Perversion (Perversion Trilogy #1)(51)

“Hello? EJ?” Gabby asks over and over again on the other end.

I pretend she can hear me as I walk past Fright. “OMG, Gabby, your brother needs to lighten up or those frown lines are not going to get any better.” I look down at my nails. “You wanna watch the new Ryan Reynolds flick on Netflix tonight? Leo says we can use her lap top and hack into the tower for WIFI again. I hear him and his wife are on the outs, which naturally gives at least one of us a shot.”

I even go so far as to pretend to be chewing gum. I take the time to stop and tie my shoe so I don’t seem like I’m in a hurry to get away. Ignoring the instinct to run is tearing me apart. I’m burning up from the inside out.

“If you wanna watch the Lady Gaga documentary again, can we do it after Ryan Reynolds? Last time, you fell asleep, and I couldn’t sing along to any of the songs because I didn’t want to wake you.”

“EJ, is everything okay? What the fuck is going on? Where did you go?” Gabby asks, sounding as panicked as I feel.

I stand back up, ignoring the aching pains in my body and give Fright a wink. I head in the direction of the apartment I share with Gabby.

I twirl my hair in my fingers.

I adjust my backpack from one shoulder to the other.

Even though he’s three floors up and a building away now, I can hear Marco screaming orders at Memo and throwing things across his office in a rage.

“I’m heading your way now,” I say to Gabby cheerfully.

“I’ll stay on the line in case you need me,” Gabby says, catching on.

I laugh hysterically at something Gabby didn’t say while I cross the tall grass in the field.

While I’m hurting for Grim.

While I’m dying inside.

While I’m holding back tears.

While Belly is dead.





Twenty-Six





The funeral is three days after I learn the news. I arrive through the back door. The house is lit up for a party with loud music and boisterous voices. Not anything like I expected.

I’m wearing a skin tight strapless black dress I borrowed from Leo with my denim jacket over the top and my usual dirty yellow Keds.

I move through the crowd of leather-wearing bikers. Marci greets me but keeps her distance. “Thank you for coming. Marco sent word he was sending someone in his place. I assume that’s you?”

“Uh, yeah, that’s me,” I say, keeping up the charade of not knowing her.

“Funerals are neutral, sweetie. You don’t have to worry about anyone here. Make yourself at home. Grab a drink.” Her eyes look sad, but she perks up when a burly biker comes and wraps her in a hug.

“I’m so sorry, Marci,” the man says. She looks at me over his shoulder and I mouth those same words to her. I also slip Belly’s Bedlam ring into her pocket as I pass her by. Marco thinks he lost it when he trashed his office. The truth is I never left it in his office to begin with. It came in when I did and left with me.

The man releases Marci, who nods and waves the tears away from her face. She whispers, “It will all be okay, sweetie. I promise. I believe in you. In Grim. In us. He loves you, just in case the fucker can’t tell you himself. You need to know that. We love you, too. So did Belly.”

“Check your pocket,” I whisper. My tears are threatening to spill and so are hers. More so when she pats her pocket and instantly knows what’s there.

We both turn in opposite directions. I take a few deep breaths to steady myself and remember that I’m there on Marco’s behalf. I turn my face hard and pretend that I’m indifferent to all the goings on around me.

I spot Margaret standing with Damon on the other side of the crowd. She acknowledges me with a nod and quickly looks away.

The music suddenly shuts off and all attention turns to the front of the living room where Sandy is standing in front of the fire place with tears streaming down his face and a bottle of whiskey in his hands.

“I’m gonna say a few…words…about…” Between his hiccups and tears, his words are inaudible at best.

When people gather around to hear what Sandy has to say, I stay at the back of the crowd by the kitchen window.

“I just wanna say. That I...” Sandy breaks out in sobs until Grim appears. He’s wearing a tight, black t-shirt. His eyes have dark circles under them. He wraps his arm around Sandy and pulls him to the side, whispering something in his ear.

Sandy joins Marci on the couch. She places her arm around him.

Grim clears his throat like he’s going to say something, and I’m taken aback. Is the boy who never spoke until he was sixteen about to say something to the crowd? Pride and love and longing are all I feel as I stare up at Grim.

He scans the crowd like he’s searching for someone but looks to the beer in his hand when he doesn’t find it. He straightens and stares at everyone with a confidence that makes me shiver.

“I’m not one for public words. Ya’ll know that. But this was one of Belly’s last requests, that one of his sons says a few things. I think he meant Sandy, but that didn’t exactly go as planned.”

The crowd chuckles.

“If he meant me, then I think it was just to fuck with me from wherever the fuck retired bikers go when they meet their end, but I’m gonna give it a shot because Belly knew that I don’t ever step down to a challenge. And I’m not about to now. Not while he might be watching.” Grim clears his throat. Then, he looks up to the ceiling with a small smile that warms my heart. “Fuck you, pops.”