Paris: The Memoir(92)

“You’re a woman who lived eight lives at once,” Elliot said recently. “You breathed Marilyn Monroe oxygen.”

I was born to great privilege, and I’m living an extraordinary life. The sheer quantity of media surrounding my life story is staggering. I had to hire someone to help me make sense of it all. Sifting through thousands of pages for more than a year, we barely made a dent. I had to let all that go. This book is my way of walking through that looking glass.

With each passing year, it matters less and less to me how other people love, hate, adore, or dismiss me. Weirdly, that makes me feel closer to understanding people in general. I’m not trying to say I’m just like you. I’m trying to say I see you, and I think it’s possible that we know each other better than one might think. I have secrets like every other woman in the world. Like every other woman in the world, I’ve had terrible things happen to me, and I’ve come out on the other side.

I know we’re supposed to spin terrible things to make it sound like they were actually good, but that’s bullshit. That heart attack did not save your life. Cancer is not a gift. Your abuser did not give you strength. Terrible things are terrible. Let’s just acknowledge it. If you found strength, wisdom, or a new way of thinking, that’s awesome, but notice that the strength, wisdom, and new worldview came out of you, which means it was all there inside you to begin with.

Advocacy saved my life. Carter is a gift. Good things are good, and I’m grateful. Terrible things can go fuck themselves, but I like to think that everything happens for a reason.

Every life story is a web of cause and effect. I was born at precisely the right time to exactly the right people. This cosmic alchemy made me who I am and placed me in a position where I could help someone in desperate need. And in the Spirograph of it all, advocacy work blessed me with the silver bullet that transforms my ADHD from disability to superpower: purpose.

For years I told myself I was incapable of focusing on anything; now I know that I can be a laser beam when I focus on something that truly matters.

When Mom and I went to Washington, DC, in 2022, Rebecca set up a replica of the Obs isolation cell so people could go inside and get an idea what it was like. Me going in there was an obvious photo op.

“Don’t shut the door,” I whispered to Rebecca. She hugged me tight, and I stepped in, trying not to cry.

Not because I was scared. I cried because I wasn’t scared.

I cried because all day I’d been hearing stories: Someone saw my doc and decided not to send their kid to Provo. Someone’s aunt heard our podcast and swooped in to get her nephew out. A girl who was at Provo when my fellow survivors and I marched on that place told me that staff had scrambled to cover the windows and force people into their rooms, but word spread like wildfire through the hallways among the staff and patients.

“What the hell—Paris Hilton is out there?”

The cops came, and media followed, shining their unforgiving light on an evil industry that can no longer hide in the shadows.

gotcha gotcha gotcha gotcha gotcha

That day, I wanted everyone inside those walls to know the same thing I want you to know right now: The people who hurt you don’t get the last word. You get to tell the story of you, and your story has more power than you can imagine.





Acknowledgments

The opinions I’ve expressed in this book do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the Hilton family, 11:11 Media, or any organization with whom I do business. This is my story, to the best of my imperfect memory. If others remember things differently, I respect their right to tell their own stories from their perspective. I’ve tried to process it all with love and compassion, and I hope others do the same.

So many THANK YOUs need to be said! There’s not enough room in this book or a whole library to say how grateful I am for the support, good humor, and love of my family and friends. Mom and Dad: You gave me the world and taught me how to live in it. I am forever your girl. Nicky: You can always read my mind, so you know how important you are to me. You are my best friend, and I can’t imagine my life without you. Conrad, Tessa, and Barron: You make me happy just by being yourselves. To my cousins Brooke, Whitney, and Farrah: So many fun memories around the world together. To all my other cousins, aunts, and uncles: You rock. My found family—Nicole, Jen, Allison, Holly, Cade, Brit, Kim—and too many others to mention: You’ve been there for me with laughter, love, common sense, and insane amounts of fun when I needed it most. Little Hiltons: I hope you see yourselves in all the happiest parts of my story. I want every single one of you to feel my love and gratitude.

My life was forever changed by the documentary team who refused to settle for less than my real story. Huge gratitude to Alexandra Dean, Aaron Saidman, and all the talented people who worked on This Is Paris. My advocacy and legislative work wouldn’t be possible without my impact director, Rebecca Mellinger, and supporting staff. With you on my side, I know we can change the world. Bruce Gersh, the president of my media company, does the impossible every day and keeps this whole crazy carousel spinning, assisted by everyone on my incredible team at 11:11 Media. Special thanks and love to everyone who works with me on my fragrances, product lines, podcasts, social media, metaverse—all of it—you make it work. And you make it fun.

My dream book team traveled with me through the looking glass and back. Albert Lee, my literary agent at UTA, found us the perfect publishing home. Editor Carrie Thornton and her staff at Dey Street moved mountains and created a gorgeous design. Joni Rodgers helped me find my voice and held my hand through the chaos, supported by her agent, Cindi Davis-Andress, and researcher, Patty Lewis Lott. None of that would matter without the people who read this book, so thank you for your time and thoughtful energy. I look forward to hearing from you on social media and seeing you out in the world. A huge thank-you to all my little Hiltons around the world.