at least going to live in the same city as I do. And we’ll see each other all the time. Spend lots of time together.”

I think back on my relationship with Bryan, how we weren’t together much. How our sex life was kind of lackluster. At first, it was all fiery passion, and we couldn’t get enough of each other. We were teenage horn dogs, sneaking around the entire summer after we graduated high school. I was scared to lose him, desperate to keep him interested, and willing to do just about anything to make him want me all the time.

Once he went away to college, the passion cooled. The last time I saw him—prior to our breakup—I can’t remember if we had sex. I’m pretty sure we didn’t.

I don’t recall us even kissing.

“I haven’t been in a real relationship since high school.” His smile is faint. “And even then, it wasn’t much, you know? Never that serious.”

“You don’t do serious?”

“Not really.” He smothers a laugh with his fingers, rubbing his hand across his mouth. “I can’t believe I’m talking about my sex life with my tutor.”

“Hey, everything that happens in this room stays in this room, remember?”

His gaze turns heated the longer he stares at me. As if he’s having all sorts of dirty thoughts and they all star…me. “How could I forget?”





TWELVE





KNOX





“I think I’m hot for my tutor.” I drop onto the couch right next to Cam. He’s playing video games, his gaze laser-focused on the big screen TV in front of him, his fingers flying over the buttons on the controller.

Normally, I’d be playing with him, but I don’t feel like it. I can’t concentrate for shit. All I can think about is the conversation I had with Joanna yesterday. How I started it by rubbing my leg against hers, like we’re in middle school.

What the fuck is wrong with me?

Cam hits pause so he can focus on me. “Hot for who?”

“My tutor. Joanna. The girl at the bookstore.” I sound miserable. I feel miserable.