Over Her Dead Body(21)

As I rechecked my golf bag—golf balls, tees, glove, towel, sunscreen, lucky coins—I thought back to my encounter the night before. It felt good to be in the presence of a beautiful woman. And I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t attracted to her lean dancer’s body, the graceful slope of her neck, her eager curiosity. Yes, I had slept with another man’s wife, but it didn’t have to define who I was forever. It was time to move on from this—do better. Be better.

My phone buzzed. Not a text; she was calling. I muttered an expletive, then answered it. “I’m walking out the door.”

“I need to see you.”

My cheeks burned, something between terror and rage. “No,” I said. “I’m not doing this.”

“Please, I can’t do this over the phone. I have the day off, let me come.” She was crying. I felt like a shit. So I said the first thing I could think of to shut this down.

“I’m seeing someone.”

I meant it as a lie, to get her to leave me alone. But when the words came out of my mouth they felt so right, so freeing, so inevitable, it was like my desires and my future suddenly merged into one. It was a story that was already written. I just had to walk into it.

“I don’t believe you.” But it didn’t matter. Because I believed me.

“Go back to your marriage,” I said.

And the line went dead.





CHAPTER 16




* * *



JORDAN


“Jordan! How nice to hear from you!”

“Everything’s fine, Evelyn,” I said to Ashley’s mother, who no doubt was surprised to get a call from her daughter’s roommate on a random Sunday afternoon. Now that I had the ring, there was just one more thing I had to do, and I decided to do it right then and there in the jeweler’s parking lot.

“I haven’t seen Ashley yet today,” I said, so she would understand that I wasn’t with her daughter and had my own reason for calling. “She’s been working really hard these days,” I added, to imply she was at work, which she probably was. Ashley didn’t get up early on Sundays unless she had to give a tour, appear at a birthday party, or had some sort of acting-related thing.

“Well, she certainly is due for her big break,” the proud momma said, and of course I agreed, even though I didn’t understand anything about being an actor, except that becoming one didn’t seem to follow any logical process or timetable.

“So . . . you’re probably wondering why I’m calling,” I said. I felt a zing of nervousness as I paused to gather my courage. I was about to launch into the spiel I’d been rehearsing all morning, declaring my feelings for her daughter, then asking for her blessing for her hand in marriage, but she cut me off.

“Hang on, Jordan. Billy just walked in. I’ll put you on speaker.”

Billy was Ashley’s big brother. He was one year ahead of me in high school, yet always several spots behind me in the batting order. We’d had a falling-out his senior year, when I told Coach Stevens how some of our teammates had conspired with the batboy and his girlfriend to steal signs during the playoffs. I hadn’t known Billy was one of them, but it wouldn’t have changed anything, I still would have told. His defense—“All the other teams are doing it, too!”—while not untrue, got him benched and earned me a black eye and a shoulder that had only grown colder over the years.

“Billy! It’s Jordan calling from California!” I heard Evelyn say.

“Who?”

“Hey, Billy. It’s me, J. C.” Only parents and nonathletes ever called me by my given name. To my teammates I was, and had always been, J. C.

“Oh, right,” came the chilly reply.

“Sorry, Jordan, I interrupted you. You were saying?”

I hesitated. Ashley was one of three children. If she got engaged to me, she would be the first. I knew most people don’t ask a parent’s permission to propose to their daughter anymore, that it was old fashioned and terribly formal, but with Ashley’s dad gone, the family had gotten really tight. Ashley called her mom every day, even when nothing was doing, and I imagined her two brothers did the same. I should have known one of them would be there; they both still lived in the neighborhood, and Sundays at Evelyn’s were for football and barbecue, no matter the weather. I had been hoping to catch Ashley’s mom alone, but maybe it was a good thing Billy was there. Because I wanted his blessing, too, even though it would be harder to come by.

“Billy, I’m glad you’re there,” I said. “I wanted to talk to you, too.” OK, that was kind of a lie, but there was no harm in making him feel important.

“What about?” I couldn’t tell if there was hostility in his voice or if I was being paranoid. High school was a long time ago, and I never hit him back. One might say the score was even.

“Well, as you know, Ashley and I have been living together for seven years now, y’know, as roommates.” Ugh, why am I so nervous? Billy wasn’t a good enough player to have gotten recruited out of high school, but I know he was pissed he couldn’t play in what turned out to be the team’s final game. I’m sure he thought I took that away from him, even though he really took it away from himself.

“We’ve gotten really close over the years,” I continued. I don’t know why I was such a goody-goody in high school. Did I think they’d blame the Black kid if they got caught? As the only one, I was an obvious scapegoat. Or maybe I’m just wired that way, because nothing’s really changed. I’m still the idiot who tackled the meth-head-purse-snatcher in the Vons parking lot, even though it was the system that was to blame and the night the guy spent in jail helped absolutely no one.