Park Avenue Player(72)

She nodded. “Okay, but might that be a good thing? It saves you from having to hide it from her.”

“No. It was too soon. The verdict is still out on us. How can we explain it properly to her when we don’t even know what’s happening ourselves?”

“How did Hailey take it?”

“Not well. Now she’s worried I’m going to fuck it up and she’s going to lose Elodie.”

“So don’t fuck it up.”

“Gee, thanks. You’re brilliant.”

“It really is that simple, Hollis.”

I thought ahead to this weekend and wondered if our plans were even still on. “We were supposed to have the whole weekend to ourselves...take the next step.”

She smirked. “Shag like monkeys?”

“I was trying to be more tactful.”

“So, what? Now you’re not sure?”

“She’s not the type of woman you mess around with. I can’t have it both ways. And I need to decide which way I’m going before I take it any further.”

Addison walked around toward me and started rummaging through my drawers.

“What are you doing?”

“Taking out a legal pad. We’re going to nip this in the bud right now.” She grabbed a pen and drew a line down the middle of the yellow, lined paper. “Pros and cons of going all-in with Elodie. There’s one rule, though. The cons cannot be reflections of yourself or ‘what-if’ questions. We’re only listing Elodie’s traits. So, something like ‘afraid to get hurt’ can’t be a con or ‘afraid to hurt Elodie’, ‘afraid to hurt Hailey.’ Those are all reflections of your self-doubt and don’t really exist other than in your head.”

She clicked the pen. “I’ll start. She’s obviously gorgeous.” She jotted it down. “Great for Hailey.” She paused to think. “Makes you smile like a giddy fool when you don’t even realize it—technically not a trait, but I do think it’s relevant.”

After writing it all down, she looked at me. “Cons?”

The most ridiculous shit that held no significance came to mind.

Wears abrasive underwear.

Can’t park for shit.

Nothing I could think of had any relevance or changed the fact that Elodie was fucking perfect for me.

I wracked my brain, trying to come up with at least one legitimate con. But there were none. Every single negative thing I could think of was exactly what Addison had described: a reflection of my own fear.

“I have another pro,” I said.

“Oh?”

“No one else can have her if we’re together.”

“Well, technically that one is a reflection of your insecurities and not a trait, but I’ll let it slide and add it.” She chuckled. “So that’s it? No cons?”

I tapped my pen, then threw it across the desk in frustration. “No cons.”

Addison was enjoying this way too much.

“Stop laughing, Addison.” I opened the coffee she’d brought me.

“Congratulations, Hollis. I just saved you months of useless rumination that would have led you to the same conclusion. You want to be with her, she makes you happy, and honestly, that’s enough.”

She looked me straight in the eyes and her expression turned serious. “It really is enough, my friend.”

***

That evening, I was determined to make things right with Elodie.

When I walked into the apartment, I noticed she looked sad as she wiped down the kitchen counter.

I threw my keys on the table. “Hey.”

She looked up. “Hi.”

“Can we talk?” I asked.

“Actually, I have to talk to you.”

Feeling a bit anxious, I said, “Alright...”

She put the washcloth aside. “After yesterday, I don’t even know if we were still on for this weekend, but I won’t be able to see you, in any case.”

Shit.

“Why not?”

“My friend Bree is not doing well. She requested that her family get together for a weekend away at their summer home up north. Since I’m like family to her, I need to go too.”

“Wow. Okay. Of course, you need to be there.”

The timing obviously sucked. After a lot of self-reflection this afternoon, I felt like I’d finally gotten my shit together. But she was in no mood for my shit. She had far more important things to attend to, and whatever was going on with us needed to take a back seat.

I placed my hands on her shoulders. “Are you okay?”

“It wasn’t until she requested this trip that I realized just how serious it was. I know that sounds stupid because I’m with her all the time. But I guess I haven’t wanted to believe it. She thinks she isn’t going to make it even a few more months, and this trip proves it. It’s hard to accept. I’ve been in denial.”

“Believe me, I understand. When my mother was sick, I’m pretty sure denial got me through.”

She smiled. “Yeah. I know you understand.”

“I’ll be here all weekend if you need to talk while you’re there.”

“Thank you.”

“Where’s Hailey?”

“She’s in her room doing her summer reading.”