Play (Stage Dive, #2)(19)

“You said I was a hopeless liar.”

“You’ll be fine.” He waved my protests away.

I just sat there and reeled. Was this really something we could pull off?

“Trust me.”

“Why do you need a pretend girlfriend?”

“Because I do.”

“Mal.”

He rolled his eyes, face tensing. “Because it’s none of your business why, okay? I’ve paid up your rent. Your sweet ass will not be evicted. In return, all I ask is that you gaze adoringly at me around other people. You do that anyway; what’s the big deal here?”

“So you’re not going to tell me?”

“Have you had your hearing tested lately? Let’s just say I have a good reason, a personal reason, and leave it at that. Honestly, you’re as bad as Davie and Ev. ‘What’s wrong, Mal?’ ‘Are you okay, Mal’ Well, I was until everyone asked me a thousand f*cking times.” He pushed to his feet and started pacing the room. Given the length of his legs, he didn’t get very far. Three steps forward, three steps back. After a couple of laps he stopped, stared out the window at the street below.

“Why does everyone insist on being heavy all the f*cking time? Life’s too short for all this oversharing. You’re here. I’m here. We can help each other out and have a good time while we’re at it. That’s all that matters.” He spun on his heel to face me, arms out wide. “Life’s a song, Anne. Let’s play.”

My life hadn’t been much of a song … at least, not up until this point.

Neither of us spoke for a moment. Expectation and impatience oozed from him. I did indeed have a bad feeling I was being played again. However, not maliciously this time. Mal didn’t seem like he’d harm a fly. But he might accidentally trample one.

From the outside, it seemed a good deal. I really did need the money. I also liked being around him. He was about a bazillion times more fun than I’d ever known. Whatever happened, this was bound to be a hell of a ride. And if I knew he would leave, up front, there’d be no risk of getting overly attached. I’d just enjoy the time I had with him and then say good-bye. This could very well be fantastic.

“Alright,” I said at last. “You have pulled my ass out of the fire. Thanks for that. But I’m still not completely convinced about this girlfriend plan. I guess we’ll see how it goes.”

He clapped his hands in glee. “You won’t regret this. I won’t mess with your life. Much.”

“Much?”

“And you know I’m a f*cking delight to have around. People don’t always get that about me. Plus, I’ll open jars and lift heavy shit. I hear those are issues for women.” He bounced around the room. Good god, this man had energy to spare like he snorted sugar. “So, what should we do tonight? Wanna order some food? What do you feel like?”

I slumped back in the chair, tired from just watching him. “Mal, I don’t have money for that, but you go ahead.”

“Would you stop worrying about money? That’s why I’m here. Everything’s fine. Now what do you feel like?”

“Whatever you want is great.”

“That is so the correct answer. We are going to be the best fake couple ever, pumpkin.”

“Please don’t call me that.”

“Puuuumpkin,” he drawled, eyebrows waggling. “It’s a great nickname. Your hair is kinda that color and we’re a couple now. Couples always have dumb-ass names for each other. C’mon, you think up one for me.”

“I’ll get right to work on that.”

“Cool. Then we’ll have touching time.” He rubbed his hands together. “Actually, never mind, we can do that later in bed.”

My mind scrambled for purchase. “Bed? Touching time? Is that a euphemism? I thought we weren’t having sex. You said we were just pretending.”

“Geez, relax. We’re not having sex, we’re just sleeping together. The whole plan will totally collapse if we start having sex. What I need is a respectable long-term-looking relationship. We start f*cking and you’ll be all ‘Oh Mal, I never dreamed such ecstasy was possible. I cannot live without you! Fuck me, Mal. Pleeeeease.’” His knees buckled until he fell flat onto the floor. It was an impressive performance. The man knew how to bat his eyelashes.

I giggled like a vapid schoolgirl. A noise that pretty much made me want to shoot myself on principle.

“And then everything will go all psycho Fatal Attraction. Trust me, I’ve seen it happen and it’s not pretty. So let’s keep it strictly above the belt. Get your mind out of the gutter, Anne.”

“You’re that good, huh?”

He leveled me with a look. “Miss Rollins, you have no idea.”

“You know, I honestly can’t decide if your ego is repulsive or just impressive.”

“You want me to lie to you instead?”

“Mal, I can barely tell when you’re being serious as it is.”

He rolled onto his hands and knees, then crawled over to me, eyes full of mischief. “If I’m talking to you, I’m serious. Now, we’ll have to kiss in public, obviously. And what if we’re out to dinner and I stick my tongue in your ear and you get all weirded out? People might start to wonder. So we need to practice the touching thing.”