Playing Hard to Get(101)

“I’m glad I didn’t go. What if Knox picks up on what’s happening between them? I wouldn’t want to be around for that.”

We get out of the car, clutching our coats around us as we start hurrying toward our apartment building. It’s freezing outside and snow is in the forecast, but not until the early morning hours.

As we approach our door, I swear I see someone sitting in front of it. I grab hold of Natalie’s arm, stopping her from walking farther.

She casts me a weird look. “What’s wrong with you?”

I tug her so we’re semi-standing behind a bush, waving toward our front door. “Is there someone standing there?”

Natalie squints into the darkness, her eyes going wider when she does, indeed, spot someone. Just like I thought. “Oh shit. You think it’s a homeless guy?”

“I don’t know.” We’re clutching at each other, slowly backing away from our building when the person walks down the steps and starts heading toward us. “Oh no, he’s coming right for us.”

“Joanna! Wait!”

I know that voice. It’s familiar.

Oh God.

“It’s Bryan,” I whisper to Natalie, whose eyes are so wide I swear they’re going to fall out of her head.

“Joanna.” He jogs toward us, coming to a stop, his gaze taking me in from head to toe. His expression is one of thinly-veiled horror and I realize I’m still in my football-watching gear and I have paint all over my face. “Hey.”

Hey. Like it’s no big deal he showed up on my doorstep on a freezing cold Saturday night.

“What are you doing here?” I ask him, surprised by how much hostility there is in my voice. I can tell Natalie is angry too, but you know what?

Fuck it. He deserves it.

“I wanted to talk to you. Before it was too late.”

“Before what was too late, Bryan? Huh?”

“I’ll, um, just leave you two alone.” Natalie starts to head for our front door, but I grab her hand, sending her a pleading look.

“Please stay. I need a witness to the bullshit.”

She stares at me, finally giving in with a slight nod.

“I want to talk to you in private,” Bryan insists.

“Whatever you want to say to me, you can say it right here in front of her.”

He glances around, his teeth chattering slightly. How long has he been out here? “Can we go into your apartment?”

“No. If you have something to say, say it. Right here. Right now.” I cross my arms, feeling defensive.

I can’t believe we’ve come to this.

“I miss you,” he admits, his voice low. “I miss you and I’m an idiot for breaking up with you. I regret everything and I know you’ll probably say no, but please hear me out and give me another chance.”

I stare him dead in the face and murmur, “No.”

Then I start walking.

Natalie keeps pace with me, eventually jogging ahead, so she can unlock our door, with Bryan right on my heels.

“Come on, Jo. Like I said, hear me out. I can explain everything.”

“I don’t want to hear it. I don’t care about your explanations, or what you have to say. I’m over you. I have another man’s number painted on my cheek and I freaking hate football. But I love it for him because I’m in love with him, okay? Now leave me alone.” I shake off his hold when he grabs at the hem of my coat sleeve, marching toward the door, but damn it, he’s persistent.

“You’re already in love with someone else? Come on, Jo! You barely know the guy! We haven’t been apart for that long.” Bryan is yelling, and I whirl around, trying to shush him.

“Lower your voice!” My whisper is harsh and I look around the complex, hoping we don’t disturb the neighbors.

“No.” He shakes his head. “I need to tell you how I feel, and how badly I ruined everything between us. I was stupid. I only got with Clara because she was someone new and I was bored. Lonely. You were never around and she was always there. She was exciting—”

I interrupt him.

“Spare me the details. I don’t want to hear this.”

I draw closer to our front door, Natalie standing in the open doorway, her foot propped against the door, her gaze beckoning.

“But you have to, do you hear me? I’ve been waiting for you for fucking hours out here, going over it in my mind again and again, what I planned on saying to you, and I’m not going to let you just walk away from me now.”

I go cold. Colder than the air outside. Colder than the darkest part of my heart that’s still angry at Bryan. Taking a deep breath, I slowly let it out and count to five before I turn to face him.

“You don’t have control over me, Bryan. It’s on me that I allowed you to say and do those sorts of things to me like you have for so long, but never again.”

Bryan’s frowning like an idiot. “Huh?”

“I’m saying that you can’t boss me around anymore or make your petty demands of me. I’m my own person, and I’m not your girlfriend any longer.” I lift my chin, proud of myself for finally speaking my truth, yet trying to ignore the trembling that’s trying to take over my body. “You need to leave.”

“Come on—” Bryan starts, but he’s cut off by someone else.